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Bashers Cricket Club

Pleasure vs Hot Dogs Report: On the road to the finals!

As we all started arriving at the camel at 11:30am for our 14:00 game (who was the dumb f**k that organised us to convene two and a half hours before the game), there was tension in the air and a hint of beans as we prepared to board the bus with our arch nemesis the c*ck smokers AKA Hotdogs.

The two teams fought for seats on the 7 seater bus, which amazingly arrived early for once. We then listened to stories of Loose making castles in the sandpit last weekend, Badabing & Swoop going over the AFL probable play-off scenarios and the one South African on the bus was abused about the All Blacks massive comeback and victory earlier that morning (3-0 biarchs)!

We arrived at the SRFC with only 1 hour 20 minutes and 34 seconds to spare. The sky was blue, there was a slight breeze and thermometer hitting 35 degrees Celsius; it was perfect weather for kite flying and death for the team fielding first.

Tank then proceeded to win the toss and decided to test the physical conditioning of the c*ck smokers by letting them field first. Both teams went into their extremely vigorous warm-ups with the c*ck smokers doing their best to kill themselves by warming up for an hour with Circus like fielding practice. While the mighty Bashers hydrated on water, Gatorade and most importantly beer.

With a batting order that a New Zealander would be jealous of, Tank put Pothole (8) and Pitstop (31) into open. They easily saw off the opening bowlers and established a good base for the innings with Pitstop hitting early boundaries. Rock then came in with some beautiful shots and never seen before quick singles, before being runout for 49 in the last over. Dazzler continued his great form and only just missed out on retiring with his 57. Badabing smashed a quick 32no off 16 balls. With the Pleasure seeing out the 30 overs, the c*ck smokers were feeling the heat. They now faced the daunting task of needing 200 runs to win the game against a team with the confidence of the All Blacks.

The game plan was simple, keep it tight and a Pleasure victory was certain, or so it seemed (we never calculated extras into the plan)!

Swahili opened with some mediocre bowling that showed that duty free alcohol is not always a good thing. Loose and dazzler bowled a tight spell and the overs ticked over for minimal runs. The captain decided to bring himself on. After being dispatched for a few runs he then claimed a famous “captain on captain” wicket, with Long Dong taking a beautiful, on the run catch and then letting everyone in Waigaoqiao know that it was his first catch of the season. Loose then claimed a wicket that was assisted by the batsman playing it onto his stumps. A c*ck smoker comeback then began and some arguing with the umpire assisted their efforts as a stumping was reversed. This ended with Badabing yelling “Shut the F*CK up Eric” (The batsman who was demolishing Shears awesome bowling at the time). The bashers regained control with good fielding and communication. Loose f*cked off for a BBQ and left us with 10 men for the final overs (c*nt). Didn’t need or miss him as the bashers got 3 runouts and Swoop picked up a nice cleaned bowled in the last over.

A great victory against the C*CK SMOKERS our fellow CAMEL BAR sponsored team. The ride back was tame and very Business like (Gay). The fine session was attended by 5 players and was very un-business like (hard out f*cking cool).

Noted:

  • Dazzler wearing his pants backwards.
  • Tank for saving Shears kid from brain damage.
  • Extras (50) for almost costing us the game AGAIN!
  • Loose for drinking all the beers and then leaving early(c*nt).
  • All Blacks for destroying South Africa.
  • Tank for gaining his first victory as captain.
  • Bashers for abusing the TV crew there.
  • Shears for having a spew and still playing.
  • Great batting by the top order for once.

One more big win against the Pudong pussies this weekend and the 2nd Division title is there for the taking. Then we don’t need to spend next season listening to Business glory stories, we will have our own.

2010 Santa Fe Championship

Monday 23 August 2010 P W D L F A P
Leopards CC 7 5 0 2 1161 1123 43.61
Pudong Power 7 4 0 3 1143 982 39.03
Devils CC 6 4 0 2 932 881 35.92
Bashers Pleasure 7 3 0 4 1030 1124 34.1
DPR Hot Dogs 7 1 0 6 1134 1290 24.94

GO BASHERS!!!!!!

2nd XI The match as remembered by the Lumberjack

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