Never Trust a Cricketer…<\/p>\n
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
\nNever trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
\nRandier than a sailor who’s been six months at sea,
\nNever let a cricketer’s hand an inch above your knee.
\nFirst, let’s take the pace man, pure speed from first to last!
\nMy darlings, do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.<\/p>\n
Then, there’s the medium pacer, his balls swing either way;
\nHe’s really most persistent and can keep it up all day!<\/p>\n
And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
\nIf you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!<\/p>\n
Then, there’s the wily ‘slowy’, pure cunning is his strength;
\nHe’ll tempt you, then he’ll trap you with his very subtle length.<\/p>\n
So, ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree.
\nNever trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.<\/p>\n
And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease!
\nHe has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.<\/p>\n
The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes.
\nWhen he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes.<\/p>\n
And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two;
\nWhen he arrives at the crease then only six will do.<\/p>\n
Then, there’s the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he’s about;
\nAnd if you let him settle in, it’s hard to get him out!<\/p>\n
We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock,
\nHe doesn’t mind if he’s last man in, as long as he gets a knock.<\/p>\n
So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me:
\nNever trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.<\/p>\n
And watch the wicket-keeper, girls, he’s full of flair and dash;
\nAnd if you raise your heel, he’ll whip them off in a flash.<\/p>\n
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score;
\nOr he’ll have you in positions that you never knew before!<\/p>\n
The cricket commentator is a nasty sort of bloke,
\nHe watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.<\/p>\n
Even the kindly umpire, who looks friendly as a pup;
\nYou’ll quickly find you’ve had it, when he puts his finger up!<\/p>\n
So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me:
\n!!!!NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER,
\nWHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Never Trust a Cricketer… Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me, Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be. Randier than a sailor who’s been six months at sea, Never let a cricketer’s hand an inch above your knee. First, let’s take the pace man, pure speed from first to last! My […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[137,46],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3532","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geishas","category-poem"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3532","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/86"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3532"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3532\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3537,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3532\/revisions\/3537"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}