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The Lost Leisure Lumberjacks

There were a number of missing Leisure lumberjacks for matches this year, but none have been updated since Birdshit posted the list last month. So to preserve the memories of these great Leisure wins, I will post short reports, to be added to by the missing lumberjacks as/if required.

Leisure vs. Dream Team, 22 July 2012
The first missing match report coincided with my memorable golden duck for the SCC Pirates, so while I wasn’t involved directly, I was at the ground and I do have (H)og’s photos, as well as the scorecard.

The Dream Team batted first. Cranky and Billy opened up strongly, with Billy picking up an LBW and Cranky being particularly miserly in his overs. Sharapova and Puberty then demolished the middle order with some outstanding bowling. Woodstock, The Gear and Mouse finished off the tail. The Dream Team all out for the woeful score of 101 on the last ball of the 18th over.

At this point I walked across and noticed the Leisure celebrating during the match with a tray of ice and no fewer than 6 jugs of beer. There was a general feeling of celebration and as Mouse pointed out the Dream Team had made “F*** all!”

Only four Leisure batsmen were required to chase down the total. Prick and Pope made a reasonable start, with Pope hitting four brutal sixes. Then Sharapova and Parrot finished the game at the end of the 12th over for a comprehensive 8 wicket victory!

From there it was a short walk to the pool, where fines ensued. The only hold up to proceedings was the lack of jugs at the SRFC bar, which delayed the arrival of the beer for a good ten minutes. Furthermore, the celebrations continued in the pool until it achieved what Smoochie later described as “ball soup” a couple of hours later!

Leisure Stars of the Day
Puberty – 3/20 off 3 overs, 1 catch, 1 runout
Woodstock – 1/5 off 3 overs (no extras)
Pope – 35 off 24 (1×4, 4x6s), 1 catch
Parrot – 32 n.o. off 19 (4x4s, 2x6s)

Leisure vs. Daredevils, 29 July 2012
This particular game is already recorded in the short clip that was posted soon after the match. However, more detail is required to fully preserve the full match day experience. The match was played at Dulwich on about the hottest day of the season – it must have been pushing 40 degrees!
Dags decided that as Leisure hadn’t chased runs in many games, it would be good practice for us to bowl first, in case we had to do it in the final. So on winning the toss, the Leisure was out in the field. Parrot was a no-show, so Zebra borrowed a Bashers shirt, took her shoes off, and fielded outstanding fine legs.

Woodstock and Puberty began with a hostile opening spell. An early runout from Dags (after he had dropped the catch at cover), followed by quick wickets to Puberty (nice catch by Pope at deep point) and Sharapova, kept the game in the balance. One of the Daredevils openers, who ended up retiring on 50, was given not out early for what sounded like a caught behind (I was only fielding half way to the boundary at third man). However, the heat took toll and the later overs were expensive even though the Daredevils kept loosing wickets.

Special mention should be made of Dags, who finally took a catch at silly mid-on, after dropping a couple of easy chances, and also Pusher, who came out of retirement to pick up a good wicket in his over. With a few overs to go Post-op gave the keeping pads to Sharapova and bowled a two overs of assorted deliveries, picking up two wickets!

Being Dulwich, all we had was cold water to refresh ourselves at the break, and so were not at all loose when we began our run chase. The total of 152/8 was the highest total chased down in the whole season, so we knew it was going to be tough. Pusher and Sharapova went out to bat first, and had a solid opening partnership (although Pusher seemed to get most of the strike).

Mouse finally got to bat after umpiring at square leg for 9+ overs, and immediately swung away a couple of huge sixes to cow corner. Then the Leisure had a crisis in the middle order, with first Pusher, then Post-op, Mouse and Prick out in quick succession.

The 60 runs required off the last 6 overs was a tall order, and the Daredevils were talking it up big-time on the field. Pope seemed calm, and started hitting the ball nicely. So I just kept giving him the strike, and he kept hitting 6s in a phenomenal innings under pressure. Finally, after a 50 run partnership off just under 5 overs, Pope was bowled.

The pressure was still on with 10 runs required off 7 deliveries, and the game was there for both sides to win. Under the pressure though the Daredevils bowler came up with two wides down leg past the keeper, which allowed Puberty and myself to scamper through for some byes. This left 6 runs required off the final over, and when presented with a rank long-hop on the first delivery, I put it over deep square leg for a six off the first ball.

So the result was a hard fought 4 wicket win for the Leisure against a team that had chirped plenty in the last 5 overs. We got on the bus asap, and headed back to the Camel for hearty celebrations. Mouse made sure that Sharapova and Zebra came in for some cocktails during one of the more epic fine sessions of the year.

