Bashers. It's Shanghainese for Cricket

Lumberjack – Leisure V Devils 31st July

I write my first ever lumberjack report with a beaming smile on my noggin after just witnessing England smash India by 319 runs in the second test back in good old Pomland, surely on their way to becoming the best cricket nation in the world, not that any of you ozzy’s, kiwis or Scots could give a (full) toss….

And so to the real cricket; it was the usual un-godly 7am-ish meet at everyone’s favorite Shanghai institution The Camel Toe, the boy’s were all amassed and the mood a little somber, it was clear something wasn’t quite right – other than the fact that the pies had been replaced by a watermelon (?!?) there was a distinct lack of X-Rated entertainment being pumped out of the devils layer across the road, Sad times indeed. So after a little macho broken paw comparing (it’s all the rage this season) it was time to board the Basher Mobil and plod our way to Auschwitz to face the Devils. (more…)

Business Lumberjack: July 24th

The Business headed out to Dulwich College late Sunday morning facing a must-win game against the cellar-dwelling Power.

Things started ominously with Cranky’s driver going AWOL resulting in a close race for last person to the ground between himself and Leppa.

It got worse for the Business when stand in tosser Stats lost the toss whilst Capt. Filthy was finishing his umpiring gig. Bashers to field first in sauna like conditions. Strong eleven named including The Dog prowling the edge of the boundary hoping to see some action as 12th man. (more…)

Business Vs K2 17th July Lumberjack Report

Sunday morning held the promise of great cricket in the air. The Biz team were facing K2 for the 3rd time this season and both going into the game 1 game a piece, it promised to be tough and exciting. The morning started of optimistically with Sinbad being uncharacteristically on time for the bus and Dazzler deciding to keep the bus waiting 7 minutes prompting the skipper to want to leave without out him. What a great call on the skipper’s part to instead wait as Dazzler would live up to his name and go on to score 107 RUNS, making him the 2nd person only in Bashers history to score a tonn.

WELL DONE DARREN!!!! 107 runs

(more…)

Bashers Pleasure vs Leopards-Sun 17th July 2011

Bugs started the game in inspired form, winning the toss, and winning the discussion about whether to play from 2 ends or 1.

Bashers batted. Pothole was filled in early, and The Dog started brightly. The Dog was put down via deflection off partner Tiny at the non-strikers end to be caught mid-on. The Rock showed exceptional bat speed, but couldn’t convert this potential into runs, and soon Shit Shoes was in on debut.

Shit Shoes and Tiny built the best Bashers partnership of the innings, in spite of their running between the wickets. Bashers were well placed at 96-3 at drinks, but the middle order were thrown out in a cascade of wickets. Special mention goes to à Trois for spectacular dismissal, with him going at full tilt in one direction, and stumps splattered in the other direction. (more…)

Match Report: Leisure v Devils DUI, 10 July 2011

So Stiffy’s working hand had come off second best against a far more sober wall, and he was well and truly out.  (What is it with these insurance agents? Parrot could explode any minute and make the trifecta.) Under the Leisure by-laws, 12th man Pusher then got into the squad as captain, a position he was to lose, regain and lose before a ball was bowled at the balmy Dulwich ground.

Birdshit is captain now and it’s a great day for cricket.  Good energy all round… and everyone had their cricket caps on.  The team was complete as Sharapova arrived in the nick of time to conduct warm-ups.  Full credit to Latex leading last week’s, but that man can really overwork a groin. Loose was chomping at the bit and wouldn’t touch the bus booze on account of “dry-July” rehab. New comers Callgirl and Twiggy squeezed into some new kit and we hit the field. (more…)

Pleasure Report: July 10

Well, it all started well, the weather had cooled from last week, all Bashers were at the Camel at midday ready for the game. The bus ride included the usual talk, tactics, ass-less chaps and slating Vettel and Nadal for being better sportsmen than us!

We arrived at the ground, Bugs won the toss and batting seemed like a great way to start. We then proceeded to do a 20 minute session of fielding practice under the guise of our great captain, for still unknown reasons. We were fielding well, shame we had to bat.

After some pashing with Babs on the sideline Bugs called us together for a great motivational speech, we were full of confidence heading into the middle with Pitstop and Pothole opening for the 2nd week in a row. Both were seeing it from the start and facing some tidy bowling, we were away to a decent start. Pitstop was bowled but Pothole and Growler didn’t mess around and decided to increase the run rate up to drinks. (more…)

BUSINESS BASHED!! Sun. 3rd July

Business Bashers vs Dogs match report

The Business side approached the game on this sweltering 38*C day in their usual manner – the bus waited for Sinbad at the Camel before making a late departure. Spirits were high however, and the Dogs had rued the day they last stepped onto the wicket against us.

“Captain-for-a(nother)-day” Filthy Mildenhall won the toss and elected to bat first, rejecting the Hotdog’s offer for same-end bowling in the process. The hope was that shear heat stress would wear down the opposition with field changes adding pressure to the Doggies in the midday sun. With only three regular Business players due to take the field and the bulk of the rest made up of new players and Pleasure upgrades, the day was always going to be a bit of an unknown quantity. (more…)

A Leisurely Lumberjack – Bashers vs Pudong Power 3rd July

With yet another early start for the Leisure the team assembled themselves at The Camel along with the dregs of Shanghai that were leftover from the Klitschko v Haye fight that had finished a little earlier. To be honest some of the girls hanging around the front looked like they had already gone 10 rounds in the ‘ring’ that night as well.

After we had worked out that Filthy had filled our team with ringers that either didn’t exist or had no intention of actually coming and playing we managed to scrape together a team including Pusher Jr standing in.

Sprits were high after last weeks confidence building performance so a few brewiskies were consumed to ensure that we carried on where we left of last week. We made it to the SRFC after ‘Elvis’ got totally lost down town for the second week in a row. (more…)

Pleasure Lumberjack Report: July 3

After waking up at 11.20 after having hit the snooze button too many times, I was proud of my effort to make it to the Camel by 11.40, and indeed not be the last to arrive. There the team assembled and the conversation was mostly about the weather, talk of plus 40 degrees and high 90’s humidity, and whether or not this would affect our decision to bowl first. Oh, and Swoop also expressed his opinion on the relative intelligence of the fairer sex.

Leaving the air-conditioned comfort of the bus on arrival at the SRFC, we passed our first major test and were able to make it to the far end of the field without loosing too many players through heat exhaustion. Having won the toss, our the skipper Tank reversed his decision and sent the opposition in to bowl in the sweltering conditions, to murmurs of agreement from those who still had the strength to murmur. (more…)