Bashers Leisure v Bulldogs

28 June 2026 – Victory… eventually!

Bashers 168-8 (20 overs)

Bulldogs 156 all out (19.3 overs)

Bashers won by 12 runs

A Nervous Start… Before a Ball Was Bowled

Sunday morning’s clash against the Bulldogs began with the Bashers arriving in good time, winning the toss and electing to bat.

Everything was ready.

Except the umpire.

With Muneeb nowhere to be seen, an uneasy silence descended over NAIS. Players warmed up, discussed contingency plans and generally wondered whether someone was about to be volunteered to stand at square leg armed with little more than blind optimism and an outdated knowledge of the Laws of Cricket.

Thankfully, just before panic began to set in, Muneeb finally arrived and play eventually got underway at the rather unconventional time of 9:25am.

Bashers Innings

DRS and Cracker strode to the middle looking every bit as confident as two men who had just survived a fifteen-minute umpire delay.

Sadly, confidence doesn’t always translate into runs.

DRS was the first to depart, managing to spend less time at the crease than Muneeb had spent locating the ground. Fling soon followed, registering what statisticians politely refer to as a second baller. Ever the optimist, Fling insisted afterwards that he’d played exactly the right shot—it was just unfortunate that the bat neglected to make contact with the ball.

When Cracker and Josey Wales also departed, the Bashers found themselves wobbling at 42-4 after 7.1 overs.

The run rate wasn’t the problem.

The wickets were.

Fortunately, one thing the Bashers weren’t short of—at least on paper—was batting.

Walking to the crease came the man with no name, still shamefully without an official Basher nom de plume, alongside Soapy.

The pair sensibly rebuilt. After nine overs the score had crept to 59-4, with no panic and no unnecessary risks.

Then came the tenth over.

The man with no name decided enough rebuilding had been done and deposited two huge sixes into the Shanghai skyline, lifting the Bashers to 76-4 at the halfway stage.

Momentum.

At last.

The partnership was broken in the 11th over when Soapy attempted one of his trademark cross-batted swipes towards deep midwicket, somehow managing to send the ball instead towards deep cover point. Even the Bulldogs fielders looked slightly confused.

Korean arrived and immediately recognised his role.

While one end supplied the fireworks, Korean quietly pinched singles, turned ones into twos and politely punished anything that wandered into his postcode.

After fourteen overs the Bashers had reached 97-5.

Respectable.

But not yet enough.

That was when the Bulldogs captain decided to bowl himself.

Having watched him warming up beforehand, there was a feeling he might provide something different.

He certainly did.

The over went as follows:

nb, nb, 4, 6, dot, wd, 4, wd, wd, wd, 4, 4

Twenty-eight runs later, the Bashers had received exactly the injection of K-rate they had been craving.

With the score on 144, the man with no name attempted one more trip into the neighbouring postcode before finally finding a fielder.

He departed to warm applause after a magnificent 60 from just 33 balls, including 5 fours and 5 sixes, scoring at a thoroughly Bashers-approved K-rate of 181.82.

His only remaining task now is to earn himself an official Basher nickname.

Bunga Bunga arrived for what will sadly be his last appearance for a few weeks. While the scoring rate naturally dipped, he and Korean kept the innings moving before Bunga was caught, bringing Sasquatch to the crease.

Korean’s innings eventually ended in appropriately Bashers fashion.

Sensing a quick second run on the final ball of the 19th over, he immediately set off. Unfortunately, what his mind instructed his legs to do and what his legs were physically capable of doing turned out to be two entirely different things.

Run out.

Focus joined Sasquatch for the final over and the pair negotiated it without unnecessary drama, closing the innings on a highly respectable 168-8.

Considering the Bashers had been 42-4, it represented an outstanding recovery.

Top scorer was the man with no name with 60.

As usual, Extras was second highest scorer with 32.

Bulldogs Chase

Defending 168 was never going to be easy.

The new ball was entrusted to Bunga Bunga and Vader, but not before Focus delivered one very clear tactical briefing.

Do not bowl on Devon Bruce’s legs.

Years of careful observation had revealed that while Devon possessed an impressive range of shots, almost every one of them somehow finished somewhere between deep square leg and deep midwicket.

The field was set accordingly.

The tactical masterpiece lasted exactly one ball.

Devon’s first delivery sailed high into the air…

Directly…

And I mean directly…

…towards Fling.

Presented with the simplest opportunity imaginable to justify the captain’s field placing, Fling naturally shelled the catch. The ball bounced obligingly over the boundary rope for four.

Exactly as seasoned Bashers observers expected.

Not exactly as planned.

Two dot balls followed before another ball drifted onto Devon’s legs and disappeared to deep square leg.

The over finished with another six over deep midwicket.

16-0 after one over.

If the first over had explored one method of giving runs away, the second explored several others.

Vader began with two wides, a no-ball and a single before rescuing matters by dismissing Prashant Kumar Kalwani with the final ball, comfortably caught by Soapy at midwicket.

After three overs apiece from Bunga and Vader, the Bulldogs had reached 56-1 after six overs.

Comfortably on course.

The first bowling change brought Focus into the attack.

Second ball.

Huge LBW appeal.

No review required—not even from our own DRS.

The finger went up.

Devon Bruce, however, remained.

Next came Soapy, whose first three deliveries were impeccable dot balls. Quiet whispers of “Why didn’t we bring him on earlier?” could almost be heard around the ground.

