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Bashers Cricket Club

2009 Awards

As bestowed over lamb and nan at Yakexi Xinjiang restaurant on 27 November 2009.

  • Barack Obama Award for Least Memorable Victory Speech
    Mal “Omega” Collins
  • Denny Crane Award for Most Ineffectual Figurehead
    Denzyl “Brokeback” Allwright
  • Rossco P. Coltrane Award for Hottest Pursuit
    Dave “MVP” Silverman
  • Fred Dagg Award for Most Glural Performance
    Neal “Birdshit” Watkins
  • Kerry Packer Award for Pyjama Cricket & Marvelous Commentary
    Richard “Parrot” Yates
  • Chiang Kai Shek Award for Diplomacy
    John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol
  • Patch Adams Award for Putting Bashing Before Health
    Dean “Loose Bowels” Lapthorne
  • Nostradamus Award for Predicting the Past
    Channa “Made In” Phillip
  • Michael Crawford Award for Best Performance as the Phantom
    Sunny “KC” Sahi
  • Lady Godiva Award for Inability to dress himself
    Navin “Symbol” Saxena
  • China Eastern Award for Punctuality
    Rakesh “Rock” Kumar
  • King Ludwig II Award for Protecting his castle
    Oliver “Stats” Austin
  • Fernand Petiot Award for Relentless Hangover Cure Research
    Dave “Oscar” Rosenthal
  • Florence nightingale Award for Best Use of Band-Aids
    Ainsley “Pusher” Mann
  • John McEnroe Award for Bat Tossing
    Andy “Tank” Scott
  • Victoria’s Secret Award for Best Lingerie
    Sameer “Paps” Jolly
  • Tenzing Norgay Award for Carrying Other People’s kit
    Hadleigh “Sir Dick” Churchill
  • Edmund Hillary Award for Letting others carry his kit
    Kevin “Cassius” Wright
  • Willy Nelson Award for Most Fines
    Hamish “Katie” Stevens
  • Paula Abdul Award for Cheerleader of the Year
    Sam “Circus” White
  • Elizabeth I Award for Abstinence
    Evan “Divinyl” Goldbach
  • He KeXin Award for Flexibility
    Ed “Don Juan” Owen
  • Fidel Castro Award for Most Upsetting the anti-basher
    Sheyan “Dipso” Patel
  • Rosa Parks Award for Bus Tourist of the Year
    Paul “Woodstock” Howard
  • Galileo Galilei Award for Reaching for the Sky
    Travis “Swoop” Weir
  • Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Award for Newcomer of the Year
    Jimmy “Bugs” McLeod
  • Roger Federer Award for Best Website Returns
    Desmond “Long Dong” DeSilva
  • Nina kiu Tafadhali nataka bia baridi
    Sam “Swahili” Finnerty
  • Bart Simpson Award for Sledger of the Year
    Luke “Turtle” Benbow
  • Usain Bolt Award for Best Victory Celebration
    Phil “Filthy” & Mia “Squeaky” Mildenhall
  • Oscar Wilde Award for Lumberjack of the Year
    Hadleigh “Sir Dick” Churchill
  • Alessandro Pezzani Award for Best Dressed
    THE BASHERS!
  • Geisha of the Year
    Hannah “Lady Dick” Churchill
  • Pleasure Bowler of the year
    Desmond “Long Dong” DeSilva
  • Pleasure Batsman of the year
    Mal “Omega” Collins
  • Qin Shi Huang Award for Pleasure Fielder of the Year
    Ainsley “Pusher” Mann
  • Pleasure All-rounder of the Year
    Andy “Tank” Scott
  • Business Batsman of the Year
    Oliver “Stats” Austin
  • Business Bowler of the Year
    John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol
  • Business Fielder of the Year
    Kevin “Cassius” Wright
  • Skipper’s Award for Player of the Year
    Sameer “Paps” Jolly
  • President’s Award for Basher of the Year
    Hamish “Katie” Stevens
  • Basher Legend
    Neal “Birdshit” Watkins
Unusually quiet around here
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