Ashes with the Bashers

Tour Report – Ashes with the Bashers

Thurs, 4th Dec ’25 – Don’t be a Dick
Shrek arrived mid-afternoon to the Norman Park airbnb – Bashers HQ – and was straight down to the bottle-O and stocking the fridge. It was warm enough for the 10 mins walk back up the hill to draw complaints about the heat!

Number 1 on his way…

Parrot and Shit Shoes landed around 8pm and eventually located each other after running around the airport trying to find various gates. Day 1 at the Gabba was a taxi hotspot, so it took even longer to get ourselves to Bashers HQ. Fresh out of FNQ, Parrot immediately cranked up the AC (despite outside now being a pleasant 21 degrees).

Lights of the Gabba from the flight in

Shrek informed us that his mother had passed that afternoon, so we toasted her with some cane cutters cordial, aka sugarcane champagne, aka neat Bundaberg rum. Rest in peace Liz.

Shrek had strategically ordered pizzas and so we got stuck in. More beers, rum and cokes, general chatter ensued, and the first Bashers Thursday drinks in Australia for a while went on late.

Canecutter’s Cordial, aka Sugarcane Champagne, aka Bundy + coke…

Fri, 5th Dec ’25 – The Slow Roast
The Bashers tourists awoke feeling slightly dusty, perhaps not accustomed to the cordials up in QLD. However, we were soon revitalised by a triple shot coffees from the Grumpy Monkey, followed by a round of breakie burgers, and starting to enjoy the beaut Brisbane day. There was the big tree across the street and a friendly butcherbird begging for breakfast on the balcony.

Local Butcherbird on the balcony

It was at this point that Parrot, newly a grumpy 50 year old, realised there were issues with the balcony door and the shower head. He made sure to complain in full Karen style about every defect in the Airbnb, even mentioning the smelly rubbish bins. It was simply unacceptable!

Bashers HQ – the airbnb in Norman Park

So mid-morning a RB Williams and skinny jeans wearing property manager arrived to tape the shower head in position (with regular sellotape) and screw the door lock back together. Well, it was sort of back together.

Midday was approaching, so we jumped on the bus to the vicinity of the Gabba. I must say, from an architectural point of view, the Gabba is a bleak concrete cauldron, and lacks the finer points like the Members or Ladies stands at the SCG. However, nearby are plenty of bars and restaurants, so we found a table at Easy Times. It was the only seating available, behind some thick street planting and strategically placed on the street parking zone. Time for some hydration in the form of full strength pales.

Entry to the Gabba for 2pm was an short stroll around the block, but we felt every step in the humid 30°C Brissy weather. The POMs would get well acquainted with this fielding for most of days 2 and 3.

Welcome to the Gabba

I guess CA was scrambling for cash after the early finish in Perth because no water bottles could enter into the ground. They surely made a healthy profit hawking waters for $5.70 each inside.

Our seats were in the full blaze of the afternoon sun just a few rows back from the boundary, and temps were rising to uncomfortable levels. Fortunately, Parrot found us some shady seats further back and we were able to watch the last few overs of the English innings.

Temps were rising!

Enter the Australian batting line up, and partnership after partnership put the English bowlers to the sword. It’s true there were no hundreds, but every batter contributed double figures and the total kept ticking over at a good (Bazball) rate.

Woodstock appeared soon after the innings change, with wide brimmed hat and linen shirt. Gabba mid-strength beers were toasted, and then we ducked out at tea for a feed of ribs and a few Great Northerns (which anyone will tell you is the beer they drink round here).

Tea on Day 2 at the Gabba

We made it back to enjoy the night session, which was the best part of the day (evening). Cam Green was dancing all round the crease for a few entertaining overs. He was bowled playing T20 and immediately Smith was caught incredibly well at backward square leg. Then the English drops started. It was like watching Pudong or the Hot Dogs field.

Day-night test cricket at it’s best…

Our return to Bashers HQ wasn’t streamlined as the busses weren’t stopping adjacent to the Gabba, or they were and we didn’t know where. However, after a lengthy hike past 2 closed stations, we found an open station and almost immediately the bus arrived.

The Gabba under lights!

Back at Bashers HQ, we were waiting for the arrival of Tampon from Taiwan via HK, which he estimated at 1am. Everyone fell asleep waiting, but Shrek did open the door when he arrived. Welcome to Australia – here’s a shot of rum and a timtam.

Sat, 6th Dec ’25 – Test Cricket is the Best Cricket
The start was even more dusty for those at Bashers HQ. Fortunately, Grumpy Monkey supplied the much needed caffeine boost once again.

Tampon learning about Aussie birds…

Parrot/Karen informed the Airbnb owner that the door was still not locking in terse terms. At least it appeared locked from the street and when Swiper arrived from Sydney, we all headed over to the Norman Hotel, the worst vegetarian restaurant in Brisbane.

Spanner rocked up. Two of Tampon’s English uni mates arrived (and ordered salad). Steaks all round and as many jugs of beer as we could drink in a 2 hour sitting.

The Bashers at the Ashes…

The Norman Hotel – worst vegetarian restaurant in Brissy!

Having been slow cooked the day before we swapped our tickets with some youngsters and sat in the shade immediately. It was fortunate because the sun was fierce. The English bowlers were wilting and the Starc + Boland partnership finished them off.

Spanner had to place a few on at a nearby TAB. The Aussies innings finally finished. So we once again reassembled for a drink at Ribs & Burgers during the break.

Back inside the Gabba and the English batters were a mess. After a few wickets, Spanner suggested an early leave, and the rest of us were exhausted, so we ubered it back to Bashers HQ to see the last couple of wickets fall on TV. More beers, wines, and Bundy’s.

Sun, 7th Dec ’25 – Cultural Bris-Vegas
Shrek was off with the dawn, leaving Parrot, Tampon and Shit Shoes to take out the trash and leave the Airbnb reasonably presentable.

Next move was to store our luggage at the Tequila Sunrise hostel where Tampon was staying the next couple of days, and to find ourselves some eggs benny and a coffee.

Tampon’s phone/screen had died at the Gabba and he needed a replacement, so we found an open store and he was soon back online.

Parrot thereafter took control of proceedings, walking us across the brown snake to the cultural heart of Brisbane. A wander through the museum and art gallery room took us to lunch, when I headed off to the airport. Last I heard Tampon and Parrot were finishing off the leftover beers saved from the Bashers HQ fridge.

Crossing the Brown Snake

An excellent weekender at the Ashes was had by all (except Stokesy and the English who had over prepared). Looking forward to the next Bashers Aussie catch-up!

P.S. This wasn’t the only Bashers day at the test cricket down-under. Check out Filthy, Dags and Hustler soaking in the Basin Reserve for the NZ vs West Indies game.

Dags and Hustler at the Basin

Dags and Filthy repping the Bashers