Business vs K2 Lumberjack, May 15th 2011

May 15th, Business vs K2 Lumberjack Report

(First up an apology to those that have to work on Mondays and don’t have time to read the entirety of this report. I don’t work on Mondays (or any other days really) so this will be a long one.)

On another beautiful Shanghai early summer’s morning the Business, fresh off an historic victory over the Dogs, set out to Dulwich College to take on the undeafeted K2. Tank had come into the Business side for this game as Sir Dick was having some R&R in Hong Kong. Business had a proud record of four consecutive victories over K2, including the 2009 Final, since their loss to them in their inaugural match in early 2009. We had their number, or so we thought…..

By 12.00 the sun was baking down on the slightly unusually shaped Dulwich College field. “Slice” corner was undergoing some construction to install a long jump track apparently, so bowling was restricted to the Dulwich College End and short fine leg was on the boundary, almost inside the circle.
With the temperature soaring the toss was going to be crucial. In what was to be his last toss as Business Skipper Stats came up trumps and immediately inserted the K2 behemoths into the field. Victory assured. Or so we thought…..

Fresh off posting over 200 against the Dogs the Business batting line up was in confident mood. The openers, Dipso and Oscar, saw off the accurate but unthreatening spells of the K2 opening bowlers with relative ease. At 26/0 after 8 overs the Business were looking a little slow but very solid.
In an uncharacteristic rush off blood Oscar abandoned his bread and butter nurdle to fine leg and produced an aggressive, attempted cut to a short of a length delivery outside off and feathered it through to the keeper.
29/1 and in walks Dazzler who, despite his reputation and undeniable talent, had yet to produce the goods for the Business. Was this to be the day the shackles were broken? Things certianly looked good with Dipso and Dazzler pushing the singles with ease, turning ones into twos against the lethargic K2 fielding. Dipso even found enough time to dipsatch the bowling for 6 over mid-wicket before missing a straight one, providing more evidence to Stat’s motto that “Good batsmen don’t get bowled”. Dipso, a model of consistency, had scored his standard 20 odd and felt like a bit of shopping at Decathlon with the wife, so he buggered off.

74/2 after 15 and his HRH the King of the SCC (Stats) joined the settled Dazzler at the crease. A period of accumulation was required to set up the innings for Business so HRH hit a long hop down deep backward square legs throat off his third ball, good shot that! Fortunately this is K2 and it went predictably to ground. The pair then set about scoring with relative ease with Dazzler in particular really hitting his straps, twice depositing some fruit over the midwicket boundary. Into the flustered forties and looking good for a well deserved 50 until Cranky shot him down. LBW for the second week running and the Business 147 – 3 after 25 overs. Dazzler a well compiled 45 off 47 balls.

Enter Judas aka Cassius, apparently fresh from a beating at the hands of his ‘girl’friend (TBC) the night before. Some aggressive running and outfield muppetry meant a quick fire partnership of 32 before HRH categorically confirmed that “Good batsmen don’t get bowled” and the Business were 179/4 after 30 overs. Filthy, promoted to 6 and clearly still drunk (obviously not on booze) on the previous games success came out swinging (badly). A few edges later and with Judas’s ‘run ‘ard’ still ringing in his well-endowed ears he’d reached double figures. Soon after he was out charging and missing a Shafqat a delivery and was ‘run out’ by a slow lob from the keeper. 214/5 off 34 overs. At this point it should be noted that Judas was really struggling with the heat (possibly from the two helmets he was wearing). A couple of dry retches later and he was ready to go alongside the prickly looking Hedgehog. With wickets in hand the slog was on. A 35 run partnership at a run a ball before Judas was caught behind for an impressive 47 off just 36 balls. His innings making it a total of six 40+ scores for the Business this season without anyone getting to 50!

Hedgehog followed Judas back to the pavilion almost immediately having smashed his 26 off only 20 balls, 251/7 with two overs remaining. Paps (9*) and Cranky (7*) added a final flurry at more than a run a ball. Five partnerships of 29+ including a key 75 run partnership for the third wicket saw the Business end their innings at 266/7, their highest batting score in the last three seasons. Game in the bag at halftime or so we thought…..

The feeling was that after 40 overs in the field the K2 guys would be exhausted and easy to pick off. All we needed was a calm bowling performance and a disciplined fielding effort. We certainly didn’t get it. Cranky started where we left off from the previous game (6 overs 1 maiden 8 runs for 4 wickets vs The Dogs) with 4 steady, accurate opening overs. Dazzler, the same, with just the odd wide and perhaps one bad ball an over being picked off by the K2 batsmen. I use the term batsmen reluctantly as what we bore witness to was some off the ugliest heaves I’ve seen since the Castle Street keg race back in ’99. Dazzler managed to knock back the off stump of the K2 opener in his three over spell and K2 were 35/1 after 7.

Filthy and Hedgehog came onto relieve the openers. The ‘batsmen’ , possibly playing with their eyes closed, took to the erratic line and length on offer from the first change bowlers and took a comfortable 50 over the next 8 overs. Both the bowling and the fielding becoming pretty shoddy by this point. Dipso dropped a skier at long on and Tank hared in from the boundary, opened his legs and let the ball roll through them for four at backward square leg. But more than anything was a growing sense of frustration with the village shots that kept landing just out of reach. Very reminiscent of the first up loss to K2 in 2009. Would history repeat itself?

