Moist Eggplants – An Emoji Rant

Bashers ⚒🏏🎪 Cast of Characters:

• Bhenchod 🏰👭🌮🍆
• Giraffe 🦒🍆
• Fisty Cymbals✊🍩🙉
• Stroker 🍆🏊🏼‍♂️
• Fluffer 🍆☁️
• Pope 🙏🍆
• Tucker 🍆🧦
• Reckless 🍌🚯🚨 (♍️)
• Fake News 🍊🤡👎🗞
• Inches 📏🍆(♍️)
• Birdshit 🦆💩

also present briefly

• Sharapova 🇨🇳🎾🙀🤰🏻👸 and son ⚒🤴

also 💩💩🏢🏏🎭 (Pudong)

Sunday 29 July 2018

Started out from Cages ⚒⚾️🍻🕌.

Coupla ⚒ 🍒🚫🍾 Virgins in tow (🍌🚯🚨&📏🍆).

Wellington 🏟 was 💦. The ⛲️⏳ had not 🎚🚫.

🦅💩 was able to 🛠 a 🏏🦇 and a 👠 and with 🏰👭🌮🍆’s help ⚙️ the 🌊👋. 👍.

🏰👭🌮🍆 lost the 💰🍆👋.  ⚒🏏🎪 would 🍚. 

🦒🍆 opened from the 📏🏃🏾‍♂️ despite the 🌶🌡.

He kept to his proposed strategy of bowling no wides, except for one wide. 🦒🍆 collected the first ☠️ in the 🥇 over. He eventually got 2/21

Keeping the 👣 on was 🍆🧦. He finished 1/20.

🍆☁️ (1/39) with Murali style bent arm and 🐧💩 (1/26) also contributed ☠️☠️ while 🏰👭🌮🍆(2/8) was the ⛏ of the 🥣ers.

🍒🚫🍾 🍌🚯🚨 was ⚡️❗️🔥💣💥 while he lasted but after 🎯ing one too many 🍉s he was 👮🏾‍♀️🚓👉🏽🛌.

🍊🤡👎🗞 was present.

The main talking point of the innings was the 💯 effort in the 🏟. 💯🎈🥊. 0️⃣🎈⏚. 💩💩🏢🏏🎭 managed just 🖐🏼 boundaries. 👍 and ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ given the ☀️ and 🛀🏻🌡. 🎯 throws from 🍆☁️ & 🍆🧦. 🍆☁️ also inventing the left arm reverse discus throw 😲.

⚒🏏🎪 would be 👀 to beat 128/8.

https://www.crichq.com/matches/661793/1st_innings

Old 🚀👖, ✊🍩🙉 started and almost ended things.

·….

🍆🏊🏼‍♂️ got the first 🏃🏾‍♂️ off the 🏏 sometime during the second over before being stumped.

🍆☁️ and his one good 💪 next for a 39 run 👬 of which  ✊🍩🙉 scored 🎱.

🍵🥤🍶🍷🍸🍹🍺🍼🍾☕️ break.

⛪️🙏🍆 ⏰ed in next and would ⛺️ for some ⏳. He 👀 ✊🍩🙉 get one off the ⏚ (43rd ball).

🍒🍾 🍌🚯🚨 did enough to earn ⚒🧢3️⃣3️⃣8️⃣ (··☠️)

👩🏻‍✈️ 🏰👭🌮🍆 stepped in (19🏃🏾‍♂️19⚽️).

All this ⏳ the ⚒ has kept lockstep with the 🦆worth🚽is〽️. ⛪️🙏🍆 decided he wanted his 🌓💯 and 🚀ed a pact with the 😈 (6️⃣6️⃣6️⃣) which inevitably ended in ☠️. 

🍆🧦 took us to the 🏁 with a 🐫🐫.

https://www.crichq.com/matches/661793/2nd_innings

🎉🎯🥂❗️

In summary:

🌡💦🎯⚒🕹🥇🍾🍿🦄🍆.

• 🏰👭🌮🍆 : All round inspirational captaincy.
• 🦒🍆 : Miraculous off the long run.
• ✊🍩🙉 : What’s not to love about this dotty old bugger.
• 🍆🏊🏼‍♂️ : Where did he go?
• 🍆☁️ : One arm is better than two.
•  🙏🍆 : Almost a miracle.
• 🍆🧦 : What we had in reserve.
• 🍌🚯🚨 (♍️) : Red card on debut.
• 🍊🤡👎🗞 : Turned up this week.
• 📏🍆(♍️) : Was also present.
• 🦉💩 : Tended to the ground, scored accurately.

New caps:

• 338 Archie “Reckless” Supple (named for being banished by the umpire because of his total disregard for occupational health and safety)
• 339 Rich “19 Inches” Lester (bought 19″ left over pizza)

Metaphor