{"id":13839,"date":"2015-08-24T08:53:27","date_gmt":"2015-08-24T00:53:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/?p=13839"},"modified":"2015-08-24T08:58:37","modified_gmt":"2015-08-24T00:58:37","slug":"lumberjack-bashers-leisure-v-devils-23-august-2015","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/lumberjack-bashers-leisure-v-devils-23-august-2015\/","title":{"rendered":"Lumberjack Bashers Leisure v Devils, 23 August 2015"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lumberjack written in the style of Mr Ernest Hemingway<\/strong><\/p>\n

She sat at the table and drank tea reading the classifieds.<\/p>\n

For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do people put this stuff in here\u201d?<\/p>\n

He was on the couch going through his iphone. He said nothing.<\/p>\n

The muffled voices of children playing in the park could be heard from outside of the window.<\/p>\n

The day was clear and bright.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Bashers won\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u201d. He responded.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Bashers won\u201d.<\/p>\n

She took a sip from the tea.<\/p>\n

\u201cand\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cand what\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cdetails\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow you listen\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cdetails\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, they won. It was raining from the start but they decided to play anyway\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBloody idiots. What was Sharapova thinking? Pope has fucked her up\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is it always Pope\u2019s fault\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just saying\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey only had seven men so Sharapova chose to bat\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBit unsportsmanlike\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou can talk. Remember 2006 when Gooding wanted to leave the Bashers?”<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to talk about it\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cShrek got a fifty\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBullshit. That old bloke? Did they check the scoresheet to make sure he got fifty?”<\/p>\n

She lifted the paper towards him and showed him the picture of the scoresheet that was in the paper.<\/p>\n

\u201cProof right there\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cOk what else\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cCranky played across the line to a full delivery and was bowled\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHopeless\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cFingers scored a few runs but lost his wicket playing the same shot as Cranky\u201d.<\/p>\n

She leaned in her seat and let crescend what started off as a purr and finished like the beginning of a Mahler concert.<\/p>\n

\u201cCharming\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cParrot made a fifty also\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBullshit. Parrot?”<\/p>\n

\u201cHit 5 boundaries and a six. The Gear helped him on his way with a fine 26. And Omega scored runs as well\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnyone else\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt says that Sharapova, Scooby and Timbers batted but no details\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did they score?”<\/p>\n

\u201c206\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWow. The D1 injection strategy seems to have worked\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, but Shrek is back in Australia. Cranky might be in Thailand and the Gear is not available.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo Parrot has to keep? Bloody hell\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter than Madein. The Gear kept well it says\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s make love\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on. It won\u2019t happen again. <\/p>\n

\u201cHow do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLast time I wasn\u2019t prepared. I have got the right stuff this time\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said no. Apparently Sharapova kept Shrek on the sidelines, so Bullet fielded as the 12th man\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many catches did he drop?”<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are so cynical\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust honest\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWanker. He set the tone of the day with his fielding it says. G’rilla dropped two at mid-on, so Sharapova moved him to cover. Cranky was moved to mid-on and dropped one as well\u201d.<\/p>\n

He got up off the couch and went to the bathroom. He pushed his pants down and took a shit. He did three crosswords, wiped his arse and came back in.<\/p>\n

\u201cCranky\u2019s lost it. Smokey needs to put him out to pasture\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut G’rilla caught one after juggling, and the new guy Timbers snared three wickets. Parrot caught a screamer apparently\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas Timbers in Basher’s gear?”<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t say\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWho got the other wickets. Don\u2019t tell me Sharapova opened with Cranky and G’rilla. I bet they didn\u2019t get a wicket between them\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cCranky no, but G’rilla picked up one. Sharapova stole two wickets from them and copped a nasty bruise on the shin stopping a ball.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe needs to use her hands not her bloody shins. Captain of China…give me a break. What the hell is Pope doing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy is it always Pope\u2019s fault. You think he\u2019s the chosen one don\u2019t you for the Blueblood?”<\/p>\n

\u201cDid Birdshit do anything? Bat? Bowl\u201d? <\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t say but it says Hardon was there\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat the fuck was he doing there\u201d?<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t say but he did do a 6 minute piss on the side of the road after Sharapova berated the driver\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cSix minutes? What is he? A fucking racehorse\u201d?<\/p>\n

The sun had left and the gloaming began. She shut the windows and he shut the doors. She made strawberries with ice cream and sat on the cane chair on the balcony.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo they are in the finals then\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know\u201d.<\/p>\n

\"Leisure\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Shrek<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lumberjack written in the style of Mr Ernest Hemingway She sat at the table and drank tea reading the classifieds. For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn. \u201cWhy do people put this stuff in here\u201d? He was on the couch going through his iphone. He said nothing. The muffled voices of children playing in the park […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[233,455],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-leisure","category-lumberjack"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13839"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13839\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13843,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13839\/revisions\/13843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/basherscc.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}