Match Report: Leisure v Devils DUI, 10 July 2011

So Stiffy’s working hand had come off second best against a far more sober wall, and he was well and truly out. (What is it with these insurance agents? Parrot could explode any minute and make the trifecta.) Under the Leisure by-laws, 12th man Pusher then got into the squad as captain, a position he was to lose, regain and lose before a ball was bowled at the balmy Dulwich ground.

Birdshit is captain now and it’s a great day for cricket. Good energy all round… and everyone had their cricket caps on. The team was complete as Sharapova arrived in the nick of time to conduct warm-ups. Full credit to Latex leading last week’s, but that man can really overwork a groin. Loose was chomping at the bit and wouldn’t touch the bus booze on account of “dry-July” rehab. New comers Callgirl and Twiggy squeezed into some new kit and we hit the field.

25 overs later and Ganja stood out as the pick of the bowlers. On target and threatening from the start, he had come on late but quickly put a damper on the Devils’ scoring with a maiden start to a tight spell. Birdshit used 9 bowlers in an attempt to penetrate; Latex got his curve balls working to remove two of the opposition and nearly a third if Woodstock had stuck one. Loose took up where he left off last week with a stunning line and genuine pace. Birdshit got one to sky to the infield, MeiHua layed down a stream of good line and length, Dags put foward the best appeal of the day with a pose that looked like Buddha taking a dump, Callgirl targeted the leg stump with hostility, and Woodstock kept fighting off 30-foot high purple monsters somewhere in his demented concept of “corridor of uncertainty.” Notable fielding performances included Callgirl getting down on everything..and fast. Great keeping from A Trois with a stumping and a huge variety of bowling talent to stop, and Dags with a finger crunching mark in front of the posts to skillfully avoid taking a sizzler.

The target of 167 was manageable and we had knocked off five of them in the process. Enter the batsmen.

Bloody hell. Where was the The Mouse?? In the absence of the Leisure anchorman, we didn’t have enough weight.

Performer of the day was Manoj “A Trois”.. absolutely sparkling innings of 31, with a wagon wheel that looked like a wagonwheel. Entertaining display of batting prowess. Loose was a picture of concentration in the Baggy Blue and built a respectable 28 as he attempted to continue the middle order recovery.

While the rest of us didn’t really get beyond a good-looking start, there was plenty of sparkling form around. Scoobie took to the bowlers with his new bat and clipped a few very neatly. You couldn’t wipe the smile off Sharapova’s face as she drove a half-volley over the top of the field and within inches of the long on boundary. Twiggy valiantly gave up his wicket to nurse a hammy done in by pure running aggression. Callgirl and Latex started out fast in the hunt, and Woodstock discovered a shot called the leg glance. Pusher and Birdshit closed out the innings with their now traditional display of classic strokes, but together we finished a few dozen runs short of the necessary.

Big thanks to Pusher for umpiring most of the session, and Dags for scoring with a broken hand. And good one Birdshit for the chilled watermelon, and whatever that gaffer tape thing on the esky is. And good on yuz Leisure for getting out in force and getting into some ripping cricket. We’ll have a spell this weekend and come out blazing!

Devils DUI 5-167
Ganja 0-6
Latex 2-6

Basher’s Leisure 126
A Trois 31
Loose 28

• Sunday 10 July 2011 Dulwich College
  Devils DUI 166/7 (7.66)
  Bashers Leisure 126/10 (2.66)

2011 Division Three