Bus arrived to find Leisure as comfortable victors but Pleasure on the receiving end of a hiding. Not chance at another Basher’s Day today but an opportunity to get one foot in the semi’s and keep the pressure on the Devils at the top of the table.

Filthy lost a key toss to the Anti-Basher, who inserted the Business weary off the heavy skies ahead and knowing the rain rules are skewed heavily in favour of the chasing team.

Third new opening combo in four games walked out and Filthy quickly walked back in. Cassius and A’Trois in his Business debut putting on 52 for the 2nd wicket. However Cassius and Dazzler quickly followed the wicket of Artois and the Business were 92-4 after 18 overs. Stats and Tubby put on 57 for the 5th wicket, Tubby and ‘TBC’ 37 for the 6th and the Chitty and Tubby 55 for the 7th before Tubby was tragically caught at mid-wicket for 99 off 77 balls in the second to last over of the innings. Business finished up on their highest score of the season so far, a respectable 248-7.

The Anti-Basher quickly switched into cunt-mode and the umpire was persuaded to delay the game. Out come the Doggies umbrellas and the usual whinging and yapping associated with aforementioned mutts. Finally they decided they’d reduced the target enough and wanted to play. 175 needed off 27. Bullshit compared to 249 off 40 but defendable.

Business got off to a good start with Paps picking up two early wickets in a great 6 over burst, conceding only 20 runs. V. Rathore was quickly yanked off “hurt” after his 5 off 13 and the Anti-Basher slithered to the wicket. Not for long, as Chitty picked up his first Business wicket. I would tell you the FOW but the Dogs couldn’t score ina fucking brothel so our scorebook is a disgrace. B. Goodwin and J.Keel then chased down the remaining runs at close to 8 an over winning in the last over with a ball remaining.

• Sunday 13 May 2012 SRFC Near
  Bashers Business 248/7 ()
  DPR Hot Dogs 176/4 (4)

Still in the top two but in danger of losing touch with Devils in first. Two games aganist them in the following two matches look key.

2012 Division One

I shall leave all the boring technical stuff to others and start blaming the defeat to:

1. The Beer Festival the night before
2. Unacceptable Bus sharing with the opposing team on the way to the ground
3. The Weather.
4. Premature ejaculation (Heard on the field after 30 minutes: -‘’ It s a joke!!’’ Loose. -‘’ It s a massacre at Dulwich!!’’ The Jaguar)
5.  Bad Luck
6. Angela Merkel (main reason)

That, I hope, clarified ,let me be straightforward in saying that:

Poor will be the opposing team facing the mighty Leisure Bashers next , as blood is now in the water an revenge must and will be taken.

• Sunday 20 May 2012 Dulwich College
  Bashers Leisure 123/10 ()
  DPR Hot Dogs 135/7 (4)

REPORT CARDS

 DAGS: 5.

Not in his usual competitive spirit. SOFT.

CRANKY: 4

Poor batting, big purchase of the year for the Leisure Team, the public expects more from him. AWOL 

PARROT: 4

Poor wicket keeping. Poor batting, way below his standards. INATTENTIVE

SHITSHOES: 5

New shoes did improve his style but not his cricket performance. PART IMPROVING

THE MULE: 5

The future of the Bashers got caught in a poor performance by the team. Let s hope he gets tired of eating lemons during the fines sessions. LEMONS LOVER(??)

LATEX: 5

Despite the British like weather, he failed to impress. MISTY

TANTRIC: 5

Few waltzer’ style turns while fielding but under average batting. Probably not recovered from Man City league winning celebrations. STRAINED

LOOSE: 4

Another column of the team that failed to deliver. UNSATISFACTORY

 PUBERTY: 5

Did his homework right, but that was not enough today. UN AGRESSIVE

 WOODSTOCK: 7

Today only pleasant note on the field. Historical, beautiful fielding. Superb style. A MODEL

THE JAGUAR: 5

Average fielding, too late involved in batting. A PARKED FERRARI 

THE JAGUAR AT SQUARE LEG: 9

Considering I did not know why I was there, what I was supposed to do and what I had to watch. IMPRESSIVE

FINE SESSION: 10

Leisure fine sessions are ALWAYS the best.

POST FINES SESSION: 10

2012 Division Three

Myself and The Parrot , outside of The Camel, took advantage of a professional photo shooting and got invited to a chinese

wedding ( i think).

