How to Bake Hot Dog Buns

2020 has been the year of baking. Seems like everybody has been cranking out dodgy sourdoughs for their social media fans.

The Bashers have joined the movement of the moment and on Sunday 7 June they demonstrated their latest recipe. Behold the delicious and nutritious buns into which they stuffed the compressed slaughterhouse floor sweepings which are the hot dogs.

Ingredients

Water

“You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.”. ― Bruce Lee 

The Bashers have their own  Kung Fu master in Paps.

Butter

“There was an Old Person of Prague, 
Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
But they gave him some butter, 
     which caused him to mutter, 
And cured that Old Person of Prague.” — Edward Lear

Juggler butters his bread both sides, opens the batting, opens the bowling, that way ensuring his toast always lands butter side up.

Egg 

“When sperm and egg unite, something goes from inanimate to animate. It is life.”— Mitt Romney

I’m not saying Focus looks like an egg but he did score 0 without facing a ball.

Sugar

“I love to eat – Kit Kats or cookies-and-cream ice cream. I need sugar like five times a day” — Kim Kardashian

Fling, sweet as bro!

Salt 

“I want to express my deepest apology to the athletes, the people of Salt Lake City in Utah and the millions of citizens worldwide who love and respect the games. “ — Juan Antonio Samaranch

We know Bambi is a massive wounder so why not rub some salt in.

Herbs

“The more people smoke herb, the more Babylon fall.” — Bob Marley

The more U-Turn bowls, the more hot dogs fall

Spice

“We were the Spice Boys.” —  George Harrison

 Suka – Scary Spice himself

Flour

“This flour of wifly patience.” — Geoffrey Chaucer

Omega. Plain, white, powdery

Yeast

“Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.” — Henry Ford

Start low and stay low Pope

Egg Wash 

“My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.” — Tracy Morgan

 Covid20 is the nice shiny crust

Sesame Seeds

“Getting a degree, being on Sesame Street… those were like real accomplishments to me.” —  Chaka Khan

Duke living the dream, acing exams, getting roofied by the chicks and smashing jugs with the Bashers

Method

Add all ingredients into a pitch and mix well. Bake in the hot hot sun until well over done. Retire to the bar and savour with a cool beverage. Repeat.