Leisure Stars of the Day
Post-op – 2/22 off 2 overs, 1 catch
Woodstock – 1/17 off 4 overs
Pope – 44 off 24 (2x4s, 5x6s), 1/19 off 4 overs, 1 catch
Pusher – 33 off 42 (3x4s)

Leisure vs. Dads and Lads, 19 August 2012
It was another scorcher of a day at the SRFC, and as the game was scheduled to start at the late hour of 12 noon, Leisure was able to take their time getting to the ground. We won the toss and decided to have a bat, so Cranky and myself got padded up, warming up against a few hostile throw-downs from Dags.

The opening partnership was chanceless and the runs came quickly, which didn’t impress the opposition wicketkeeper at all. Cranky hit a six to retire on 55 on the last delivery of the 10th over, and the score was at 96 without loss at drinks. It was around this time that Pope arrived at the ground after a big night out. There seemed to be steady supply of beer for the Leisure during the first 10 overs, and even the scorers were getting loose!

After such a strong start the game was fairly well in the bag, and the Leisure never let off the pressure. Jesus, in his first appearance for the Bashers, came out to bat briefly. So did The Gear and Parrot, who all added small contributions to the score.

Unfortunately, Parrot was run out in a suicide run by Dags, so it was left to Dags and Tantric to close out the innings, and Dags unleashed with some fine boundaries to the leg side, including one monumental six to a lengthy midwicket boundary. The final score of 172/4 was an imposing total, and the team was confident of defending it.

Woodstock and Sharapova opened up the bowling and seemed to be doing well. Woodstock picked up a wicket fairly early, but Sharapova was targeted. Around this time Woodstock took both a fine catch and made a misfield off his own bowling, and during one or the other of these close interactions with the ball broke some fingers, but continued to play on showing true Leisure spirit.

Latex also took a spectacular catch at Fine Leg, and Je-sus took two good catches (with equally good celebrations). As I was fielding at point, one of the batsmen smashed a low chance to me that hit me just above the ankle (a tough one, but I did get a couple of fingers to it), and so I went off for a couple of overs to ice it.

To their credit the Dads and Lads hit out and made a game of it. There was some strong batting, but two runouts and some great bowling from Pope cleaned up the middle order. Parrot and Tantric also helped to finish off the tail, and the Dads and Lads ended up 29 runs short of the total. The Bashers went back to the Camel for another victorious fine session!

Leisure Stars of the Day
Cranky – 55 off 31 (6x4s, 3x6s), 1/17 off 3 overs
Shitshoes – 31 off 26 (3x4s)
Pope – 3/23 off 4 overs (no extras)
Tantric – 1/17 off 2 overs

Leisure vs. Knights, 2 September 2012
The final match of the season, and a must win game for the Leisure to ensure we finished top of the table and qualified directly for the final. Memories of the absolute hiding the week before against the Hot Dogs were still raw, but fortunately, we were up against the Knights who hadn’t won a game all season long.

The toss was taken, and the Leisure fielded first. Loose opened up with a hostile pace attack from one end, and Tantric with his deceptive slow/spin from the other. The run rate was kept under control, but wickets were hard to come by.

One teacher was constantly lecturing the student on how to play (despite the student having no shortage of ability). Cranky took an instant dislike to the teacher and came in off the long run to try to get the wicket, but somehow didn’t manage it. He did bowl one of the Knights, and Latex made a memorable catch behind the wickets off Mule. Eventually the teacher who couldn’t stop talking was out for 47 during a great spell by Birdshit in the later overs. The Knights finished up with 107/5 from their 20 overs.

It wasn’t a tough target to chase, and the Leisure were well supported by the Jaguar with his mint tea set, Pusher, Woodstock, Sinbad, and Tank, who volunteered to umpire, so we approached the run-chase with confidence. I opened up the batting with Prick, and put in a solid effort despite wickets falling at the other end. Mid-way through my innings though, and mid-way through a cover drive, my bat handle snapped and the blade continued in the arc of the cover drive and ended up hitting me in the top of the head. Son of a B****! Thanks Gray Nicolls and R.I.P. the Oblivion Slayer.

Pope, Cranky, and Dot all batted for brief but entertaining cameos, before it was left to Latex and Tantric to score the winning runs. Latex batted calmly and with class, following up his solid performance wicket keeping, and Tantric ground out the runs with a minimum of effort. It was another comprehensive victory for the Leisure, who got home with 5 wickets in hand and 2 overs left. The win put us into the final, and the rest is history!

Leisure Stars of the Day
Birdshit – 2/13 off 3 overs
Mule – 1/4 off 1 over (no extras)
Tantric – 26 off 35 deliveries (2x4s)
Shitshoes – 24 off 25 (5x4s)

That sorts out the Leisure matches and all that remains is to celebrate the season at the End of Season Awards Dinner!!!



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