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/TkHvZViuzCU/

The video is 8 action packed minutes of superb winning cricket from the Leisure over the weekend… Tank is also uploading to the Bashers page on Facebook for those with a decent VPN…

I wasnt there so cant comment

Deciding to drive to SRFC – nappy changes for juniors and taking wrong turns on elevated highway placed Omega squarely in this role of reporting.

With Birdshit’s Shakespearean prose setting a new high , this report will bring it crashing back to earth .

Digital Devils bat first , and Swahili and Bugs opened with vigour, aggression and 2 early wickets , should have been 3 as an edge heard at the scorers table was somehow turned down – the resulting conceded runs – too many

First to drop a catch was Tiny . Then he took one by finger tips . Then he became the magnet by which all shots in the air were attracted, resulting in the Sanjay keeping his wicket and resulting in field changes until the 24th over.

Not to be outdone Long Dong did his best to impersonate a fielder with intent, only to back down with said catches falling safely.

All the time the Devils kept scoring boundaries , one of which Pitstop popped his ankle and our out fielding thus gifted even more runs as he took a hobbled spot at point.

The recent frugal bowlling of Swoop, Omega, Long Dong and Bada Bing impersonated Elvis with each conceding at least one 12 plus over and only Tiny , Swahili and Bugs keeping it tight.

In fact with 6 overs remaining and the opening bowlers brought back a flurry of wickets fell. Notably Bugs getting 3 more wickets and 2 run outs . The Devil’s Sanjay(83) pairing up with Parthiban (65 ret) but way too many dropped catches to allow them this total.

Digital Devils   8 / 227  and Bashers in with a fight.

As the Leisure were whooping it up on the Main field , Omega opened with Tiny as Pitstop was injured.

New Basher Nemesis Chaitanya then took Tiny’s and Omegas wicket in the first over . First ball of his second Ghengis gave his up and for a few overs Swoop and Bada Bing resisted and put some runs on the board

It was all to be short lived . Swoop with 19 and a short cameo from Swahili with 3 boundaries and 16 runs gave a little hope but once our nemesis was re introduced with a 6 man slip cordon , the remaining batters showed little resistance and an all out total of 64 was just plain crap from a team who should do better.

• Sunday 13 May 2012 SRFC Far
  Digital Devils 227/8 (4)
  Bashers Pleasure 64/10 ()

Few beers after the game with the only victorious Bashers team of the day , and back on the bus to what I can guess was a sedate fines session.

The one consolation, at least the beers were cold in the bus!!

Notables – Bugs 4 for 29

Swahili 2 for 33

Swoop 19 runs

2012 Division Two

Need a better showing this weekend , and with our usual players available from stepping up to Business duties a more competitive team should be on the park.

NB. Not going to drive again !!

Who was the next
On the list to be reamed?
Unbeaten champs
The Pudong Dream Team

Latex rolled in
To fanfare and red carpet
Then proceeded to open
An impromptu flea market

The Gods had decreed
A gentle downpour
for the spring season debut
Of the latest Bashers couture

Post Op was the first
To cause any fuss
Complications from surgery
Made him miss the big blue bus

The Pleasure lads joined us
They were glad we were there
For some fashion advise
And help with drinking their beer

Many tunnels later
We arrived at point B
Passed through immigration
To the SRFC

The Mule lead warm ups
Until Cranky forgot
That a week has gone by
Fines master he’s not

Shit Shoes wagged warm ups
But as recompense
He unzipped his box
And warmed up the fence

The Jaguar was chosen
To take the coin toss
But confusion with flowers
Returned us a loss

The Bashers were inserted
As goes the refrain
The last time that happened
The result was much pain

Shit Shoes went one
Obviously picked on form
Puberty his partner
And they were to break with the norm

An opening combo!
Which remained well grounded
Lasting more than a while
The fans were dumbfounded

Mrs Cranky was there
But seemed to miss out
On her husbands retirement
He’s now 100 not out

He was on top of the bowlers
From the very first ball
Intimidation enough
To cause them to fall

Despite his good fortune
He still found reason to bitch
Telling any who’d listen
About the fault line on the pitch

Mouse scored a single
Surely this isn’t Norm
The rest were all fours
Far more true to form

Someone suggested
He could get some more air
Next ball he tried it
Not so smart an idea

Post Op showed up
But it was quite a brief stay
If you ask the ladies
That’s what they all say

It takes more than one woman
To form an attack
It fell to Loose Unit
To give it a crack

So he changed into man’s clothes
And put down his Crown
Strode into the mire
And really went to town

