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Bashers Cricket Club

Get Your Hot Doggies…. Aug 27 2017

Coming off a big evening of lizard racing, thong throwing and heavy drinking the leisure team began to arrive at the camel for clash against the Hot Dogs. Hard On was first to arrive at an ungodly 5am, one might say a tad early to attend to his duties as 12th man. So obviously the logical thing to do is head down to Hollywood, stick your cricket kit in the cloak room and bust out some shapes for 2 hours. Well played indeed! Another notable mention for quality pre bus leisure antics goes to Fisty for masquerading as Mayweather v McGregor spectator and collecting a free beer for the bus ride ahead. Leppa arrived fashionably late as he realised he was out of smokes and had to pop out to duty free at Pudong to pick up a carton. Kit, Beers, Pies all loaded and off we go.

Some quality laid back tunes supplied by Birdy encouraged a few jokes, best that I can remember came from Tampon in – Who is the nicest man in the Hospital……. The Ultrasound guy. Closely followed by What’s better than winning a Gold medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled…..

Bashers sent into bat (I think) and it was Spanner and Fisty to open, some tight bowling restricted scoring through the first few overs until Spanner got his ambitions mixed up with his capabilities and chanced an extra run on a dodgy looking Hot Dog arm and was subsequently run out by a direct hit for 3. This brought Fruitbox to the crease and runs flowed with immediate effect. Fisty pottered around for a while until dismissed caught for 16 from about 480 balls. In strides Paps who batted with poise and class for the remainder of the innings unbeaten on 44, although the scorecard robbed him and indicated run out on the final delivery. During the drinks break Bird Shit had an uncontrollable sneezing fit screaming a number of colourful profanities in the Hot Dogs direction which likely derived from them searching for their individual performance figures with not a single fuck given about the team total.

Fruity retired unbeaten thanks to the use of Spanners kicks which he borrowed during the drinks break. A very relaxed bashers batting outfit grabbed some sun, a few games of Shui thong whilst listening to the unforgettable theme to Debbie Does Dallas, a cultural classic. Hard On was taking his 12 man duties very seriously after another 43 beers and took it upon himself to provide some interesting first aid to a fallen Hot Dog, photo reference below.  A very solid batting platform provide by FT and Paps allowed for some Shui balls attempts from Pope, Parrot and Omega during the final overs providing the Bashers a very defendable 175 for the W.

Leisure take the field following an attempted fielding drill and some inspirational words from our skipper, well not really we just took the field. Parrot jagged one of the better leisure catches of the season one handed in slips from an early Rash delivery. This wondrous catch was later forgotten by some classic catch avoidance having made zero attempt from a similar chance in the latter overs that almost hit him in the head. Notable mention to Tampon for some solid catching in the deep.

Chancellor was a solid as ever finishing with 2/18 off only 4 overs and man of the match Paps with 1/8 off the shortest run up in cricketing history made runs difficult for the dirty dogs. This tight bowling really did mess with the doggies strategy as at some point in the match they simply forgot that in order to win the game you must score more runs that your opponent. Omega and Leppa both finished with a pair each and FB got hit to every corner of the SCSC for his 1/26. Hot Dogs all out for fuck all providing the Bashers with a 72 run win.

And then there was the fine session….. WOW!

Leppa was nominated as fines master who stated at the onset that this was to be a fine session conducted as it was in the early years, 3 fingers for this, 2 fingers for that and the next thing you know we have Hard On playing a cover drive through 35 empty beer jugs in an attempt to stop us calling each other lady parts. Much more colour could be added but record best not kept for parts of this particular fine session.

We piled onto the bus through some much needed words of wisdom from Chancellor we once again found the true Leisure spirit. and raised a tunnel beer toast to the peoples princess on route back to the Camel, 2 games left for the Leisure title!

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