Normal Bashers service was soon resumed.

A wide followed before the last ball disappeared for six.

Focus, meanwhile, had other ideas.

In his next over Devon once again attempted to work the ball through the leg side, missed completely and was pinned plumb in front.

The umpire’s finger went up so quickly Eastwood himself would have been impressed.

With Bruce finally gone, the momentum swung decisively.

Then came Soapy’s second over.

The scorebook simply reads:

2 runs. 2 wickets. 2 catches.

The second catch deserves special mention.

The ball sailed high towards long off where Vader settled underneath it.

Not a single person on the ground gave the catch more than about a 1% chance of being completed.

Then…

Vader caught it.

Only Vader himself seemed surprised that everyone else was surprised.

The Bulldogs had collapsed from 56-1 to 80-6 after 11 overs.

To the casual observer, the match looked over.

To anyone associated with Bashers Leisure…

…not so much.

At drinks, Focus gathered the team together.

“Stay focused. This game isn’t won.”

It was a message requiring very little explanation.

This was Bashers Leisure after all.

First over after drinks and Focus struck again.

This time the batsman employed the unusual tactic of leaving a straight ball that appeared to have every intention of continuing towards middle stump.

The umpire had absolutely no choice.

Up went the finger.

Again.

83-7 after 12 overs.

By the end of the 14th over the Bulldogs had reached 98-7, still requiring 71 from six overs.

Enter Sasquatch.

It should be noted that Sasquatch had arrived accompanied by an international entourage consisting of two Italians and a French lady, all attending their first ever cricket match.

Whether he was distracted by introducing three Europeans to the finer points of cricket, or had simply forgotten the captain’s instructions about limiting extras, remains a matter of debate.

Whatever the explanation, his opening over disappeared for 12 runs, including three wides and a towering six.

His entourage looked increasingly impressed.

The Bashers…

…rather less so.

With the momentum beginning to wobble, Fling entered the attack.

His over cost just five runs and produced another wicket, neatly caught by Cracker in a classic leg-side trap.

The catch itself was straightforward.

Nevertheless, Cracker wisely thrust his considerable midriff underneath the ball for additional insurance, subscribing to the sensible principle that two catching surfaces are better than one.

The Bulldogs were now 116-8 after 16 overs.

Surely…

Not quite.

Sasquatch returned and, determined to continue entertaining his European guests, generously donated another 12 runs.

By now his entourage had begun to grasp many of cricket’s finer nuances.

One concept, however, continued to puzzle them.

Why, they wondered, did everyone keep shouting “Long barrier!”

From what they could see, Sasquatch appeared to favour a rather more continental approach…

…an open-door policy.

With three overs remaining the Bulldogs still required 41.

A perfectly defendable equation.

Fling’s second over disappeared for 11 runs, but the captain still believed he held one final ace.

Soapy would bowl the penultimate over.

The over read:

wd, wd, 2, 6, dot, 6, 1, 1

Eighteen runs.

The ace card had somehow found its way into the Bulldogs’ hand instead.

So it all came down to the final over.

12 required.

Focus handed the ball to the man with no name, who had already rescued the Bashers with the bat.

The second delivery produced complete chaos.

A comfortable single became an attempted second before the batsman suffered a complete crisis of confidence halfway down the pitch, stopped, turned around and made almost no attempt whatsoever to regain his ground.

The Bashers gladly accepted the unexpected gift.

Run out.

One wicket remained.

One ball later the man with no name completed a remarkable all-round performance by bowling the Bulldogs’ last batsman.

Game over.

Phew.

Victory.

Pulled from the jaws of defeat…

…which had earlier been pulled from the jaws of victory.

Post-Match Notes

Not all memorable moments make the scorebook.

Soapy’s fielding certainly deserves a special mention.

At one stage he launched himself full length to his right, producing what looked from the boundary like a catch worthy of any highlights reel.

Sadly, somewhere between horizontal flight and earthbound landing, the ball decided to part company with his hands.

Officially, it goes down as a dropped catch.

Unofficially, it was probably the best full-length diving drop the Bashers have witnessed all season.

Not content with one spectacular effort, Soapy later followed it up with an equally spellbinding moment at midwicket, somehow allowing a far more straightforward chance to travel cleanly between his hands.

Few players combine the spectacular and the baffling quite so effectively.

Following the match, many Bashers quickly disappeared to fulfil the more important responsibilities of adult life—work commitments, fatherly duties, waiting entourages and various other obligations.

That left just a hardy handful to stay behind and cheer on the Devils against everyone’s favourite Shanghai Division 1 side…

Pudong.

Finally, it has to be said there was a distinct lack of Executive Committee leadership on display.

There was no fines session.

There was still no official Basher christening for the man with no name despite his outstanding all-round performance.

Frankly, it’s becoming embarrassing.

The Nom de Plume Committee is therefore instructed to convene before next Sunday’s fixture.

Failure to do so will undoubtedly result in another strongly worded reminder in next week’s match report.

P.S.

Congratulations also to the Devils for seeing off Pudong later in the day, completing a clean sweep for Bashers Cricket Club. Two wins, plenty of laughs, one spectacular full-length diving drop, one miraculous Vader catch, an international entourage introduced to cricket, and still no nickname for the man with no name.

All in all…

…just another Sunday at Bashers Leisure.