Time to steady the tail
With the departure of Loose
It was left to the Mule
To be our caboose

For a while he went AWOL
But he came good on his pact
To return to the pavilion
With his wicket intact

I was lucky enough
To get a close look
At one of the most beautiful things
In the cricketing book

I stood at square leg
And enjoyed the thrill
Of Woodstock the batsman
The psychedelic windmill

Then the end of the overs
No help from me
Five wickets given
One Sixty Three

What a privilege it was
Having Inky to score
She chose to watch Leisure
Because her husband’s a bore

No rain could deter her
From performing with grace
And it would be remiss not to mention
That cool pencil case

Also a treat
A full time umpire
In order to be neutral
Pusher had to retire

The drizzle kept coming
Not a gap could be seen
Dark clouds filled the heavens
Like a one day sight screen

Loose got the new cherry
The recalcitrant boozer
As we all know
Training’s for losers

Despite medication
He instantly found pace
No wickets in his spells
But was right in their face

Latex played skipper
And got lucky with tactics
Puberty proving
A run prophylactic

The temp captain got under
A bewildering floater
The batsman’s reward
A brand new Toyota

Cranky it was
Who was picking up scalps
Him not being at slip
Certainly helps

Having finally scored
Shit Shoes got loud
Sledging from deep square
Entertaining the crowd

The Jaguar maintained
His form of last year
Resplendent as ever
In red fei yue foot gear

He used the conditions
Stopped everything in sight
Sliding and leaping
Like a tossed midget in flight

Puberty though
Is a changed man this season
A fielder of note
We wonder the reason

Conjuring up
An unlikely run out
From a quick single
Which seemed never in doubt

His partner in crime
At the wicket keeping station
Using mostly one hand
Post Operation

His defense was superb
Precious few got by
Though most of the bowlers
Gave it a pretty good try

As the game came down to it
He stretched his cerebral elastic
Counting down the equation
With much mental gymnastics

The pick of the bowlers
Should be the Mule
Firm line and length
Always the rule

He should count himself unlucky
His success was not bigger
But then most of the Leisure
Have unflattering figures.

He was also mistreated
By an umpire from whom
He might get kinder treatment
If he tidied his room

Woodstock was lucid
Warmed his hands in his pocket
Came off the long run up
Two steps then a rocket

“Honestly sir
You’re surely mistaken
A rip snorter catch
Is all that I’ve taken”

After a sabbatical absence
Mouse returned to the side
but he missed out on the memo
We no longer bowl wides

Birdshit stepped up
Removing his jumper
His leg breaks and off cutters
The same as his bumper

His true deception
Will always prove
Fooling the batsmen
To think it will move

Runs were scored
But wickets were taken
The Bashers were poised
Faith would not be shaken

Pudong tried their best
But that’s comparatively rank
As the Leisure boys deposit
Another win in the bank

The screws were tightened
And I’m thrilled to report
The dream team’s dream ended
Almost thirty runs short

• Sunday 29 April 2012 SRFC Near
  Pudong DT 137/6 ()
  Bashers Leisure 163/5 (4)

Dags will be happy
On the beach in dick togs
Perfect record intact
Best of all captain’s logs

All that remained
Was to go watch the Pleasure
Take care of business
In fairly short measure

Just ten runs required
When we came along
Bad news was Sinbad
Already with pads on

But after a few hours
And a few trips to the bar
The cricket was done
Bashers two under par

Off to the patio
For some drinks and some rays
It seemed to us now
A much sunnier day

The bus was top heavy
From too much enthusing
Elbows were pointed
Amid civilised boozing

Loose Unit chaired fines
There were many to give
It was challenging though
To be negative

The Bashers rejoiced
And as these things tend
It gets foggy from there
In our Members End

2012 Division Three

Well done to the Geishas
For it has to be said
It was a good day
For staying in bed

Well done Pudong
Although you got creamed
You were gents to the end
Hold on to that dream

Well done the Bashers
For winning the day
But mostly for playing
The Bashers way

The morning was dreary and drizzly when the team assembled at the Camel. The captain was a notable absentee, calling to put Swoop in charge as he was running late. Importantly though, there was an abundance of pies and sausage rolls.

At the ground, Swoop performed his VC duties well by winning the toss and inserting the Leopards. The Bashers took the field and waited as Korean made his way onto the ground in the nick of time. Not that the game could have got underway without him, as he had the match balls in his bag.

