Lumberjack Leisure Vs Pudong 7 August 2012

A glorious morning for cricket as a few ‘bag in hole’ hangovers were on their way to the Camel.

Arriving at 6.30am with Herpes on the front lip of the Camel and shuttered doors , was not the best start. Finally getting into  Camel at 7 , Tantric, Mouse, BS and Herpes quickly packed esky, looked at top 2 kit bags which seemed to have the required amount of gear needed, ( sans handles and working zippers !! ) we headed towards the blue skies of the street and an empty parking space where a bus should have been.

Feeling better to know Parrot had a shit and was on the way , we patiently as only expats are , waited for the bus to arrive .

Around 7.30. without pies to consume , we offed to the ground surprisingly in a direct routed fashion , with esky sitting un-consumed.

A realisation this travesty had occurred Omega asked for a beer , which quickly became a very social drink. Herpes decided he was to stay dry , but with very little encouragement joined in for tunnel and highways beers.

Spurred on by his first official game as captain, Omega gave a rousing impersonation of a drama teacher and an underwhelming Glee Club pep talk, to which Mouse called for Truffles immediate return.

Pre game warm ups consisted of an unusually long walk to the far ground to an enthusiastic team mid pregame warm ups until we realised they were Div 2 Dirty Dirty Doggies , and a turn around to the near field only for Birdshit to commence abusing the tent staff for setting it up at midget height.

The Pudong team arrived to BS running a fielding drill , which really was TBC Jiadeep ( Frisbee ) chasing mis directed hits out to the pitch, and ended when BS completely missed a ball which went into the creek.

Parrot finally made it onto the grass after another shit , and Omega won the toss and decided having a bowl with no notable bowlers in stock was the way to go.

Plans were set for Tucker to open bowling , however that was as far as the planning went, so when Tucker was not at the ground on time Omega had little choice but to throw the ball to himself, to get things going.

Unbelievably it worked as Pudong were 1 for 3 at the end of the first over, Parrot bagging an edge down leg side.

Tucker took the next over and had another back in the tent with Parrot taking another catch.

His next brought Oswald into the game taking 2 very clean catches at first slip and the Leisure enjoying the sun ( except Parrot ) with Pudong 4 – 13 after 4 overs.

The miserly bowling continued with Omega getting rid of James Gooding in his 5th and after 10 overs Pudong were 5 for 34 and the Bashers had taken all catches , and looked like worthy semi finalists

Oswald and Birdshit into the attach and by drinks both had a wicket each , and Pudong 7 for 53 still yet to hit a boundary.

Unfortunately the break did no good for Leisure , with Mouse and Tantric into the attach , a few loose ones started a revival for Pudong who scored 33 runs until a nice stumping off Tantric .

Oswald back into the attack and his over conceding 16 runs, as their number 8 batter deciding attack the best form of defence until BS got miserly and had the last 2 wickets gone , 19.4 overs , Pudong a very gettable 112 .

With a feeling that we let things slip from a very good 8 for 70 to 112 all out, Omega decided on giving Frisbee a go to accompany our batting giant Sir Hadleigh to get the chase off to a flyer.

The flyer being one skied off the edge to fly slip on the third ball and Sir Dick visibly upset. As he’d all but ran off the field with Herpes settling into getting suited up, the fence banner copped a kick,  some miscellaneous kit abuse and tantrum ongoing, Herpes finally infected the pitch and we were sent a message that 5 a run penalty for not crossing on field was awarded . Leisure would be 3 wickets down before we had reached zero runs .

Herpes did little but spoon one back to the bowler, Norm ,  got a nice full toss up first which he sent to the boundary to bring up our first official run, thought this was all too easy and missed the next one on the stumps.

Tucker joined Frisbee, who was looking like he had played before , as he was eating up the dot balls, finally launched one for six over the bowlers head. The tent sensing something special to happen was immediately disappointed as he too skied one to fly slip and the wheels well and truly wobbly.

Tampon joined Tucker , hit a boundary and walked off with 5 to his tally.

After missing the entire batting disaster unfold by having a shower and another shit,after much prompting , Parrot padded up just in time for Oswalds return after he came and went to what looked like a Malinga thunderbolt and Parrot joined Tucker who was holding up the other end.

For a while this partnership looked promising until Mr Gooding got Tucker caught behind for 8 and Omega replaced him.

Still with 3 overs to drinks ( yes all the above happened in 7 overs ) the Aussie pair set about keeping Pudong in the field as long as possible .

At drinks,  Sir Dick at Square leg was still fuming for his early demise ,decided to call Jay the umpire on the 5 run penalty, with some language best left off this report.

Without knowing about the ongoing umpire inquisition  Omega approached Santos from Pudong about same incident and was told it was all Jay.

Pudong fairly requested for the penalty to be dropped and Jay reluctantly agreed after some encouragement from both teams.

Once drinks were taken the left right combination were starting to get into Pudongs heads , for another 4 overs they continued to frustrate and had the score beginning to tick over as the low target was edging closer.

Playing at one on a good length to many times Parrot finally nicked one behind on 11 bringing Tantric , and then Birdshit to join Omega.

While Pudong were playing ‘move the fielder where the last ball was hit” Omega was finding gaps for ones and twos with one tonk for 6 but was finally out at short cover for 23 with BS not out 1 off 10 stubborn balls faced.

All out for 73 somewhat disappointing after bowling and fielding brilliantly.

Of note

Birdshit 3-16 off 2.4 ov .

Tucker 3-18 off 5

Omega 2-16 off 5 and 23 runs

Oswald 1-29 off 3 overs and 2 slip catches

Tantric 1 – 22 of 2 overs and a blinder caught at Covers.

Should be noted that Mouse consumed 3 jugs himself after his 3 ball marathon and was doing his best Hardon impersonation on the bus . We wanted to see the 5 minute piss but he took the high road and argued every fine sent his way.

Unfortunately Frisbee who backed up for the Business, dodged drinking from the box in both games, and was named by default as ‘ the business thought the leisure named him !’

He will need to perform this sacred duty at the next game .

Next game for Leisure is the Olympics Quiz Thursday 18th August at the Camel , then the D3 semi final on September 11 .