Lumberjack – Pleasure v Pudong Power – Aug 29, 2010

How would you feel if you shagged Pamela Anderson, then you found out she has hepatitis?

If you are Circus, no worries! But for the rest of us, there would be a mixture of emotions; satisfaction would become anxiety, boasting would accompany ridicule, spraying your load like a fireman on his first day at work would be a distant memory replaced by a penis that is slowly falling off as you urinate a cheese like substance that can only be found on a 6 month old (***** name withheld) pie and/or sausage roll.

What the f*ck am I talking about? Well…

Pam Anderson has great tatas and hepatitis, we ate some dodgy pies and The Pleasure tied with Pudong.

The day started, as usual, with the greatest cricket team in the world converging on the greatest sports bar in the world (free drink Bada), at the worst time ever, 7am. The bus was there before most of us, the Dragon Club prozzies were there before the bus, and apparently the pies were there before the dawn of man. So, after Pitstop gave the Dragon Club cheer squad each a pat on the arse and kiss, we were off to SRFC.

The bus ride was mainly uneventful… bar the food poisoning scare, the fact we needed a quantum mechanist to figure out what we needed to do to get into the finals, and that the last 200m of the journey took as long as the first 15km. A driveway anyone?

But, the esky was full, the weather was ok, and the Pleasure was ready to rock… minus Rock, replaced in the team by Korean.

Tank lost the toss, we were put into field, and the algorithm for winning was dumbed down for all Superninjas in attendance; don’t bowl wides, get them out, don’t lose 5 wickets, and win the game. That’s what we always do.

Dazza and Number1 Shrek Terror opened the bowling, and with the ball swinging more than Swahili (SUPERNINJA) does at a taxi driver, the Pudong openers could not get near it. The first, second and third times they did, it was thick-edged to Korean off the bowling of Numero Uno. Swahili (SUPERNINJA) chimed in, knocking over the castle twice, one being the prized scalp of Kapabelly for 1. Longdong gave the ‘Hiho DeSilva Away’ to three of the batsmen, 1 bowled, and catches by Pothole and Tank, without a mitt. Swoop (SUPERNINJA) dropped a catch, but then redeemed himself (or so we thought) with a laser like throw-in to Swahili (SUPERNINJA) who superninja’d the bails and sent the batsmen out, smokebomb style, before they could get back for the second. Then, in a reminder to Filthy why we don’t need fielding practice at training, or to be at training at all for that matter, Shrek displayed an abundance of basheresqueness, to misfield, run it down, pivot on the spot, and knock down the one stump he could see, all from a distance he quoted later that night at the Camel to be at least 600m. A season low 24 extras conceded, all out for 146. Go Bashers!

Pothole and Pitstop opened the batting and got off to the start we needed, slow and steady. But, in the third over we lost Pothole, and then the wickets fell regularly with Dazzler (say it aint so), Badabing, Omega, Pitstop and Swahili (SUPERNINJA) losing their wickets. Shrek, seeing that Swoop (SUPERNINJA) did not get his nickname from scoring quickly with the bat, went the tonk. A 44 run partnership was followed once again by the regular fall of wickets of Shrek, Tank, Swoop (SUPERNINJA), to leave us in the trusty hands of Korean and Longdong. The Dong slashed a square cut that if the SRFC had prepared the outfield properly, would have gone for four. Two runs and the scores were level with eight balls to go. Dong slashes the same brilliant shot again……only for the gully to take the biggest load of fluky, how the f*ck did he catch that, lucky c*nt, eat sh*t catch anyone has seen. All out for 146.

• Sunday 29 August 2010 SRFC East
  Bashers Pleasure 146/10 (5.46)
  Pudong Power 146/10 (5.46)

Tumbleweeds blew across the SRFC and pins thundered to the ground as we shook hands with the Power……then we left the kit for the Business, got on the bus with the esky and got amongst it.

So we played a washout game, that was originally a draw, and replaced it with a tie……Bashers!

No we wait and see if we can somehow backdoor our way into (Pam Anderson) the finals.

2010 Santa Fe Championship

Pies anyone?

Batting:

• Extras 36
• Turner 35
• Weir 16
• Collins 15
• Yee 14
• Malcon 13*

Bowling:

• DeSilva 3/26 (6)
• Turner 3/31 (6)
• Finnerty 2/30 (6)