• Sunday 29 April 2012 SRFC Far
  Leopards CC 122/10 ()
  Bashers Pleasure 125/8 (4)

Swahili and Swoop opened up. Swoop was his usual niggardly self, and Swahili was on fire: four overs in the spell, with a wicket in each over. The only thing which derailed him was his raw hatred of traitors leading him to bowl a barrage of bouncers at a former Basher. His wickets included two clean bowled, and catches to Hog, and the nonchalant Long Dong.

First change was Basher newcomer Chitty, who bowled fast and straight, claiming his debut wicket by bowling the aforementioned traitor. Long Dong and Tiny also had brief spells for no reward, and Sinbad came on to claim a wicket with a ‘yorker’. The fielding was good throughout, the highlight being when Tiny and Hog combined for a run out as the batsmen tried to take on Tiny’s arm from the boundary. There was also time for another new Basher to come on the field as Postman Pat relieved Swahili for an over, although his only touch of the ball was over the boundary.

At drinks, the Leopards were seven down for 99: slightly more runs than we would have liked, but a few good pieces of cricket would finish them off. Soon after the break, Chitty was brought back to try and end the innings, and he did so in spectacular fashion, claiming the last three wickets in one over (bowled, LBW, caught and bowled), while also bowling one of the most horrific hat-trick balls in cricket history. Unfortunately, this denied Swahili the chance at a fifth wicket, and with Filthy present as scorer (thanks) and Business selector, may also mark the end of Chitty’s Pleasure career.

The upshot was that the Leopards were bowled out for 122 in only 17.5 overs. Surely the Bashers would cruise home, erasing memories of the previous game’s collapse. We did end up getting the runs with 5 overs to spare, but it was another nervous finish with only two wickets in hand.

Pothole started well and looked to be back in form, middling every ball he faced, and Tiny scored a 5 early on to boost the run rate. Unfortunately, both openers soon perished, bringing relative newcomer Hog, and debutant Genghis together. They looked in control, particularly Hog who had a sweep for six and a number of classical cover drives in a good innings of 33. Wickets kept falling, however. Genghis fell LBW to one which kept low, Swoop managed to get stumped first ball, Hog hit one back to the bowler, Badabing wasted some good form by running himself out, and Chitty smashed one boundary before being bowled.

Seven wickets had fallen with 36 runs still required when Korean joined Swahili in the middle. Korean started accumulating dots and ones while Swahili swatted his way to 18 before being given out LBW. Enter Sinbad, with only 13 needed and plenty of overs in hand. The Leisure had completed their win by then and made their way to the far ground to be treated to some textbook forward defence from both Korean and Sinbad. Korean stonewalled his way to 7 (all singles) off 23 thrilling deliveries, while Sinbad batted maturely to score 9 not out, guiding the ball to the third man boundary to bring up the victory.

With two victorious teams on the bus, we got to see where Long Dong’s loyalties really lie as he defected from our fine session to join the Leisure team in the back of the bus. Then most of our team went AWOL as they hung around outside the Camel to finish the Leisure chilly bin before joining a mellow afternoon session in the back bar, where Swahili was awarded Cock-of-the-walk, but managed to escape with his language faculties almost intact.

All in all, it was a pleasing win. Great bowling and fielding left a low total to chase. We made much harder work of it than we needed to, but got the runs in the end without even needing Long Dong to come in for one of his legendary finishes.

2012 Division Two

Leopards 122 all out (17.5 overs)

Swahili 4-0-33-4

Chitty 3.5-0-15-4

Bashers 125 for 8 (24.3 overs)

Hog 33 (37 balls, 3 fours, 1 six)

Swahili 18 (22 balls, 2 fours)

Pothole 15 (20 balls, 3 fours)

This is what really happened on Sunday – another great win for the Leisure!  I know the quality is down from 100MB to just 19MB, so if you want the director’s cut, then you’ll have to get the full size file off me…

It did not take long for the smell of alcohol on my teammates breath to inflame our nostrils. It took even less time for Shit Shoes to start his constant whining about his hands being cold and multiple other whinges. As the bus starts to move music starts playing followed by lots of complaints of the music being played which was truly awful.  When we arrived at SRFC we all signed in and went to the tents. The moment all the gear is set we are engulfed in a cloud of smoke from cigarettes as half the team starts smoking furiously. The practice was the average stuff with the jaguar throwing the ball across to his left instead of to the catcher and Latex trying to take out his team mates with wild throws (our mother told us that Latex was still probably drunk from the previous day’s all day drinking at the SRFC).

