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Square Root & the P(B)itch – Pleasure vs. Digital Devils

After kicking off the season with a loss against the leapords, Bashers Pleasure was looking forward to game#2 of the season against the digital devils.

Former pleasure captain Swoop suggesting the bus departure be moved up to get some valuable nets time under the belt. With the loss still weighing on the Bashers, it didn’t take much to get a majority vote to get to the ground early and get a bit of practice in.

Elsewhere, on a warm spring afternoon, a few Bashers decided to get some additional practice in as slSkid Row, Fake News, Bambi, Paps Smear, Warcry and Schløst made their way to Saturday nets. Would it be of any use or would it be as futile as Tucker trying to stay fit for the entire Bashers season? Read on to find out more.

Come game day, the Bashers Pleasure X met up at the Cages to get on the bus. Prez K (Paps) denying a first this season to have all 11 on the bus. However, there were still XI Bashers on the bus as Rooted joined the Bashers on the Bus. Bashers keen to put the snazzy new Bashers game day shirts to use. However, Pleasure would soon realize that the lazy Leisure twats had taken a bunch of the L shirts leaning Pleasure to take XL or M shirts. No prizes for guessing Skiddy wouldn’t fit into a Medium..

Shirts sorted. Beers done – Thank you Birdy & Leisure! Kit good to go. Pies check.

Skiddy proudly disclaimed he didn’t trust anyone else with the pies, before bestowing Rooted with the honor of holding on to the pies until Pleasure got on the bus. This author thinks Rooted did something to the pies while she was entrusted with them. No sooner were the Bashers on the bus, than there were pies on the seat.

Skiddy with the first and perhaps THE most crucial and painful drop of the day, and perhaps the season. In trying to set the box of pies on the seat, Skiddy ended up dropping them on the seat, only to scoop them back into the box and one pie into his mouth, faster than MS Dhoni whipping off the bails.

Skiddy, disclaiming that would be the only thing the Bashers would drop that day!

Warcry making his first pregame appearance on the bus asked who had the best taste in music to which Skiddy said “fuck yeah”. And DJ Feast spit out some average music. Warcy having had enough after two songs decided to put on his noise cancellation headphones and isolate himself from the music being played.

Captain Bambi led some of the Bashers in a pre match beer, clearly that was going to work out well…..

At the ground, pregame nets were done. Bambi having proved himself to be a good tosser in the first game was confident of winning the toss. The coin was tossed, and Bambi lost the toss. But much to everyones surprise, the devils put the Bashers in to bat. Fresh off his stellar knock in the first game Swoop was entrusted to open the batting along with Nuts.

Both Nuts and Swoop looked good in the middle despite a few edges flying around. Bashers looking good, until Square (Leg) Root have Nuts run out after little deliberation. Apparently the bat was in the air. Another #RunOutGate on the cards.

Paps was promoted to #3 and was asked to play a Dravidesque innings, or so he claims. Swoop and Paps dug in and ensured the Bashers didn’t collapse. Some calculated risks we’re taken, some classy strokes and some gritty shots were played as the two kept the score ticking. That was until Swoop was dismissed for a well made 23 in the 12th over. A determined Paps was joined by Tango and the two got down to work…. Defending every ball possible. Singles were taken, so were the doubles. However, the threes we’re categorically turned down. Some glorious stroke play from Tango was on display. A cover drive for four, a tuck off his legs for a couple and a hoick over mid wicket for four among some of the highlights. Interestingly, it would be Paps who would be the first of the two to cause a break for his shoelaces to be tied. Massive dines for all! But, Tango, not to be left far behind lived up to his reputation and slowed the game down to have his shoe laces tied. In a very unTango-Esque shot, Tango attempted to hit a pie bowled wide down legside and ended up falling over his own shoes – laces firmly tied. That brought a few chuckles in the Bashers tent.

With 10 overs to go, Paps decided singles and doubles weren’t going to be enough, just as captain Bambi was thinking how he needed to get a move on. A glorious shot off his legs as the ball raced to the cow corner boundary. The next ball, Paps would chip one back to the bowler in what would be a tata end to a glorious innings for a patient and almost faultless 34. Bashers 115-3 after 20.2

With the perfect platform set, Bambi was in next, only to spend a couple minutes at the pitch before having his stumps disturbed as he attempted an ugly swipe across the line. Bambi still settling in to live without tinder, tantan, Badoo, people nearby and all the swiping he was used to.

