Lumberjack Business vs Devils July 28th, 2013

Business faced a determined Devils on Sunday July 28th at the SRFC.

For once I was on time and as the taxi reached the end of Dongping Lu there was one of our main men Big Dazzler walking into the “all day” to load up on some fried food to get himself through the day.  This prematch snack is always part of Tubby’s preparation and I expected to see him inside also ordering.

Both teams needed a win and once again it was a scorcher with the toss certain to be crucial.  Captain “Filthy” knew for once he needed to win the toss so he asked for advice on the bus from Chitty, Dazzler and The Pope what to call,  “flower or one”.  Shandy wasn’t interetsed as he lay right across the back seat unconscious which was a concern for me.  Our best bat had obviously had a huge night and felt like I do most days.  I decided that I might as well get changed on the bus into my whites because if Filthy needed advice on what side of the coin to call in the toss then he was certain to lose it and we would be in the field,  thus the toss was really “moot” and he should have just told the Devils that we would field first like every game when the temp is over 35 !

What a week it had been though with the birth of two Royal Prince’s,  one named Prince George,  the other a little closer to the Bashers,  Prince Billy Austin.  Every member of the Business XI was either English or from a Commonwealth country, thus it was fitting that Prince Billy’s Father was in the lineup and Lord Stats would be a welcome addition back to the top of the order.

Tubby had failed a fitness test on his injured wrist practising tossing the evening before the game and informed the Skipper he was out.  Filthy in keeping with the week’s British theme decided he would make a phone call,  one he had never made before.  Inspired by James Bond 007 he called “M” and told her he needed to replace his big hitter Tubby.  Surprised by Filthy’s desperate phone call “M” ( alias Judy Dench )  gave his request priority and quickly decided that this mission was not one for 007.  “M” told Filthy that he needed the special talents of ‘Batspeed” and that this agent was currently working undercover in Shanghai under the name of “Post-op”.  With one phone call from “M” , problem solved and “Batspeed” was included in the Business XI.

As usual Dazzler and Paps opened the bowling.  Both men lacked their normal venom and spark failing to take any earlier wickets whilst conceding runs.  When asked on the bus home what his figures where Dazzler replied none for shitloads which wasn’t a great sign for Business.  Filthy had to turn to Chitty and his good self to try and take some wickets and restrict the scoring.  The Skipper got the first wicket caught by Chitty who had to pause his friendly chat with Jon Newton on the boudary to take a very good catch.  Chitty had been doing a lot of cricket practice at home in recent weeks with Young Billy Bang’s,  so all day he would be put in fielding positions to maximise his fine hands.  Chitty would then take the next wicket caught by fellow Aussie Poppy at mid-off to have the Devils 2 for plenty.

Filthy then made a double-change bringing on Shandy with his right-arm nude balls,  and the left-arm medium pace of Poppy to try and break the rapidly increasing partnership of opening bat Jonty and Sanjay.  Pope had been busy in the field throwing himself at everything which was inspiring considering the busy week he had in Brazil on religious duties.  Paps was consigned to the far boudary all day and later said he had sunstroke.  When asked why he didn’t wear a hat he said that would have only made him feel worse which raised the eyebrows of some, but it should be remembered he is an opening bowler and logic doesn’t always come easy to men who take the new ball.

Poppy finally got the breakthrough sucking in Sanjay to hole out to Chitty on the mid-off boundary even though he wanted him and the mid-on up.  You could sense some friction between Poppy and Filthy, after not getting a bowl the week before and only getting one over in his first game for the Bashers Poppy was pumped.  Poppy had a point to prove and would go on the be our best bowler for the day taking 3 for 35 from his 8 overs bowling well at the death.  Death looked to be written all over the face and body language of Korean who once again had to keep wickets in the heat for the fourth week in a row and having to field for Div 2 in the morning.  Huge effort from the Club Captain Korean who has had trouble getting out of bed on Monday and Tuesday mornings due to his keeping duties in the heat.  Would help if he could relax first but Filthy couldn’t toss anything currently.

The Devils made a healthy total of 217 with Jonty batting beautifully for his 87.  Poppy took 3 wickets to stick it up Filthy, Shandy bowled well taking 2 wickets, Filthy got a couple and Chitty bowled without luck for his one wicket.  Business needed 218 to win which was going to require one or two bats to do something very special.  Filthy didn’t seem to concerned as he knew he had the inform Shandy and his trump card “Batspeed”.  He then informed Lord Stats and Myself that we where opening much to my surprise as the opening partnership of Shandy and Stats had form.  This strange move led me to the conclusion that like Paps our Captain was also suffering from sunstroke that was clouding his decisions on the batting order.  I just hoped that he would quickly get Shandy and the dangerous “Batspeed” in as early as possible.

Dazzler and Myself quickly departed and one would think surely Shandy and Batspeed would be next.  Filthy’s sunstroke condition got worse and he sent Paps in at 4 despite his own sunstroke.  As always Paps did his best and stayed with Lord Stats for sometime.  They would be dismissed with Shandy and Poppy commencing a fightback in what would be a crucial partnership with 8 an over needed to win.  Filthy still didn’t seemed concerned and held back Batspeed until we needed 10 an over.  Batspeed couldn’t manage to rescue Business on debut.  Normally used to playing the starring role in all missions he was quite and seemed perplexed that his cover had been blown with Bashers players calling him “Post-op”.

Business had been bowled out for 113 in 32 overs and Filthy expected he would get a phone call from “M” to explain his batting order and result during the week.  Victory is a must next week for Business and let’s hope Batspeed is again in the line-up and batted up the order.

Genghis