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Bashers Cricket Club

Lumberjack Leisure Vs. Hot Dogs

A Disaster waiting to happen.

I shall leave all the boring technical stuff to others and start blaming the defeat to:

  1. The Beer Festival the night before
  2. Unacceptable Bus sharing with the opposing team on the way to the ground
  3. The Weather.
  4. Premature ejaculation (Heard on the field after 30 minutes: “It s a joke!!” – Loose. “It s a massacre at Dulwich!!” – The Jaguar)
  5. Bad Luck
  6. Angela Merkel (main reason)

That, I hope, clarified ,let me be straightforward in saying that:

Poor will be the opposing team facing the mighty Leisure Bashers next, as blood is now in the water an revenge must and will be taken.

REPORT CARDS

DAGS: 5.

Not in his usual competitive spirit. SOFT.

CRANKY: 4

Poor batting, big purchase of the year for the Leisure Team, the public expects more from him. AWOL

PARROT: 4

Poor wicket keeping. Poor batting, way below his standards. INATTENTIVE

SHITSHOES: 5

New shoes did improve his style but not his cricket performance. PART IMPROVING

THE MULE: 5

The future of the Bashers got caught in a poor performance by the team. Let’s hope he gets tired of eating lemons during the fines sessions. LEMONS LOVER(??)

LATEX: 5

Despite the British like weather, he failed to impress. MISTY

TANTRIC: 5

Few waltzer’ style turns while fielding but under average batting. Probably not recovered from Man City league winning celebrations. STRAINED

LOOSE: 4

Another column of the team that failed to deliver. UNSATISFACTORY

PUBERTY: 5

Did his homework right, but that was not enough today. UNAGRESSIVE

WOODSTOCK: 7

Today only pleasant note on the field. Historical, beautiful fielding. Superb style. A MODEL

THE JAGUAR: 5

Average fielding, too late involved in batting. A PARKED FERRARI

THE JAGUAR AT SQUARE LEG: 9

Considering I did not know why I was there, what I was supposed to do and what I had to watch. IMPRESSIVE

FINE SESSION: 10

Leisure fine sessions are ALWAYS the best.

POST FINES SESSION: 10

2012 Division Three

Monday 21 May 2012 P W D L F A P
DPR Hot Dogs 4 4 0 0 575 427 16
Bashers Leisure 5 4 0 1 699 643 16
Pudong DT 4 3 0 1 488 394 12
Pudong D&L 4 1 1 2 273 414 6
Daredevils CC 3 1 0 2 406 396 4
Dulwich Knights 8 0 1 7 675 842 2

Myself and The Parrot , outside of The Camel, took advantage of a professional photo shooting and got invited to a Chinese wedding (I think).

My new best friends

3rd XI The match as remembered by the Lumberjack

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