Lumberjack: Leisure Vs Dukes – June 19

After seeing their previous game rained out, the Bashers Leisure were keen to get out in the sunshine and get amongst it. The Bashers hadn’t supped from the furry cup of success since April the 24^th. After a rained out game and a thrashing at the hands of Dukes it was time to make amends.

There was no better way for the team to get back on track than to seek redemption against the Dukes who had beaten them in the previous round.

Arriving at the ground Omega took one look at his current state of fitness and on comparing it to the large boundary ropes decided that running 2’s and 3’s wasn’t the way of the future and pulled the rope in 5 meters. Herein began our first mind games of the day. We also brought out of retirement Scooby who was keen as mustard to get into it. As 12^th man he ended up also being part of the Bashers Propaganda machine standing their resolute making the opposition always weary that he was about to turn the game. Given the way it panned out, we will keep this secret weapon of intimidation for another game. Adding to that, was Birdshit’s Bloody Marys and we had an arsenal poised and rearing and ready to go.

Truffles won the toss and in the searing heat decided to bat and let them roast in the sun and simmer in that funny poo smell that was wafting at the far end of the ground.

Sir Dick opened with Spanner to try and put some runs on the board. The boys set off with a hiss and a roar and in no time were putting the ball beyond the rope. It was spanner who was the first to leave, after a mistimed heave had him caught at mid-on for 17 (tidy start: 68-1). In comes The latte sipping, luxury collection fresh of the plane,  Gear and the swinging takes on a new life. He would eventually go trying to emulate his 6 from the ball before, only managing to stand on his own stumps and be gone for a rapid 29. Sir Dick retired for 50 off 30. At Drinks the Bashers were 125-2 after 13 overs. Truffles (42) and Omega (34) settled into their work and for the middle overs and kept the scoreboard ticking over nicely both were looking the goods for 50’s before falling short.

In the final 3 overs the Bashers with their first 200 score of the season looming set about trying to lay on some runs. Instead we lost 5 wickets for 15 runs and even managed to concede a hattrick off the final 3 balls.

But a significant total of 208-8 off 25 was really putting down the marker and saying come and get me.

Hard On and The Chancellor took the new ball and did a great job of keeping the run rate down early. The Dukes were chipping away at the runs and got to drinks without losing a wicket for 80 odd. However, their  slow run rate was starting to move the RRR up.

Eventually Mr fitness Omega bowling his typically immaculate lovely line and length bamboozled their opening bat into an LBW and sent him on his way. Omega had to take matter into his own hands after Sir dick (ball in the face) and Tampon (ball in the nuts) clearly didn’t know where their own hands were.

With there other opening bat retiring shortly afterwards they had two new men at the crease. They were both swinging the willow and closing in on the total. At the pace they were scoring we starting to look a little less bullet proof. For some unknown reason, Truffles tosses the ball to our own Bullet who has been mostly asleep or staring into space until this point. His first delivery was fruit, but straight fruit and the batsman’s eyes light up and he clubs it straight back at the Bullet. The sound of leather on flesh is surely the Bullet sustaining life threatening injuries but low and behold in self-defense the Bullet has preserved his own life and sent the batsman on his way. The Batsman is dark and Bullet is ecstatic. He wasn’t done yet and went on to take two more wickets for career best figures of 3-15. He tried to sneak more as he was also overheard asking the umpire if the run-out also went to the bowler.

Notable bowling figure go to The Gear who despite bowling 8 wides officially (CRICHQ don’t lie) only went for 2 runs off four overs. If only we had the accuracy of Birdshits scoring for both innings.

The Bashers took the heat out of their chase in the final overs with Duke slumping to 171-5.

Unfortunately the author was unable to weave Spam into the match report for his Golden Duck (back-to-back) that started the hatrick. However as its last game for the club we wish him well as he gallivants across the globe and hope to see him up this way again if anything so he can improve his average. Bon Voyage Spam.

So a smart 37 run victory for the Bashers taking them to a clear second on the table with two games to play. The Playoffs loom should the Bashers knock off the Hot Dogs this weekend.