The Bashers batted first with Parrot in and out very quickly. The Bashers scored a lot of runs with Cranky hitting lots of huge sixes and fours. He looked very pleased with himself ….as usual. Post Op also hit many good shots and the Bashers ended up with a total of 147. The opposing Dulwich team was not necessarily tough…mainly because we are the Bashers and we rule cricket with an iron fist, but some of their players were surprisingly good. For example one of Dulwich’s kids played very well on the field bowled a few overs which eventually got El Gringo (he bats very slow) out. There there was also a lady teacher who bowled very surprising swing balls to which Cranky commented “You would think it was going here then after you move your foot you realised you have just made a big mistake”.  Unfortunately our new player ‘Dot’ (bats even slower than El Gringo) faced that bowler and got out.  Must be an awful feeling o be bowled by a girl.

Our bowling was always too good for Dulwich. Dot bowled the best and even got a wicket maiden. Cranky also seemed very pleased with his own bowling.  The Jaguar as usual was very funny when he was fielding and often tried to miss catches.  Dags told everyone what to do but I don’t think the Jaguar was listening or understood. Dulwich ended up scoring 129 just before it got dark.

• Sunday 22 April 2012 SRFC Far
  Bashers Leisure 147/4 (4)
  Dulwich Knights 129/4 ()

During the course of the match Shit Shoes thought it might be nice to do a “Sinbad” on the grounds. Boy did that get everyone laughing. Shortly after the match we had a fine session with the self-appointed leader Cranky being very strict on the no speaking out of turn. Every time he feels that he is not happy he will make someone drink or make the juniors suck on pieces of lemon that made our teeth rot. It was all very wild particularly when the Jaguar started showing his tartan converse shoes on the table. He also complained that Dags did not trust his batting or bowling skills. The session was actually very long, a few hours in SRFC and half the bus-ride on the way back to the camel. Cranky seemed very pleased with himself.

2012 Division Three

The day was off to a bad start as there were no pies (Social Director took the blame- hence Lumberjacking!) and a lot of insults flying all over the place with several Pleasure players skipping breakfast expecting delicious pies… Nevertheless the bus was on time and we set off in style in the “BIG BUS”. The bus ride was fairly eventful with people suggesting the Formula one (which was going on in Jiading) be held on a street track in Shanghai instead- the infamous ‘Yanan Lu”. Pitstop also had a great suggestion that they have a Shanghai taxi company Formula one race as well- I vote the yellow one wins as those “shifus” (is that how u spell it?) got some crazy speed…

Anyways back to cricket… The Korean won the toss and with no hesitation put the opposition into bat (First battle won- as the Pleasure are known as a great chasing team!). With a little warm up (Sinbad ran around the ground twice) and some catching practice (where each player threw it to Sinbad miles up in the air- WTF!) the boyz set out onto the field.

The captain opened with the two S’s- Swahili and Swoop… Both bowlers kept it tight with the occasional boundary. Swahili finally got the batsman to nick at one (faintly I might add- as the batsman walked) and set the ball rolling. Swoop at the other end bowled brilliantly with the field up with his fastish off cutters causing the batsmen all sorts of problems. Finally he snapped one up- a short and wide one smashed straight into the waiting arms of LongDong who seemed to “get real low” to snap it up! 2 down- easy as u like. Soon Tank was introduced where he peppered Bernie (Div 1 batsman) with some short stuff and had him ducking to save his life- gotta luv the aggression. Tank was unlucky to have some fours hit off him as there was some atrocious fielding on the fine leg boundary by Sinbad who would have looked better in a soccer field with all the kicking he was trying to do…

The Pleasure needed more breakthroughs and the Captain went to his deadliest pair- The D Silvas… Sinbad and LongDong. Sinbad started off with a rubbish over where he bowled one of his rank full tosses that was easily helped to the boundary… (at this point Korean signalled to Badabing to “warm up”)… This made Sinbad dig real deep as he found his rhythm and started to burn and turn… There was the off cutter, the doosra, the teesra, the carrom ball. The batsmen were in disarray. Finally Bernie (Div 1) couldnt take it anymore and was foxed by an arm ball and Hog had a great stumping (Job done!).  Another Div 1 batsman- R.Cool ( Wat a “Cool” name!) was sent back by Sinbad- bowled!!! It was a ripper- split seam and the batsman played all over it! At the other end LongDong was doing wat he does best- putting pressure as he chipped away at the batsmen piece by piece. This resulted in 2 LBWs- one of them being Captain James Gooding… LongDong was unplayable!!! Both D Silvas were unlucky to not pick up more as balls were poppin in the air and landing into gaps!

