Lumberjack – Leisure vs Dulwich 19th April 2015

An overcast Shanghai morning on Sunday, saw a resplendent Leisure team preparing for their 3^rd game of the season against Dulwich. Confidence was high after a resounding win the week before and the usual pre-game rituals of pies and beers on the bus helped this group of consummate sports men and women prepare in true Leisure style(Thanks Woody for another delicious selection of pastry goods).

Captain Dags, having won the toss as usual, decided that the damp outfield and overcast conditions would favour our bowlers and opted to field first. Hard On, who was the most sober that anyone has ever seen him due to his mum watching from the sidelines, opened the bowling, with Sharapova taking the 2^nd over. This deadly pace attack left a floundering Dulwich opening pair in all kinds of bother and failing to score many runs. The first wicket of the day fell with Dulwich on a mere 9 runs. Leisure looked to be cruising to another victory. Hard On and Sharapova continued to keep the bowling tidy for the first 10 overs and Hard On was rewarded with a birthday wicket. Things were looking good. However, by drinks the opposition had started to develop a good partnership, but confidence in the Leisure team was still high……. possibly a little too high.

After drinks, a series of fielding errors and dropped catches allowed the Dulwich batsmen to firmly gain the upper hand and establish a number of strong partnerships which saw no less than 3 Dulwich players retiring on 50. One piece of fielding of note was by Bullet (and I’m sure he won’t thank me for mentioning this) who took his first catch for the Bashers. The brilliance of his catch was matched only by the look of shock on his face when he realised that he had managed to hold on to the ball. Unfortunately this wasn’t enough to slow the runs of the Dulwich batsmen who ended their innings on 198 for 3 wickets.

Not to worry, as the captain pointed out we were a batting side, and we loved a run chase. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was do-able. Add this to the fact that the club president turned up with enough cucumber sarnies to feed an army and some much needed supplies in the form of a bottle of some pre-mixed bloody Mary and 3 bottles of scotch. A true pic-nic Bashers-style.

Leisure’s picnic supplies

Step up our opening pair of batsmen. The (yet to be named) Tampon and the birthday boy Hard On. In a brilliant move, designed to intimidate the opposition, Tampon decided that he would not wear his pads in the orthodox style, but opted for the “leg through the padding” approach. This worked and the Dulwich opening bowlers were clearly shaken,  allowing us to get a commanding score of 12 runs before the fall of the first wicket. After Hard On and Tampon’s wickets fell, Dags decided to bring out the big guns. With Spanner and Truffles at the crease the runs mounted quickly with a number of big sixes and fours and some of the biggest singles the club has ever seen.  At drinks, with only 2 wickets gone, we were looking good to get close to the target set by Dulwich.

Rather than an isotonic sports drink to refresh the two in-form batsmen, the club president, who was present in a supervisory role, decided that a shot of neat whisky was what the batsmen needed to help them.  The next over both wickets fell for no runs. All was not lost however, with Shit Shoes coming off an unbeaten 50 last week for the Business, confidence was high as he stepped out to the crease. This confidence was however misplaced as the quacking of a golden duck echoed round the pitch at Wellington, and Shitshoes returned bat under arm to receive his first fine of the day, a large measure of single malt from the club president’s personal supplies. The rest of the innings passed quickly with a number of cheap wickets falling for very few runs. Of note was Pillow’s first “at bat” for the bashers, muttering something about clearing first base and rounding home plate as he went out to bat. By the end of the innings we were just 96 runs short of the target set by Duwich with only Sharapova’s wicket remaining intact. 102 all out.

Bashers Leisure – before it got messy!

The customary fines session ensued included the naming of “Tampon”, who was unable to get his pads on properly. Having run out of beers, refreshments on the bus journey back consisted of neat whisky, and everyone trying their best not to offend Hard On’s mum. Back to the Camel then off to Kaiba, where it was decided that an impromptu back yard cricket session was needed to hone our cricketing skills. Needless to say, at the end of the day “cricket was the winner”.