Bashers Game Report [Twenty 20] – May 25th v Hotdogs

After a 5 week hibernation, the Bashers Twenty 20 side pounced like a hungry Javan Rhinoceros on the hapless Hotdogs to claim a well deserved 1 run victory. Having been forced to bat as a result of a last minute schedule change by the Anti Basher, Loosey Deano and Professor Thomas strutted to the middle of the BISS field amid cheers from Bashers faithful [1 – Hamish] and a few jeers [Hotdog supporters: yes; all 3 of them].

Playing on the newly laid Lego pitch, the new ball was to test the Bashers top order [4 of us the rest were still on the bus drinking half way to the ground], with Professor getting a golden duck, being caught behind after trying to swat a pie down legside. Loosey was soon to go in what has been unanimously heralded as the “Decision of the Century”, LBW to a floater 2 metres down leg side. In true Bashers spirit, the gracious skipper walked but not before offering the umpire a few choice words of advice, backed up by Hammer who was lucky not to have been snotted by the bowler. After a shaky start a cool head was called for so we headed to the bus for a few beers…

But meanwhile, Hammer and Andrew Gardiner were smacking the leather off the ball to all corners of the ground. Air raid sirens were blazing as a rain of 6’s was dished up by Andy, looking the goods in his bright green shirt. Not long after the ship had been settled, Andy G was gone for 30 odd, and Hamish not long after for a similar score. Andy S was in next, and was a picture of batting technique, but was gone to a top edge after a gritty display. Heff Henshaw was in next, and broke the midwicket fielders ankle in a cracking slog shot, one of the highlights of the day. Hope he had insurance. He was gone soon after, and in came Zeb and Vikram, carving the hapless opposition up like a warm knife through soft butter. Yummy!

170 or there about was the target set by Bashers, and after a few cleansing beers the boys ambled back out into the centre to kick off round 2. Hamish and Lee opened the bowling, and what a display these guys put on. Hamish got the opener, and after the guy didn’t want to walk, told him in no uncertain terms where the change rooms were, and how to get there. I’ll leave the rest up to you!

Wickets started falling like Captain Cranky’s hair as the bowling attack stepped up a notch. The Ball Magnet Steve was like an African gazelle, leaping and bounding, letting through more balls than he stopped, but hey, what an effort! Here’s The Ting Alan out in the deep looked a picture in his white get up, and did a great job at keeping the run rate down. Justbeer Mat was all grace at third man, and did a super duper job behind the stumps in the latter half of the tussle.

But dark clouds began to form as the bowling attack started to bowl wide after wide after bloody wide: Skipper didn’t do a lot with the pill, so on came Zeb. AND WHAT A STROKE OF GENIUS as Zeb cleaned bowled the guy first ball!!! Andrew G was solid, and Andy S looked the goods and showed classic determination in his sizzling spell!

With 2 overs left, the Hotdogs only need 20 odd! WHAT HAPPENED!?? The Professor, suffering the effects of his 19th beer started bowling pies and the run chase was down to less than a run a ball in the last over. On came Zeb: could this debutante pull a rabbit out of his helmet and produce a surprise victory??? First ball “WIDE!” Tears of sorrow from the Bashers faithful started to flow [Bashers Faithful = Andre put 1000 RMB on us winning]

Only a few runs needed. The crowd sat mesmerized as the skipper barked orders at his troops like an agitated pensioner on benefits day. Yes: Zeb, in his last act of class cleans bowls the batting muppet and WE HAVE IT, Bashers Twenty20 remain undefeated!!!

ell done all round! I think I need a lie down now.

See you Sunday

Skipper Loosey, LXXXVII