2009 Awards

As bestowed over lamb and nan at Yakexi Xinjiang restaurant on 27 November 2009.

• Barack Obama Award for Least Memorable Victory Speech
  Mal “Omega” Collins
• Denny Crane Award for Most Ineffectual Figurehead
  Denzyl “Brokeback” Allwright
• Rossco P. Coltrane Award for Hottest Pursuit
  Dave “MVP” Silverman
• Fred Dagg Award for Most Glural Performance
  Neal “Birdshit” Watkins
• Kerry Packer Award for Pyjama Cricket & Marvelous Commentary
  Richard “Parrot” Yates
• Chiang Kai Shek Award for Diplomacy
  John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol
• Patch Adams Award for Putting Bashing Before Health
  Dean “Loose Bowels” Lapthorne
• Nostradamus Award for Predicting the Past
  Channa “Made In” Phillip
• Michael Crawford Award for Best Performance as the Phantom
  Sunny “KC” Sahi
• Lady Godiva Award for Inability to dress himself
  Navin “Symbol” Saxena
• China Eastern Award for Punctuality
  Rakesh “Rock” Kumar
• King Ludwig II Award for Protecting his castle
  Oliver “Stats” Austin
• Fernand Petiot Award for Relentless Hangover Cure Research
  Dave “Oscar” Rosenthal
• Florence nightingale Award for Best Use of Band-Aids
  Ainsley “Pusher” Mann
• John McEnroe Award for Bat Tossing
  Andy “Tank” Scott
• Victoria’s Secret Award for Best Lingerie
  Sameer “Paps” Jolly
• Tenzing Norgay Award for Carrying Other People’s kit
  Hadleigh “Sir Dick” Churchill
• Edmund Hillary Award for Letting others carry his kit
  Kevin “Cassius” Wright
• Willy Nelson Award for Most Fines
  Hamish “Katie” Stevens
• Paula Abdul Award for Cheerleader of the Year
  Sam “Circus” White
• Elizabeth I Award for Abstinence
  Evan “Divinyl” Goldbach
• He KeXin Award for Flexibility
  Ed “Don Juan” Owen
• Fidel Castro Award for Most Upsetting the anti-basher
  Sheyan “Dipso” Patel
• Rosa Parks Award for Bus Tourist of the Year
  Paul “Woodstock” Howard
• Galileo Galilei Award for Reaching for the Sky
  Travis “Swoop” Weir
• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Award for Newcomer of the Year
  Jimmy “Bugs” McLeod
• Roger Federer Award for Best Website Returns
  Desmond “Long Dong” DeSilva
• Nina kiu Tafadhali nataka bia baridi
  Sam “Swahili” Finnerty
• Bart Simpson Award for Sledger of the Year
  Luke “Turtle” Benbow
• Usain Bolt Award for Best Victory Celebration
  Phil “Filthy” & Mia “Squeaky” Mildenhall
• Oscar Wilde Award for Lumberjack of the Year
  Hadleigh “Sir Dick” Churchill
• Alessandro Pezzani Award for Best Dressed
  THE BASHERS!
• Geisha of the Year
  Hannah “Lady Dick” Churchill
• Pleasure Bowler of the year
  Desmond “Long Dong” DeSilva
• Pleasure Batsman of the year
  Mal “Omega” Collins
• Qin Shi Huang Award for Pleasure Fielder of the Year
  Ainsley “Pusher” Mann
• Pleasure All-rounder of the Year
  Andy “Tank” Scott
• Business Batsman of the Year
  Oliver “Stats” Austin
• Business Bowler of the Year
  John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol
• Business Fielder of the Year
  Kevin “Cassius” Wright
• Skipper’s Award for Player of the Year
  Sameer “Paps” Jolly
• President’s Award for Basher of the Year
  Hamish “Katie” Stevens
• Basher Legend
  Neal “Birdshit” Watkins