Bashers Arrive in Fours, Still Give the Devils Hell

The Arrival – Swiper Time, Scenic Detours & a Bashers Headcount Crisis

The Bashers arrived — or rather, trickled in — to NAIS’ picturesque new ground. Pretty, petite, and surrounded by the kind of tranquillity that did not foreshadow the chaos to come.

Swiper, ever keen to get to a cricket ground, began his solo pilgrimage from the far reaches of Suzhou (adding to his Trans-Pacific voyage) and was, unsurprisingly, the first to arrive. No trains, no carpools — just raw dedication and Didi as a sidekick.

Shortly after, Haseena rolled in with Paps and Mr. Tickle in tow, forming the core of the early Bashers contingent. The rest? Scattered across time zones, group chats, and varying definitions of “on the way.”

Soapy, meanwhile, took the scenic route via SRFC, later claiming (with a straight face) that he only went there to “pick up the team kit.”

With just four players present and full confidence in the chaos to come, Haseena strode up to the toss, won it, and—naturally (with not much of a choice)—chose to bat.

Batting – Starts, Smashes & Sudden Collapses

Haseena sent in Swiper and Paps to open with the kind of confidence that neither batter likely shared — but for a moment, it looked like he might be on to something. Swiper started solidly, looking in good touch, playing a few crisp strokes that suggested he meant business. But cricket, being cricket, had other plans. In a stroke of misfortune that could only be described as cosmic trolling, he picked out the only fielder in the same postcode — dismissed in the unluckiest fashion, since Paps on the other end intended to use up all the luck allocated for the day.

Paps, meanwhile, began working through his nine feline lives. The feline nature was put into question when he begrudgingly ran a three with Juggler, who had replaced Swiper and looked absolutely thrilled about the cardio.

Juggler’s stay was brief but dramatic — caught and bowled trying to punch one back down the ground. The kind of dismissal that says “I’m here for a good time, not a long time.”

Then came Mr. Tickle, who started like a Test opener with front-foot defence before deciding that he only knows how to hit the long ball instead of the text book batting. He launched a blistering 50 with six sixes — including three in one over. Paps, not one to be upstaged, joined the fireworks, reaching his own half-century before finally falling — either to the bowling or gravitational fatigue.

A minor collapse followed, but thanks to some tail-end contributions and a solid platform already laid, the Bashers posted a healthy 232 — well above par for a side that started the day with a four-man squad.

Bowling/Fielding – Slips, Strikes & Surprise Appearances

Suka and Juggler took the new ball, keen to reclaim the lives Paps had borrowed earlier. Soapy, living up to his name, dropped two catches like the ball was dipped in baby oil. But Juggler made amends by bowling one of the openers, knocking over the furniture and lifting Bashers’ spirits.

Then came Swiper’s catch of the century (that’s what he claims it to be) — a running, over-the-shoulder grab taken at full speed and the last possible moment. A moment that belonged on highlight reels and motivational posters, and something he is intent on not letting people forget. 

The Devils lost three but began to consolidate, keeping the chase alive. Some animated sideline coaching from their captain put pressure on the batter — and DRS capitalized, bowling him around his legs. DRS continued his spell of destruction, finishing with a 3-wicket haul.

With runs flowing again, Haseena made a bold call — pulling Yeti Dick from behind the stumps and tossing him the ball. The original bowling openers returned, and momentum swung. Suka’s clever low full toss tempted Lobo into a big hit — and guess who was waiting underneath it? Swiper again, clutching his second catch this time with gloves on, and completing his fielding redemption arc (which included gifting five penalty runs earlier).

Then, just as the Bashers began feeling the heat, Fling mysteriously appeared near the rope. No one quite knew when or how. Before he could say hello, Paps had thrown him into the deep field, taking full advantage of the surprise arrival. No warm-up. No explanation. Just field.

From there, the Bashers hunted in packs. Yeti Dick rushed the batters, bowlers choked the runs, and the Devils’ innings limped toward the finish.

The final blow? Soapy — from the deep — with a direct hit. Redemption in one throw. Game over.

Bashers win — narrowly, gloriously.

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Post-Match – Fines and Froth at Momentum

Celebrations carried over to Momentum — the sleek new, not-yet-open venue proudly sponsored by the fine folks who brought us 521. It was christened the only way the Bashers know how: with a fines session.