Bashers. It's Shanghainese for Cricket

Pleasure Lumberjack: Bashers “Swoop” of a Day…

Arriving at the SRFC with “Tiny” by an alternative transport than the early bus, the Pleasure boys were already at the ground and going through the usual preparation for the big game smoking, eating, scratching private areas and talking about the vague memory of the night before.

As the captain for the day “Tank” went out for the toss with the Devils Digital captain, it was left to “Tiny” to prepare the boys with the fielding warm up session.

It was quickly established that we needed an IQ of aver 200 to even understand what we were expected to doing in the warm up, running towards each other, running away from each other, alternative running towards each other, alternative running away from each other (yes there was a ball involved which made it even more complicated)!!! (more…)

Business vs Pudong Lumberjack, Aug 14th

Half the team met at the Camel with the usual late arrivals, and the other half at the ground with the usual late arrivals. All honourably fined later. The Camel was encircled in rain however hopes were high that the threatening weather would stay clear from the pitch so there was no repeat of last week’s draw. This was a game the Business boys needed to win to stay in the hunt for a semi’s birth. Considering no one really wants to know about occurrences at the Camel or cares about the usual debate and banter on the bus…. let’s get straight into the game.

Upon arrival to the SRFC, we found the 20min downpour which occurred earlier left the turf soaked. Kit-bitch Tubby left everyone’s water-wings behind, except his own, so it was sink or swim. Into the fray strolled ‘the Mut’, who thought he’d leave an early mark on the game by defining the boundaries as well as everyone’s bags. (more…)

Leisure Lumberjack.

The day started well, with everyone on time for the bus except for Puberty and Sharapova and Shears and Parrot.

We arrived at the beautifully manicured SRFC to find the only shade was next to the lawnmower that Woodstock looked very at home upon.  Sharapova arrived at the ground with friend in a delightful zebra dress and Woodstock had no hesitation in giving her his pants and she assumed her position at fine leg. This leading the leisure squad to believe that for the first time in Shanghai cricket history 2 ladies represented in a competitive game.

Despite the onset of thunderstorms off the Basher’s went to bowl. What a start it was! Off the 2^nd ball of the day, 1^st legal delivery, Sharapova snuck one through the defense of last games half-century maker and knocked the off stump over. Clungealicious was the word that everyone was thinking to themselves as they ran in to congratulate Sharapova donning the multi coloured bandanna.  From there in the Basher’s settled into a happy stint of mediocrity with the runs being contained by some very tight bowling from all involved.

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Lumberjack – Pleasure v Devils Doosra – The Good, Bad & Ugly.

The signs were there early that it perhaps wouldn’t be the greatest day… I did a quick pre alarm time check only to find that it was 7:20am and  was due at the Camel in ten minutes. Once the panic had died down and I was on my way, I found I’d set my alarm for 7pm instead of 7am… Shit !  All I could rely on was Sinbad being late also , and with more consistency than a Basher batting collapse so it was, that  the bus was still there and Sinbad wasn’t (apparently the fault of the red taxi’s)…but regardless, my first Basher Lumberjack was assigned.

So with the Leisure bus moving off in the distance and a distinct lack of Dragon bar leftovers around, the small pleasure team contingent headed to the SRFC.

A most informative journey to the ground ensued with stand in skipper Tank reciting the daily messages from our courageous but absent skipper Bugs’ journey back from the depths of typhoid hell (gastro) – Great work getting the scorebook back in time Bugs! (more…)

Lumberjack – Leisure V Devils 31st July

I write my first ever lumberjack report with a beaming smile on my noggin after just witnessing England smash India by 319 runs in the second test back in good old Pomland, surely on their way to becoming the best cricket nation in the world, not that any of you ozzy’s, kiwis or Scots could give a (full) toss….

And so to the real cricket; it was the usual un-godly 7am-ish meet at everyone’s favorite Shanghai institution The Camel Toe, the boy’s were all amassed and the mood a little somber, it was clear something wasn’t quite right – other than the fact that the pies had been replaced by a watermelon (?!?) there was a distinct lack of X-Rated entertainment being pumped out of the devils layer across the road, Sad times indeed. So after a little macho broken paw comparing (it’s all the rage this season) it was time to board the Basher Mobil and plod our way to Auschwitz to face the Devils. (more…)

Business Lumberjack: July 24th

The Business headed out to Dulwich College late Sunday morning facing a must-win game against the cellar-dwelling Power.

Things started ominously with Cranky’s driver going AWOL resulting in a close race for last person to the ground between himself and Leppa.

It got worse for the Business when stand in tosser Stats lost the toss whilst Capt. Filthy was finishing his umpiring gig. Bashers to field first in sauna like conditions. Strong eleven named including The Dog prowling the edge of the boundary hoping to see some action as 12th man. (more…)

Business Vs K2 17th July Lumberjack Report

Sunday morning held the promise of great cricket in the air. The Biz team were facing K2 for the 3rd time this season and both going into the game 1 game a piece, it promised to be tough and exciting. The morning started of optimistically with Sinbad being uncharacteristically on time for the bus and Dazzler deciding to keep the bus waiting 7 minutes prompting the skipper to want to leave without out him. What a great call on the skipper’s part to instead wait as Dazzler would live up to his name and go on to score 107 RUNS, making him the 2nd person only in Bashers history to score a tonn.

WELL DONE DARREN!!!! 107 runs

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Bashers Pleasure vs Leopards-Sun 17th July 2011

Bugs started the game in inspired form, winning the toss, and winning the discussion about whether to play from 2 ends or 1.

Bashers batted. Pothole was filled in early, and The Dog started brightly. The Dog was put down via deflection off partner Tiny at the non-strikers end to be caught mid-on. The Rock showed exceptional bat speed, but couldn’t convert this potential into runs, and soon Shit Shoes was in on debut.

Shit Shoes and Tiny built the best Bashers partnership of the innings, in spite of their running between the wickets. Bashers were well placed at 96-3 at drinks, but the middle order were thrown out in a cascade of wickets. Special mention goes to à Trois for spectacular dismissal, with him going at full tilt in one direction, and stumps splattered in the other direction. (more…)

Match Report: Leisure v Devils DUI, 10 July 2011

So Stiffy’s working hand had come off second best against a far more sober wall, and he was well and truly out.  (What is it with these insurance agents? Parrot could explode any minute and make the trifecta.) Under the Leisure by-laws, 12th man Pusher then got into the squad as captain, a position he was to lose, regain and lose before a ball was bowled at the balmy Dulwich ground.

Birdshit is captain now and it’s a great day for cricket.  Good energy all round… and everyone had their cricket caps on.  The team was complete as Sharapova arrived in the nick of time to conduct warm-ups.  Full credit to Latex leading last week’s, but that man can really overwork a groin. Loose was chomping at the bit and wouldn’t touch the bus booze on account of “dry-July” rehab. New comers Callgirl and Twiggy squeezed into some new kit and we hit the field. (more…)