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Lumberjack – Business vs. K2

Lumberjack – Business vs. K2

Game 1 – 12th April, 2015 at SCSC


The bus journey to the ground, joint with Leisure, began with Stats declaring the back of the bus sacred ground and only to be occupied by those playing Business. But as the laws of the land don’t apply to birds we were made to bear the chirping of Parrot.

The bus driver, insisting that the esky be kept in the luggage compartment, provided no temptation for the D1 boys to loosen up before the game and we arrived fully sober. We had 12 men down to play although the skipper was extremely doubtful that Inquisition was going to arrive, but, just as nobody was expecting it… So our 12th man promptly, and rightly so, pissed off and joined Leisure for the day. Paps lost his first toss of the season and we were put into the field. Catching practice, led by Cassius, was particularly challenging and made for a good introduction to the new Bashers: Pussy, Mao and Ketchup.


The innings started well for Business with Pussy bowling a maiden first up followed up by Square Root taking the wicket of opener no.2, whose greatest achievement that day was convincing his skipper that he was an opening bat. The first 10 overs were kept pretty tight with the pressure fully on as Ketchup took a fantastic diving catch in the gully (definitely a nomination for catch of the season already) in Pussy’s 4th over and Square Root managing somehow to bowl the new batsman with a ball, coming over the wicket, that pitched outside of leg and clipped the outside of the off stump. This left K2 31-3 after 10.

The time was ripe for some new bowling as Paps (8-0-32-2) steamed in only to see the opener clip one in the air to be dropped by Inquisition. The smile came back on his face though when he was given a generous lbw decision and Shit Shoes caught a bullet, much to the amazement of Korean, who happily made his thoughts known. At the other end, on debut, Ketchup (5-0-14-0) was putting in a fine performance with some loopy off-spin that quickly dispelled any hopes the part-time spinners may have had of getting a chuck.

Long Dong (6-0-32-0), reliable as ever, was brought into the attack along with Inquisition (5-0-23-1) who dismissed the opener Waqar (50) courtesy of another great catch from Ketchup! Before the game started Paps didn’t expect Inquisition to field so well, consequently he put in a great performance as did the rest of the team with Ketchup outrunning everyone in the field, much to Cassius’ disappointment. Mao, our slip fielder for the day, could have done with some of that energy as he regularly forgot to chase the ball going to the boundary, even when there was no third man. K2 105-6 after 30 overs.

After a short break for a complete screw-up between the scorers and umpires over how many overs had gone and how many we were playing in the first place, events got interesting. K2 started to up their run-rate, Pussy (8-1-42-1) came back on and was delighted when he saw the batsman glove the ball, in the style of a two-fisted punch, that was easily pouched by Korean. The batsman stood his ground. The umpire was unmoved. Darkness fell upon the ground, the birds stopped singing and the D3 game on the far pitch went eerily silent. Stats, Korean and Inquisition immediately surrounded said batsman asking if he was going to walk and then proceeded to give him all the verbals he deserved. And so, in accordance with his soon to be given Bashers name, from Pussy flowed the red river of anger and the ‘non-walker’ promptly received vicious bouncers galore along with constant sledging from the team. After a couple of overs of that treatment Square Root (8-0-36-3) bowled him with that one ball he wasn’t expecting; the slower full toss.

A fair amount of damage had been done by K2 batsman Sajid (61no) at the other end and they finished 188-8 after Long Dong had converted a run out from the last ball of the innings.


The chase seemed set for Stats and Cassius to take us all the way home, a plan which failed in the third over as Cassius (3) heard the stumps rattle. Square Root (9) came to the crease with the full intention of being sensible, he was for a bit, and then he wasn’t. Meanwhile, Stats (23) was looking in good nick hitting a couple of crisp boundaries but was caught after surviving a drop or two. Paps came out to join Shit Shoes in the middle but – blink and you would have missed it – he was back in the hutch after being caught behind for a three ball duck. Business 55-4 after 17.

With Shit Shoes and Mao at the crease the partnership of the innings commenced. Both were hitting the ball well, both got lucky, but the runs were flowing. It was looking really good as Shit Shoes, especially, dispatched the slow bowling with ease. After a lovely mid-innings knock on debut, Mao (25), was out caught leaving Business at a much improved 118-5 after 29.

Shit Shoes reached his extremely well-deserved half-century, plentiful of boundaries, that was absolutely keeping us in the game. A great knock from the club captain. Korean (7) joined him at the crease for a short while, forcing the heavily perspiring Shit Shoes to run a quick three, before being caught behind. Now we were 143-6 after 33. Pussy prowled into the middle and was instructed, by the batsman with his eye in, not to do anything too stupid. Shit Shoes (57), immediately disregarded his own advice and crawled off the field.

Inquisition (3) came to the crease and, after a good partnership with Pussy, was caught behind. Business 154-8 after 36. Out comes Ketchup (9no) sprinting like a greyhound from the trap. The fast but not always orderly running between the wickets granted Ketchup a 6 to his name, after running two, and then watching the ball go for four overthrows. With runs coming from the five other balls of the over, and a handful of wides, Business needed a run a ball from the last three overs. It seemed doable but unfortunately Pussy (13) holed out and Ketchup, along with Long Dong (0no), started to soak up the dot balls.

With 10 needed from the last two balls shouts of “have a swing” came from the boundary. This encouragement almost lead to the toe of Long Dong’s bat making it above knee height but it wasn’t to be and Business finished 179-9.

K2 win by 9 runs.


business fines

The new bashers were named and Inquisition’s militaristic fines session took place, setting a good example to be upheld for the rest of the season. A close game with a lot of “if only”s, but a lot of positives to take away too, especially the good performances put in by all the new Bashers.



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