Shrek

Dearest Bashers I am pleased to announce that No 1 will be in Shanghai from the 16th Feb to the 26th Feb and he will require the following. Alcohol consumed via the nose,a team for the quiz night if there is one,obsequious kow towing from new members,new Bashers shot to be confirmed (why can't beer be part of a shot?), watching of world cup with Bashers past and present, lies about Cranky's incredible climb up Africa's biggest hill, Omega's band playing, Birdshit to recite a famous Shakespeare speech on Bashers drinks night at the Camel on the 17th February, Filthy to wear his underpants outside of his pants, Swahili to find out how to say "Howzat" in Swahil, the anti basher voodoo doll to be completed, and more upstanding than a US State of the Union speech. Mr Turner requests that he is referred to as Shrek, Terror, No 1 or father of two blond Tongans. Mr Shrek would appreciate that the Shanghai paparazzi respects his privacy after midnight when all sense has left. Mr Shrek will also be up in Shanghai for the sixes and would like to ensure that he is placed on a Bashers table. Mr Terror shall be available for all requests sane or otherwise during his time. Xin nian kuai le until then.