Leisure vs Devils Lumberjack report

The highs and lows of cricket in Shanghai could not be better embodied than the plight of the Leisure Bashers. The ecstasy and euphoria from a thumping 10 wicket victory over Dulwich the week before was followed by the devastation and empty feeling of a 100 odd run loss to the Devils. We blame Paul “Terror” Turner and Garth “Shania” Muncy for their no show.

The game started off so promising with the Devil’s openers taking on Filthy (probably because he was so thin and blended in with the Coca Cola signage) in the covers and the non-striker being sent run out without facing a ball. A call worthy of being made by Made In. The hapless run caller then almost ran out his new team mate again, and we considered keeping the guy in so he could run out his team. But alas, he didn’t last the devastating over being delivered by Long Dong. 2 for bugger all at the end of the first over.

Birdshit planted the seeds in Loosey’s mind that Made In should open the bowling. And hence Made In had to open the bowling with his fruit salad deliveries. While the batsmen were caning Made In around, Long Dong was keeping the other end tight as a nun’s c***. Fortunately for the Bashers, the Devils couldn’t tell the difference between Made In’s pineapple deliveries and a hand grenade, and paid the price with 3 wickets. Catch at deep square leg to Filthy and two LBWs.

This only seemed to bring the best Devil’s batsmen to the crease as quite clearly their top order was rubbish. Tight bowling from the Pusher and Loose kept the pressure on, and the Korean added to the Devil’s woes with a run out after shoving Made In away in the field. Somehow, they ended up with 170 something. Easy peasy for a brilliant chasing team such as the Leisure Bashers.

The first few overs were hostile and the openers, Pusher and Parrot, were weathering the storm. After constant sledging, the Parrot was caught plumb LBW, which was obvious to all except the umpire, Birdshit, because the bowler was standing right in front of him and blocking his view. A tactic popular with the Devil’s team to block the umpire’s view of their constant wides. They eventually had the Parrot LBW for a well made 17 or something. Which brought Made In to the crease, and followed up his best bowling with a crisp offside drive off his first ball for a run.
The Pusher was soon caught in the slip cordon (which was about 5 Devil’s randomly distributed in the area) which started the infamous Basher collapse. Long Dong missed a good delivery flighted into his pads and got cleaned bowled by Mr Run out without facing. Made In followed in exactly the same fashion 3 balls later, and then Latex Gary Glitter gave the slip cordon some catching practice. 3 wickets in one over. Despite some resilient batting from the Korean and Loosey, the Devil’s ran thorough the lineup, leaving Birdshit stranded for another 0 not out.

Performance of note:
The Jaguar – Man of the Match for his brilliance in the field and providing the most frustration with the bat for the Devils.
Filthy – True to his name, diving everywhere to give Squeaky plenty of laundry to do. In the process dropping a whole bunch of catches which we expected Business players to take. (Leisure players wouldn’t have gotten close)
Made In – 3 wicket haul and convincing appealing causing the Devil’s to pull their umpire.
The Korean – Desperate fielding and saving a whole load of runs
Pusher/Parrot/Loose – Scoring double figures with the bat
Latex – Dropped catch after showing up in a taxi