Pleasure V Hotdogs May 19th 2019

I guess I was asked to write this Lumberjack to make myself feel more part of the team and to raise my morale, due to the fact that for my second consecutive game I was not added to the relevant Bashers Wechat group, and thus, had no idea I was playing until the 11^th hour (thanks Fruity and Bambi). However, my feeling of disappointment for being the least popular Basher on Wechat would be nothing compared to how Pleasure as a whole would be feeling at the end of the game.

Pre-match spirits seemed positive, the later start time allowed people to wake up at a reasonable hour, instead of the usual ridiculous time on a weekend, just to play some cricket. The well-rested bashers made it to the ground at a decent time, Pope got off the bus feeling perplexed and was definitely seen Googling how a flag should be stitched onto a sleeve. Bambi won the toss and elected to bat first and the carnage began.

To put it simply, everyone forgot how to bat. We managed to amass a feeble 86, with extras contributing a vital 32. One person (Bambi) managed to make double figures, the other 10 of us failed to get past 7, making 34 runs between ourselves in the process. Rooty finished with a valiant 6*. The less said about our innings the better. Nobody likes batting anyway, right?

With spirits down, and needing a perfect performance in the field to stand a chance at winning, Pleasure warmed up during the interval in the same manner they batted. Nobody could be bothered to fetch a bat so Korean was throwing balls into the air to those in wait, nobody could be bothered to call their catch so the ball was being caught by the turf, and nobody could be bothered to catch at all it seemed.

Despite the incredibly village warm up, we managed a respectable performance in the field with minimal misfields and some solid bowling. Bambi was steaming in with very audible grunts, bowling accurately and eager to make the new Bambi Junior proud. He was well supported by Lamb Shank, together they toiled away respectably, taking a wicket each for their troubles. However, the damage was already done, our 86 was chased down with ease in under 16 overs with Hotdogs losing 4 wickets in the process.

Post-game, a disappointing afternoon was made worse when it emerged that Sensei who had been spectating (with no female acquaintance this week) managed to get over his illness and be fit enough to eat up the rest of the pies, much to the fury of the team. Disappointed with his form, Cracker seemed to seriously contemplate binning his whites and picking up his football boots and have a weekly kick about instead.

Despite the heavy defeat, there was a good mood on the bus, I guess we were glad to be going home now that the misery had ended. As you can probably guess negative batting fines took up the majority of the time.

Pleasure can take some positives away from the day’s game (albeit absolutely nothing batting related) safe in the knowledge that it can’t possibly get any worse, can it? Until next time…