Lumberjack Report on 35 Over Friendly versus Devils

Devils CC 1st XI v Bashers CC 1st XI

Dulwich College

29 March 2009

Devils 237/7 (35 overs) Bashers 163/10

Geez it’s a nice day today. Yesterday, not so much. It was dry enough (the weather) but bloody freezing.

Of the 13 in the Bashers squad 8 showed up for the bus. Inquisition was assisting with emergency birth of new Panda cubs. Hammer repeated his performance of last years 20-Twenty semi-final by being a big girly no show (there will be more on this later….)

Other Bashers missing in action were the Bus Driver Pornstar and new Bashers mascot Lara.

A new blue bus was used for the first time – dubbed the “Opium Den”. Sir Dick was seen literally chucking (poorly aimed) fruit on the bus. A new skipper was also used and Stats immediately showed his inexperience by not knowing the intricacies of a coin toss. He simply decided we would field first because “We’re better at chasing”. Really?

So the Bashers kitted up in several layers and headed out to the tar pit which was the Dulwich ground. Despite being muddy the surface was surprisingly slick and plenty of miles were clocked up in the outfield. Filthy softened up the openers with some lightning new ball antics and Paps showed no first game jitters and quickly took four wickets plus another three leg befores. Unfortunately the Devils umpires had decided on a “No LB’s” rule for this match.

After initially being sent to square leg, Scoob nearly broke down from the emotional weight of past nightmares there and was moved to slip where he looked more comfortable in combination with new keeper Cassius. This was the last of the fielding changes for the day by the rookie captain. Stats lead by example in not fluffing a self proclaimed “blistering catch at mid-off”. His captaincy is still not fully matured yet though as exampled by his excellent judgement in setting a deep backward square to an in form Gravity Newton but choosing Omega to fill the spot. Cost = 94 runs.

Long John’s promising yet stuttering start to his Bashers career continues. In his first match he faced two balls before being run out. In his second match he bowled two balls before being Martin Johnsoned by Cassius in a disagreement over who should take the easiest catch in Cricket history. Long John returned to his mark but the keg of blood staining his trousers tipped us off that he perhaps needed a band-aid or something to patch up the split in the webbing of his fingers which extended to just above the elbow. Bashers now down to 9 players – further fines for Hammer.

The brakes were put on the Devils innings by some deft and deceptive bowling from Sir Dick and an extra-ordinary 69 over spell from Omega off his long run up, he is off the oxygen now and should be able to stand again by Thursday. Dot balls are fun!

Even birdshit got two overs and managed to get a bunch of deliveries on the pitch and intimidated Gravity enough to keep him at the non-strikers end. Great all-round effort first up by the Bashers restricting a dangerous looking Devils line up to a mere 237 runs off 35 overs.

Quotes of the Day from Sir Dick “Get me a latte, if i’m in bring it out or just hold on to it” and “it’s a team biscuit”. Not sure what the first one means and the least said about the second the better.

Sir Dick also said that during the record four and a half over opening partnership with Omega (including 2 runs from the bat) that the ball was “definitely there to be hit”. Unfortunately by the time he’d swung his bat through 720 degrees the ball was no longer “there” but somewhere else. Omega fell first after slogging his way through 12 balls for a duck.

Scoobie gave great hope in a swashbuckling 2 ball innings at a nice tidy strike rate of 100. Apparently the stumps moved half a metre during the second delivery. Cassius also showed great promise quickly making five before news reached the middle that his sandwich had arrived. He promptly committed the mortal wicket keeper sin of being stumped. Not sure who was at square leg when that happened.

Oscar was assertive in his umpiring (no LB’s, no Stumpings) but slightly less assertive in backboning the innings. He was fined for un-Basher-like behaviour in almost exclusively running doubles. His 64 run partnership with Stats made anything seem possible. Stats claimed (falsely) a high score with his 35 off 39. Filthy actually did better in batting alone at the end for 35 off 31. They were both trumped by Extras (39 including 34 wides).

In all a top batting effort by the Bashers in almost using up all 35 overs and avoiding the follow on.

Mrs Stats and Lady Dick “glowing” from a session of touch around the corner joined the lads in the Opium Den on wheels. Plenty left in the esky this week. Quality control by birdshit found the seats to be more than adequately absorbent – easily soaking up half a can of San Mig.

Back at the Sticky Wicket Bar Sir Dick lead one of the most intellectual fines sessions in memory. Hammer’s fines were doubled due to him not bringing his promised 7 foot tall West Indian mate. There is a tally in the back of the lumberjack Logbook. A special fund-raising function will be organised in order to accrue the funds necessary to buy Hammer’s fines.

Long John has regained consciousness and his vagina is healing nicely.

New Basher: #121 Kevin “Cassius” Wright.