Sensation was in next and the partnership the fans wanted was finally here. Tango and Sensation! Sensation gave the tent something to cheer about as he smacked a loose delivery for four on the leg side. In a repeat of his dismissal in D1, Sensation was sent packing, caught behind for a quick fire 13.

Skiddy, Warcry and Fake News all followed with minimal contributions to the score as Tango held down the fort and kept the score ticking over. Tango would get to his 50 in the final overs of the innings, a well deserved half century under the belt. Bashers ending with 177 after their 30 overs.

At this point, the confidence was running high in the Bashers camp as the devils were quiet and perhaps demoralized. Some fielding practice was done and in typical Bashers fashion, it wasn’t done too well.

Bambi gave his charges a pep talk while Paps was missing as he attended to his infamous bladder. Just before the charged up Bashers broke the huddle, Capt. Bambi was quickly told to fuck off as he propositioned, “should we do hands in?”

Sensation was to take first shot at sending the devils openers back but there was only one thing missing. I his excitement of holding hands with 10 other guys, captain Bambi had forgotten one minor detail – aka the match ball.

Soon enough, the Bashers were underway as Sensation and Warcry started off with some decent bowling. However, the batsmen were swinging and the edges were flying to the safe zones as the runs were flowing. Some good fielding and keeping by stand-in keeper Skiddy helped control the damage. The Bashers would get the first breakthrough in familiar fashion as Warcry was rewarded for some good, sharp swing bowling as he had the first opener caught behind in the 6th over. No sandpaper needed.

Swoop was brought on and found his line/length after a couple false starts. At the other end, Square Root was brought on to give Warcry a rest. However, the devils were still swinging hard and Rooty bore the brunt of it as Rooted buried her head in her hoodie at the sidelines. An over before drinks, Paps was brought on to try and shake things up and a tight over had the Bashers fired up and going into drinks feeling like they could pull this back. At drinks, the devils were comfortably ahead at 108/1

A pep talk was delivered and hydration done, the Bashers were back on with a change behind the stumps as Skiddy swapped the gloves with Bambi. Skiddy was on straight after drinks and was causing trouble right away. The third legal delivery was a quicker skidder that was fired in at the batsman’s pads. The batsman swung across the line and missed and was wrapped flush on the pads in front of the stumps. A loud appeal, and a second wave of appeal by Skiddy was turned down as the umpire deliberated in his mind, only to say it was too close to call and perhaps missing leg stump. Bashers feeling something was about to happen and on the alert. Another quicker one fired in by Skiddy, this time on off stump was cut hard by the well set batsman, straight into and out on Swoops hands at short point/cover. Two lives in two balls for the batsman. The next ball was tossed up high, and slow and on leg stump, the batsman’s eyes lit up as he shaped to send that ball into orbit. But the sheer lack of pace on the ball resulted in the batsman chopping it on to his own stump by way of his pads. A well wet batsman dismissed and the Bashers believing they could turn this around. This was followed by another tight over from Paps, who then settled in to mid off and said “Come on Skiddy, you’re the wicket taking bowler today”. Not wanting to let the Prez down, Skiddy tossed up the first ball of his second over and the dangerous devil batsman did his best to send it to orbit. Again, beaten for pace he ended up mistiming it into the hands of Warcry at deep square leg. A well judged catch on the boundary! Bashers fired up and feeling they were in with a real shot.

Some lucky shots, lazy fielding and odd bad balls resulted in a few big overs that put the devils right back on top. Damascus and Nuts were given a chance to roll over their arms as the devils chased down the remaining runs with plenty of wickets and overs to spare as Pleasure slipped to their second loss of the season. The new shirts being 0-2 after leisure lost in the morning as well.

Finesmaster of 2017 – Nuts led the Bashers in a fines session on the bus that would be completed at the cages where Leisure survivors and legends – Cranky and Birdshit, and briefly Omega would join in. A few buckets later, the remaining Bashers would make their way to Indian Kitchen.

Rooty and Rooted were put under the spotlight as Rooted spilled details on how their romance blossomed and how Square Root wooed her. Rooty looking as comfortable as he would be during s colonoscopy. The night ended with the Bashers dispersing post dinner.

Rooty wishing he’d taken the early train back


Bashers didn’t do too much wrong on the day and a tough loss to stomach, but in the end we were second best on the day.

Next up, the dirty doggies! This author’s favorite fixture of the season and the fixture that changed the course of the Bashers season last year!

Pleasure will take on the dirty doggies early on Sunday April 1st at SCSC in the search of the first Bashers win of the season.



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