Bashers Cricket Club
Lumberjack Leisure Vs. Hot Dogs
A Disaster waiting to happen.
I shall leave all the boring technical stuff to others and start blaming the defeat to:
- The Beer Festival the night before
- Unacceptable Bus sharing with the opposing team on the way to the ground
- The Weather.
- Premature ejaculation (Heard on the field after 30 minutes: “It s a joke!!” – Loose. “It s a massacre at Dulwich!!” – The Jaguar)
- Bad Luck
- Angela Merkel (main reason)
That, I hope, clarified ,let me be straightforward in saying that:
Poor will be the opposing team facing the mighty Leisure Bashers next, as blood is now in the water an revenge must and will be taken.
REPORT CARDS
DAGS: 5.
Not in his usual competitive spirit. SOFT.
CRANKY: 4
Poor batting, big purchase of the year for the Leisure Team, the public expects more from him. AWOL
PARROT: 4
Poor wicket keeping. Poor batting, way below his standards. INATTENTIVE
SHITSHOES: 5
New shoes did improve his style but not his cricket performance. PART IMPROVING
THE MULE: 5
The future of the Bashers got caught in a poor performance by the team. Let’s hope he gets tired of eating lemons during the fines sessions. LEMONS LOVER(??)
LATEX: 5
Despite the British like weather, he failed to impress. MISTY
TANTRIC: 5
Few waltzer’ style turns while fielding but under average batting. Probably not recovered from Man City league winning celebrations. STRAINED
LOOSE: 4
Another column of the team that failed to deliver. UNSATISFACTORY
PUBERTY: 5
Did his homework right, but that was not enough today. UNAGRESSIVE
WOODSTOCK: 7
Today only pleasant note on the field. Historical, beautiful fielding. Superb style. A MODEL
THE JAGUAR: 5
Average fielding, too late involved in batting. A PARKED FERRARI
THE JAGUAR AT SQUARE LEG: 9
Considering I did not know why I was there, what I was supposed to do and what I had to watch. IMPRESSIVE
FINE SESSION: 10
Leisure fine sessions are ALWAYS the best.
POST FINES SESSION: 10
2012 Division Three
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 384
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
Warning: A non-numeric value encountered in /home/tjcmuyah/public_html/bashers/blog/wp-content/plugins/versus/versus.php on line 385
| Monday 21 May 2012 | P | W | D | L | F | A | P |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bashers Leisure | 5 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 699 | 643 | 16 |
| DPR Hot Dogs | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 575 | 427 | 16 |
| Pudong DT | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 488 | 394 | 12 |
| Pudong D&L | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 273 | 414 | 6 |
| Daredevils CC | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 406 | 396 | 4 |
| Dulwich Knights | 8 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 675 | 842 | 2 |
Myself and The Parrot , outside of The Camel, took advantage of a professional photo shooting and got invited to a Chinese wedding (I think).
Sledges
Sledge
You must be logged in to post a comment.
outstanding report Jaguar - far better than the result of the game would have suggested...
What was the result.... I was so impressed by the Jaguar lumberjack it didnt matter in the end !!!!
Deary me! What a shmozzle of a morning! We had that game; if only...
Brilliant! First Birdshit and now this...The Leisure boys are showing the entire club how a Lumberjack should be written!
I know Latex was the one designated as 'MISTY', but I could definitely feel myself getting just a little bit misty reading over such fine literature. Top effort Jag
Imagine how good that was before being put through google translate
ehehehehe actually: I am against the use of technology in Art.
A fine judgement on all counts
Tell it like it is, Jaguar
great report mate!
In my search for lumberjacks with Bashers Honour Board performances, I found this gem. New Bashers take note how to write a lumberjack! Great work Jaguar!