2013 Awards

As presented over kebabs and beer at Kebabs on the Grille on Friday 22 November 2013.

• P.T. Barnum Award for There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute
  Max “Hot Head” Allwright
• Mark Waugh Award for Second Best Player In His Family
  Denzyl “Cranky” Allwright
• Willie Nelson Award for Most Fines
  Jack “Dags” Sheppard
• E.T. Award for Overstaying
  Kaylan “Sinbad” D’Silva
• Rocky Balboa Award for Comeback of the Year
  Channa “Made In” Phillip
• King Ludwig II Award for Protecting The Castle
  Ainsley “Pusher” Mann
• Marco Polo Award for Taking the Great Chinese Invention of Cricket Back to the Old World
  Alex “The Jaguar” Pezzani
• Nina kiu Tafadhali nataka bia baridi
  Kaylan “Sinbad” D’Silva
• Reverend Lovejoy Award for Dedication on Sundays
  Darren “Dazzler” Manning
• Peyton Manning Award for Having Babies Named After Him
  Jack “Dags” Sheppard
• Colonel Sanders Award for Counting Chickens Before They’re Hatched
  Glen “Growler” Rowell
• China Eastern Award for Punctuality
  Mei “Sharapova” Chunhua
• Oleg Gordievsky for Double Agent Award
  Phil “Filthy” Mildenhall
• Holly Hobbie Award for Quilting
  Irfan “Smurfy” Idrees
• Sir Edmund Hillary Award for Knocking the Bastard Off
  Phil “Shandy” Childs
• Paul Howard Award for Eating all the Pie
  Kevin “Cassius” Wright
• Fairy Godmother Award for Making Coaches Shrink
  Steve “The Toe” Cliff
• Sam “Mayday” Malone Award for Being Last to Leave the Bar
  Sean “The Korean” Malcon
• iPhone 5S Award for being Hard to Get
  Stephen “Tantric” Bradley
• George Bradshaw Award for Scheduling
  Sam “Swahili” Finnerty
• Joh Bjelke-Petersen Award for being a QUEENSLANDER!
  Jake “Spanky” Anderson
• Tele Savalas Hairstyle Award
  Thisura “Dot” Wijepala
• George Remus Award for Bootlegging
  Mik “Sicknote” Pathi
• Greta Garbo Award for Great Legs
  Tom “Latex” Ash
• Cookie Monster Award for Eating Cake
  Jackie “Smoochie” Lindsen
• Jimmy Page Award for Best Solo Performance
  Paul “Shrek” Turner
• Charlie Chaplin Award for being the Biggest Hobo
  Andy “Tank” Scott
• NY Yankees Award for Recruiting
  Justyn “Scooby” Field
• Alfred Zehden Award for Anti-Magnetism
  Dave “Peking” Tacon
• Richard Simmons Award for Short Shorts, Socks & Sandels
  Adam “Post Op” Baker
• Lionel Richie Award for Going All Night Long
  Sameer “Paps” Jolly
• David Hasselhof Award for Best Performance in a Non-Acting Role
  Ben “Pope Benedict CXCV” Collins
• Meryl Streep for Best Supporting Actress
  Chris “Lunchcutter” Wade
• Arnold Schwarzenegger Award for Going Commando
  Alex “Fruitbox” Brown
• Abebe Bikila Award for Stamina
  Shaun “Golden Shears” Lear
• Free Willy Award for Esky Riding
  Paul “Woodstock” Howard
• Elton John Award for Having Parties We’re Not Invited To
  Mal “Omega” Collins
• Hugh Hefner Award for Contributions to the Porn Industry
  Oli “Hustler” Wilson
• Eric Moussambani Award for Getting to the Finish Line
  Simon “Pigu” Dixon
• Bart Cummings Award for Backing a Winner
  Norman “Mouse” Lau
• Sly Dunbar Award for Rhythm
  Ian “JR” Rowell
• WD-40 Award for Unintended Use of Kit
  Neal “Birdshit” Watkins
• The Common Cold Award for Going Viral
  Andy “Tank” Scott
• Casey Kasem Award for Worst Music
  Denzyl “Cranky” Allwright
• Julia Childs Award for Catering
  Desmond “Long Dong” deSilva
• Michael Jordan Award of Player of the Year in Another Sport
  Mike “Tubby” Hall
• Hans Christian Andersen Award for Fairy Stories
  Simon “Genghis” Pendergast
• Fernand Petiot Award for Relentless Hangover Cure Research
  Adam “Spanner” O‘Brien
• Usain Bolt Award for Best Victory Celebration
  Travis “Swoop” Weir
• Mrs. Doubtfire Award for Mother of the Year
  Ollie “Stats” Austin
• Paula Abdul Award for Cheerleader of the Year
  Michael “Prancer” Vertuli
• John Wayne Bobbit Award for Scoring With An Injured Appendage
  Tim “Tiny” O’Connell
• Fidel Castro Award for Upsetting the Anti-Basher
  Jen “Inky” O’Connell
• Quade Cooper Award for Choking
  Bashers Business
• Geoff Hurst Award for being a Hat Trick Hero
  Paul “Shrek” Turner and Ben “Pope Benedict CXCV” Collins
• Rosa Parks Award for Bus Tourist of the Year
  Jenny “Peecup” Soriano
• Roger Federer Award for Best Website Returns
  Ollie “Stats” Austin
• Prince George of Cambridge for Newcomer of the Year
  Steve “Poppy” Field
• Pamela Anderson Award for Most Improved
  Mark “Shit Shoes” Henwood
• Bart Simpson Award for Sledging
  Richard “Parrot” Yates
• Alessandro Pezzani Award for Best Dressed
  The Legends
• Geisha of the Year
  John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol
• Tourist of the Year
  Manoj “à Trois” Zalpuri
• Indoor Player of the Year
  Mark “Shit Shoes” Henwood
• Pleasure Fielder of the Year
  Ben “Pope Benedict CXCV” Collins
• Pleasure Bowler of the Year
  Mark “Shit Shoes” Henwood
• Pleasure Batsman of the Year
  Adam “Post Op” Baker
• Business Batsman of the Year
  Phil “Shandy” Childs
• Business Fielder of the Year
  Mike “Tubby” Hall
• Leisure Bowler of the Year
  Bavi “Satchel” Jain
• Leisure Batsman of the Year
  Simon “Pigu” Dixon
• Qin Shi Huang Award for Leisure Fielder of the Year
  Justyn “Scooby” Field
• Captain’s Award for Player of the Year
  Jeff “Hollywood” James
• President’s Award for Basher of the Year
  Sean “The Korean” Malcon
• Bashers Legend
  Tom “Latex” Ash