6’s Match Reports = By Hammer

While Terror Turner was nervously awaiting the most important delivery of his life, and Loose Losington confessing to a life time of rampant premarital sex and masturbation, the remaining Bashers were focusing on the seasons marquee event, The Shanghai Coca-Cola International Cricket 6’s.

With past cricketing legends such as Ian Botham, Mervin Hughes, Alec Lamb, Peter Cain, Ian Healy all in attendance, the excitement was rife! With Coca-Cola generously putting up 100rambos per 6 hit for earthquake victims the guilt of another piss fueled weekend was put to ease!

Bashers V Murava
The team for the Friday game V Murava was selected from self employed Bashers, and Bashers with flexible work hours, on paper the squad looked ok, but big expectations were hovering over this side to play the team containing Ian Healy and his mini me.
The Bashers either won or lost the toss and decided to bat or were put into bat (details on the blog clear as mud).
The innings started off dodgy with Omega being claimed second ball, and it could have got a lot worse if it was not for Stats coming to the party blazing a few fours and a HUGE maximum over cow corner, Scoobie helped out with a nice little cameo nearer the end of the innings to get the Bashers to 56/1 off their allotted overs.
Any Bashers bowing line up with the mix of aggression and peace and love has a chance, so it didn’t seem all doom and gloom.
BUT then Don Juan opened the bowling and proceeded to help build two schools a hospital and a cricket academy in the earthquake stricken province of Sichuan, 34 from the first over, after this the game was out of reach, Scoobie did pick up a couple of wickets after the damage was done but Murava cursed to victory, Ian Healy’s presence seemed to get to some of the boys!

To rid the evil burdened of another potential star stricken affair on day 2, the Bashers gathered at O’Malley’s, to take the edge off with a few quiet beers and a chat to their heroes, however, “a few quiet beers” is something that has never been associated with the club, so predictably the few beers turned into a session and with a 10.30am start the following morning the book makers (although in Italy) didn’t give the Bashers much of a chance,

Bashers V White Knights
A late change to the starting line up seemed to work a treat for Cranky, the Bashers batted first and although the captain was caught for 3 off 5 playing test cricket, Jammer and Sir Dick opened the arms up and started sending leather crashing into corporate canvas, Jammer ended up caught for 20, then Divynal came to the crease and chimed in with some earthquake relief of his own before being bowled, but it was Sir Dick with a lot more than the 19 he was accredited for being the main stay of the Bashers. The score blew out and we were left licking our lips on 69/3
A glance at Merv with his shirt off between innings was enough for the Bashers to know the Knights would have to win this one with boundaries, Line and Length was the call from the Bashers faithful.

The Captain elected to open the bowling, with 22 off the first over, the boys knew they were in a game, then when Profs over went for the same figure as the ages of the girls he had been chasing the previous evening, cool heads were called upon. Fortunately Divynal, Jammer, and Dipso guided the boys home with some tight bowing, The White Knights could only manage 59/2 and the Bashers were back in the tourney.

What happened between noon and the next game was a defining moment in the weekend, by about 2pm and with the tent smelling like schapelle Corby’s boogie board bag with a six pack poured in it, things started to go down hill quickly, the next game at 4pm felling light years away and the rain belting down the party had no where to go but full tit ahead.
When the team took the field to play a reduced 4 ball an over game against the CBB the team was well and truly loosened up.

Bashers V CBB,
Once Again the Bashers batted first in this over reduced game, with only 20 balls to make some sort of score in slippery conditions Prof failed with 4 off 8 balls, Zeb managed 6 at a run a ball pace and Divynal again showed some class with a handy 9 off 8 to get the boys to 26/1, not a respectable total, but not embarrassing considering the alcohol to blood ratio!
The defense with the ball was just like the weather: lugubrious, leg side rubbish from Hammer, Zeb and Birdshit saw the CBB home safely, the only highlight of this game would be Hammers wicket of an Indian test player, he fooled him into a false sense of security and pounced with an amazing slower ball. Hot showers , Old spice , and shots of whiskey was what was required before the boys headed for the dinner!

The Bashers stole the lime light on the red carpet sporting their new blazers, They stormed the stage during the dinner for an unauthorized main stage group photo! The other teams as always were jealous and the boys drank the night away telling everyone how great we are and how rubbish everyone else is. Sir Dick was spotted in good fella’s at about 4am warming up his disco thighs for the next days matches!

Another early start had us questioning if the anti-Basher was organizing the scheduling, but as we were up against another team fond of the drink so the playing field seemed even. Hammer amazingly was the first at the ground, no doubt trying to restore some street credit from not turning up to the 20/20 semi, this would prove a master decision as one of the starting players was beaten into submission by harry hangover and didn’t turn up (fingers at the fines).

Bashers V HKCC Tavernier’s Bowl Semi Final
This was the first game of the weekend where the Bashers had the chance to bowl first. And bowl they did, the first over by Cranky was immaculate, 8 off it but no boundaries. Hammer followed that up with 7 off his and a wicket from his last ball. Jammer stepped up next with 6 off his over and a wicket. Stats got the next wicket, obviously still drunk he busted out some wild erratic party moves that sent the crowed into a state of confusion. Dipso then finished the innings with a very tidy over with only 5 coming from it, and HKCC couldn’t manage one single boundary from their innings and ended up with a laughable 34/3.

Jammer came to the crease and bashed a quick fire 16 off 7, then all Dipso and Sir Dick had to do was knock around a couple singles and leave the wides and it was all over. The Bashers into the final of the Bowl and a sleep deprived turtle with his voice back.

Again the boys were faced with a 4 hour dilemma, it was Sunday bloody Sunday and the hangovers couldn’t catch up, so once again in true Basher fashion the boozy Shanagins begun, After a visit to have a drink in the HKCC tent and an unusual gumboot sniffing incident, 3pm rolled round pretty quickly, and the boys were well up for the final. Cranky decided to stick with the team that bought him success in the Semi, This would prove to be a poor decision made under the influence of margaritas!
 
Bashers V Beijing CC Bowl Final
For the second time of the day Cranky won the toss and decided to bowl first. The performance was a stark contrast to four hours previously, Cranky went for 14 off the opening over Hammer went to water and was hit to all corners of the park with 21 coming from the second over. Jammer then went for 9 and no wickets taken in the first three overs, Stats did pick up the first wicket but not before going for 14, it was only Dipso that bowled tidy picking up a wicket in the final over. Beijing got 68/2 and left the Bashers again chasing the magic 69 for victory!

Jammer who had looked the goods all weekend started off well smacking 22 off 6 balls only to be run out in a yes no yes no debacle. Stats then holes out for 4 from 3, Sir Dick steadied the ship with a 14 from 6 but was stumped, it ironically looked like some Saturday night fever move gone horribly wrong. Cranky then hit one straight down deep square legs throat, as did Dipso, so it was left to Hammer to try rescue the Bashers and write himself into history books. First ball he hits it straight to deep square leg for the fielders third catch of the game. Bashers all out for 52 and runners up in the Bowl was where it ended.

Now the cricket was finished the fine session started and the Hot Dogs ended up taking the Cup,
 
All and All a great weekend!