The Nanjing Bashacre

The Nanjing Bashacre – The Story of the 2014 Nanjing Rural Sixes

The Bashers about to begin the weekend at HQ Station on Friday night

The Bashers celebrating their win in the final to retain the Shield of Dreams

On the Field
As the title suggests – it was a Bashacre – with the Bashers the only unbeaten team during pool play, and then winning the final. The opposition was weak this year, with the Nanjing boys mostly occupied during the past year eating pies (which they later bowled), and Suzhou bringing more than their fair share of “agricultural” players to the party.

Game 1: Nanjing Disco Ducks 31/2 vs Bashers 34/1
Notable:
• Sick Note 1/2
• Post-Op 22 not out
• Awful Wicketkeeping by Shitshoes despite taking a one handed catch
Result: Bashers win by 4 wickets

Game 2: Bashers 66/2 vs Suzhou One 29/4
Notable:
• Pope 17 not out
• Dags 14
• Tiny 1/4
• Mouse 1/6
Result: Bashers win by 37 runs

Game 3: Nanjing Bogans 21/6 (with a Last Man Stand) vs Bashers 23/0
Notable:
• Pope 2/1
• Tiny 2/6
• Shitshoes 1/3
Result: Bashers win by 5 wickets

Final: Bashers 72/2 vs Suzhou Two 67/5
Notable:
• Tiny 39 retired and 1/8
• Post-Op 24 not out
• Pope run out without facing a ball and a terrible 2/21
• Shitshoes 1/5
Result: Bashers win by 5 runs

The story of the final is the story of Tiny’s epic MVP performance. It started when Pope was runout without facing a ball off a powerful return drive from Post-Op, which brought Tiny in to bat in the first over. He then proceeded to hit four monster sixes over cow-corner and wide long-on, as well as a couple of other boundaries. Meanwhile Post-Op also cleared the boundary for three big sixes in a fine unbeaten effort. In the field, Shitshoes got things started with a great first over, well supported by Post-Op with a stumping, and then Dags got Green Shorts – a dangerous Suzhou batsmen – out bowled with a gem. Pope, who had tanked up on cider before the match, then bowled a very wobbly over that included 3 wides and a 12 hit by the opposition El Luchador. However, he did get two wickets – one an incredible catch on the run by Tiny – to remove the El Luchador. Tiny was left to defend 13 off the final over, and 9 off the last ball. The boozy umpire, corona in hand, called a questionable wide to make the finish exciting. That meant the Suzhou batsmen needed 6 to win off the last ball that needed to be re-bowled. He tried a pull that top-edged for the simplest catch to Post-Op behind the stumps.

Off the Field
The Nanjing Rural Sixes is the most social tour of the year, with plenty of off the field shenanigans, and this year was no exception.

Notable, but by no means a complete list:
• Sick Note turned up to the train on Friday night with the ingredients for mojitos, and turned out some quality drinks to make it a very LOOSE trip
• Long Dong insisted the HQ station McDs didn’t sell fries, and came back with 6x McChicken meals, including fries
• Post-Op called shot-gun on the black taxi ride to the hotel, which he enjoyed in comfort with a friendly dog to play with, while the remaining four of us squeezed up in the back seat with a lot of luggage that didn’t fit in the boot with the kitbag
• Shitshoes’ mojito-fueled ramblings prevented Pope from getting more than an intense look from Yuki, who picked them up in a taxi, and was reportedly F-I-N-E (although possibly married)
• Furthermore, something about Pope and an unforgettable girl in a poka-dot dress
• And Pope again – he missed the bus in the morning after pulling an all-nighter (one of 4 Bashers to do so)
• Golden Shears got into a fight over a sneeze on the metro coming to the ground, and had to talk his way out of the police station, before he arrived to support the teams (but not play)
• Mid-afternoon Pope complained about being hungry because he hadn’t eaten anything since the 2x McChickens he ate on the train the night before – but no fewer than 4 eye-witnesses instantly placed him at Jimmys chowing down on at least half a pizza
• Long Dong fell asleep wrapped up in Inky’s picnic blanket and had to be replaced in the team for the final by Sick Note, and was unable to be woken up even for the winning team photo (Tinky reputedly covered him with gear from the kit including a box over his head)
• Suzhou Simon was comatose for the final 2 hours of play, and his team mates just took stupid photos of him, instead of getting him to a hospital
• The pathetic Nanjing teams invited us to a Casino night at a German bar, but didn’t show up, except for a creepy dancing guy with a piece of string who told us to not to get any ideas about his bar-girl/girlfriend and German Joe, who wasn’t even a Nanjing local
• The hotel breakfast on Sunday was exceptional, and provided a good chance for us to sketch out plans for the Goa / Dehli Bashers tour for the October golden week holidays later this year
• And many more hazy memories…