{"id":7837,"date":"2012-05-02T14:21:40","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T06:21:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/?p=7837"},"modified":"2012-05-02T14:28:28","modified_gmt":"2012-05-02T06:28:28","slug":"dream-on-pudong-leisure-ljack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/dream-on-pudong-leisure-ljack\/","title":{"rendered":"Dream on Pudong. Leisure L’Jack"},"content":{"rendered":"

’twas the day before nothing
\nIn a pub we all know
\nReal men in blazers
\nWere ready to go<\/p>\n

Who was the next
\nOn the list to be reamed?
\nUnbeaten champs
\nThe Pudong Dream Team<\/p>\n

Latex rolled in
\nTo fanfare and red carpet
\nThen proceeded to open
\nAn impromptu flea market<\/p>\n

The Gods had decreed
\nA gentle downpour
\nfor the spring season debut
\nOf the latest Bashers couture<\/p>\n

Post Op was the first
\nTo cause any fuss
\nComplications from surgery
\nMade him miss the big blue bus<\/p>\n

The Pleasure lads joined us
\nThey were glad we were there
\nFor some fashion advise
\nAnd help with drinking their beer<\/p>\n

Many tunnels later
\nWe arrived at point B
\nPassed through immigration
\nTo the SRFC<\/p>\n

The Mule lead warm ups
\nUntil Cranky forgot
\nThat a week has gone by
\nFines master he’s not<\/p>\n

Shit Shoes wagged warm ups
\nBut as recompense
\nHe unzipped his box
\nAnd warmed up the fence<\/p>\n

The Jaguar was chosen
\nTo take the coin toss
\nBut confusion with flowers
\nReturned us a loss<\/p>\n

The Bashers were inserted
\nAs goes the refrain
\nThe last time that happened
\nThe result was much pain<\/p>\n

Shit Shoes went one
\nObviously picked on form
\nPuberty his partner
\nAnd they were to break with the norm<\/p>\n

An opening combo!
\nWhich remained well grounded
\nLasting more than a while
\nThe fans were dumbfounded<\/p>\n

Mrs Cranky was there
\nBut seemed to miss out
\nOn her husbands retirement
\nHe’s now 100 not out<\/p>\n

He was on top of the bowlers
\nFrom the very first ball
\nIntimidation enough
\nTo cause them to fall<\/p>\n

Despite his good fortune
\nHe still found reason to bitch
\nTelling any who’d listen
\nAbout the fault line on the pitch<\/p>\n

Mouse scored a single
\nSurely this isn’t Norm
\nThe rest were all fours
\nFar more true to form<\/p>\n

Someone suggested
\nHe could get some more air
\nNext ball he tried it
\nNot so smart an idea<\/p>\n

Post Op showed up
\nBut it was quite a brief stay
\nIf you ask the ladies
\nThat’s what they all say<\/p>\n

It takes more than one woman
\nTo form an attack
\nIt fell to Loose Unit
\nTo give it a crack<\/p>\n

So he changed into man’s clothes
\nAnd put down his Crown
\nStrode into the mire
\nAnd really went to town<\/p>\n

Time to steady the tail
\nWith the departure of Loose
\nIt was left to the Mule
\nTo be our caboose<\/p>\n

For a while he went AWOL
\nBut he came good on his pact
\nTo return to the pavilion
\nWith his wicket intact<\/p>\n

I was lucky enough
\nTo get a close look
\nAt one of the most beautiful things
\nIn the cricketing book<\/p>\n

I stood at square leg
\nAnd enjoyed the thrill
\nOf Woodstock the batsman
\nThe psychedelic windmill<\/p>\n

Then the end of the overs
\nNo help from me
\nFive wickets given
\nOne Sixty Three<\/p>\n

What a privilege it was
\nHaving Inky to score
\nShe chose to watch Leisure
\nBecause her husband’s a bore<\/p>\n

No rain could deter her
\nFrom performing with grace
\nAnd it would be remiss not to mention
\nThat cool pencil case<\/p>\n

Also a treat
\nA full time umpire
\nIn order to be neutral
\nPusher had to retire<\/p>\n

The drizzle kept coming
\nNot a gap could be seen
\nDark clouds filled the heavens
\nLike a one day sight screen<\/p>\n

Loose got the new cherry
\nThe recalcitrant boozer
\nAs we all know
\nTraining’s for losers<\/p>\n

Despite medication
\nHe instantly found pace
\nNo wickets in his spells
\nBut was right in their face<\/p>\n

Latex played skipper
\nAnd got lucky with tactics
\nPuberty proving
\nA run prophylactic<\/p>\n

The temp captain got under
\nA bewildering floater
\nThe batsman’s reward
\nA brand new Toyota<\/p>\n

Cranky it was
\nWho was picking up scalps
\nHim not being at slip
\nCertainly helps<\/p>\n

Having finally scored
\nShit Shoes got loud
\nSledging from deep square
\nEntertaining the crowd<\/p>\n

The Jaguar maintained
\nHis form of last year
\nResplendent as ever
\nIn red fei yue foot gear<\/p>\n

He used the conditions
\nStopped everything in sight
\nSliding and leaping
\nLike a tossed midget in flight<\/p>\n

Puberty though
\nIs a changed man this season
\nA fielder of note
\nWe wonder the reason<\/p>\n

Conjuring up
\nAn unlikely run out
\nFrom a quick single
\nWhich seemed never in doubt<\/p>\n

His partner in crime
\nAt the wicket keeping station
\nUsing mostly one hand
\nPost Operation<\/p>\n

His defense was superb
\nPrecious few got by
\nThough most of the bowlers
\nGave it a pretty good try<\/p>\n

As the game came down to it
\nHe stretched his cerebral elastic
\nCounting down the equation
\nWith much mental gymnastics<\/p>\n

The pick of the bowlers
\nShould be the Mule
\nFirm line and length
\nAlways the rule<\/p>\n

He should count himself unlucky
\nHis success was not bigger
\nBut then most of the Leisure
\nHave unflattering figures.<\/p>\n

He was also mistreated
\nBy an umpire from whom
\nHe might get kinder treatment
\nIf he tidied his room<\/p>\n

Woodstock was lucid
\nWarmed his hands in his pocket
\nCame off the long run up
\nTwo steps then a rocket<\/p>\n

“Honestly sir
\nYou’re surely mistaken
\nA rip snorter catch
\nIs all that I’ve taken”<\/p>\n

After a sabbatical absence
\nMouse returned to the side
\nbut he missed out on the memo
\nWe no longer bowl wides<\/p>\n

Birdshit stepped up
\nRemoving his jumper
\nHis leg breaks and off cutters
\nThe same as his bumper<\/p>\n

His true deception
\nWill always prove
\nFooling the batsmen
\nTo think it will move<\/p>\n

Runs were scored
\nBut wickets were taken
\nThe Bashers were poised
\nFaith would not be shaken<\/p>\n

Pudong tried their best
\nBut that’s comparatively rank
\nAs the Leisure boys deposit
\nAnother win in the bank<\/p>\n

The screws were tightened
\nAnd I’m thrilled to report
\nThe dream team’s dream ended
\nAlmost thirty runs short<\/p>\n\t\t