Wisely HRH had kept back the Business trump card, the inscrutable John “Inquisition” L’Epagniol who was fresh from giving ‘bowling action advice’ to a lady friend of his. I kid you not, he who bowls with one arm gave detailed bio-mechanical and technical advice to an admittedly confused looking companion. But as we all know looks can be deceiving and the numbers do not lie and once again Inquisition produced the goods as he tempted K2’s first drop to thrash a slightly short of a length delivery into orbit above mid wicket. A sprightly looking Dipso danced 30.5 metres around the boundary and kept hold of the tough chance just inside the rope. A key wicket and the Business comfortably on top. Drinks were taken at 120/2 after 20 overs, K2 needing over 7 an over with 8 wickets in hand. The drinks break provided respite for the Business from the scorching heat, but also broke the concentration of the K2 opening slugger who after a hideous 50 was out two balls after the break, caught Hedgehog at first slip, bowled Inquistion. Settled batsmen gone, win assured or so we thought….

The next ten overs were truly rubbish. Ollie, Tank and Filthy were visibly and audbily upset at the continued abject nature of their own and the Business’ performance in the field and the rural nature of the runs being conceded. In no particular order: Leppa dropped an absolutely stunning one handed diving screamer at slip. Hedgehog kicked the ball over the boundary. Oscar spent as much time rolling around on the ground as he possible could, admittedly with often excellent results. Judas let through an unprecedented number of byes (6?) which of course he debated furiously after the game and Paps dropped the first of his catches at mid on. Dipso was brought into the attack to take some more pace off the ball only to be savaged for almost 40 off his four overs. He missed the chance of a wicket to his name when Paps dropped his second catch but fortunately the wicket was secured when Filthy returned the ball to Dipso at the bowlers end to find the batsmen short attempting a second run. The fall of the fourth wicket brought in the K2 man mountain wicketkeeper, occasionally seen on the Basherscc.org blog as ‘lovely’ to the crease. Business’ own man mountain, Cranky, was about the only member to come through the fielding performance unscathed as he prowled the legside in ominous fashion. Including taking a good catch to dismiss the K2 captain Meer on the sqaure leg boundary to give Leppa his third wicket and see the K2 to 190 – 5 off 29 overs. 77 needed off 11 overs.

Back into the attack came the South African strike force of Cranky and Hedgehog to contend with the curly haired Shafqat who had come to the wicket on the back of his 120 off 60 balls against the Devils! This was to be the defining period of the match. Business needed a good spell from both their frontline speedsters and they delivered. A number of tight overs followed (with the exception of one Hedgehog over going for 17, including a mammoth 6 to Shafqat hooking a bouncer off his nose). The fielding improved as Paps in particular threw himslef around making a number of great stops including a one handed dive away to his left off crisp cover drive. But what the Business really needed was a wicket and Cranky delivered as ‘lovely’ skied the ball to Filthy on the cover boundary. Big wicket and Business perhaps edging ahead again. 53 needed off 7 with 4 wickets in hand.

What happened next was almost indescribable. In an effort to get Madein promoted to Business on the strength of his fielding alone Dipso managed to put down a lolly at point. In a vain attempt at self preservation from unlimited fines he claimed that the new batsmen should be kept on strike and the dangerous Shafqat at the other end. In reality Mayla would’ve caught what her father couldn’t. Fortunately Cranky added another scalp with good length delivery knocking over the stumps and Judas took the key wicket of Shafqat running forward then diving backwards to make a simple catch look difficult off a Hedgehog full toss.

Almost the game in the bag with his dismissal and Filthy was handed the ball with 17 runs needed off the the final over with two wickets in hand, Hedgehog’s 17 run over very, very fresh in the bowlers mind. A thick edge to third man should’ve been one but for Dazzler over running the spinning ball, leaving 15 required of 5. The next ball was sent skyward to mid on where Paps circled it, I hesitate to say confidently, and was put down only for him to scoop it up quickly and hit the one stump he could see driectly from side on to effect the run out as the batsmen tried to complete the second run. Outstanding recovery in the field and K2 needed 14 off 4 with 1 wicket in hand. The next ball was sent skyward again, this time to long off where Tank was still wandering to his position with his back to the action. With a little verbal motivation from his teammates he quickly spun, hurtled in, only to fall just short of the ball as it thudded into the earth. But with more than the 3 needed per ball the K2 batsmen had little choice but to take on Tank’s arm for a suicidal second run. A good return to Filthy at the bowlers end was enough to effect the run out and give the Business a hard fought victory by 12 runs.

• Sunday 15 May 2011 Dulwich College
  K2 CCC 254/10 (3.94)
  Bashers Business 266/7 (8.66)

A tough but important victory for the Business. A real team effort with both bat and ball, where everyone contributed something substantial without being able to win the game single handedly. A good win to get, especially as we played far from our best in the field. Business showed some character to stay tough and win the tight game. Business now with 2 – 1 record.

2011 Division One

Dipso 29 (52), 0/45 off 4
Oscar 9 (18)
Dazzler 45 (47), 1/30 off 3
Stats 42 (45)
Judas 47 (36)
Filthy 10 (12), 0/29 off 4.3
Hedgehog 26 (20), 1/50 off 8
Paps 9 (7), 0/30 off 4
Cranky 7 (5), 2/30 off 8
Leppa 3/45 off 8
Tank – covered about 120km at slightly faster than the speed of light