Back to Swahili and Tank… Swahili had their main batsman pop one in the air and as the ball seemed to fall back to earth you could see LongDong make a small sign of the cross before he scooped it up nonchalantly (no SINBAD drop award today he said!). Now fielding also played it’s part in 2 wickets- First Pitstop moving like a gazelle to unleash a rocket that was picked up by Hog who was practicing his “bowling” skills by knocking the stumps to get rid of The “BIG MAN” P. Kushalan (He scored 34 and was soon to haunt us further! On him a bit more later!). Second was Tank showing off his arm skills where he fired one in (clocked at 99mph) to run out good ‘ol Andy Baggot without facing a ball.

During this period Korean was leading  by example and showing off his brilliant fielding skills where he spent more time rolling around on the ground then on his feet. He also won the SINBAD “drop” of the day award but I must admit it was not even close to being Sinbadesque as if he had pulled it off it would have been a blinder and “catch of the year” in my opinion! Nevertheless Korean redeemed himself by taking a brilliant catch looking into the sun off the bowling of Tank. Oh yeah Swahili was hit for a massive six by the number 9! (but he would get his revenge!!!) Final score 160… Great fielding all round (well…) and each bowler having a wicket to his name. Now for the batters to knock the score off- should be easy for this all star line up… hmmmm!

Opening the batting was the usual steady combination of Pithole and Potstop…. They played out a couple of maidens as the bowl was swinging all over the place. Pothole finally succumbed as was clean bowled by James Gooding (although I think he was blinded by Hog taking his shirt off on the sidelines- this was not to be the first time in the day!)- One bowled… No problem in comes Manoj “A toi” to swing his club around… He had a quick 8 but was soon bowled by a bowler he didnt even know which way he was turning it. Manoj was unlucky to have a inside edge onto pad (again this was not to be the first time this happened in the day)- 2 bowled! No worries in came the star of the show this season- “Swoop”… Surely the rest of the batting line up could sneak a couple of beers in. Unfortunately Swoop was beaten and was out for 1 as he was bowled by “BIGMAN” Khushalan (again this name was to haunt us !) that’s 3 bowled!

In came Tank to swing things Pleasure’s way… He swung a couple away before also hearing the knock of wood as his stumps were shattered by Khushalan! 4 BOWLED??? OMG!!!  Up came a nervous SINBAD in his new batting position 6! Is KOREAN CRAZY??? Sinbad was told to play like a batsman and that’s what he did as he left a lot of bowls outside off before swinging aimlessly looking as if swatting flies. At the other end Pitstop was the anchor holding the innings together as well as constantly telling Sinbad to calm down and play straight. After Drinks Pitstop had finally had enough of people getting bowled and decided to snick one outside off to be caught behind bowled by none other than Khushalan. A good knock coming to a swift end. In came Captain Cool- Korean. Korean got off the mark with a crisp cover drive that sped away to the boundary in a flash- it looked like this was going to be his day. At the other end Sinbad was padding away deliveries on leg, middle and off and somehow getting away with lbw shouts.  Korean trying to up the score was then deceived by one that hit his bat, pad and somehow snuck in to hit the stumps.. Another BOWLED!!! Thank God not by Khushalan.  5 BOWLED!

In came Badabing ready to save the day. He looked in fine touch as he swatted away balls to the boundary with ease. Sinbad soon followed suit as he handled the spinners the way K2 had handled him the last week- SMASHING the living crap outta them.  Badabing told him to stay put but Khushalan was introduced again and got one to nip away and smash Sinbad’s stumps! 6 BOWLED!!! Sinbad walked away in disgust! Never mind Badabing was still there and was joined by Div 2 debutant Hog! Hog felt uncomfortable with his shirt on and sadly nicked one to the keeper for one off the bowling of Khushalan!!! NOT BOWLED!!!

In came Dongy with his usual one pad! Badabing at the other end was also BOWLED by James Gooding!!! OH NO!!! In comes Swahili with the score on 94 and 8 overs to go!!! Could this pair do it??  LongDong calmly played out a maiden… Swahili boiling from the six that was hit off him, smashed one as flat as a pancake out of the ground to take the Pleasure to 100! Pleasure hopes were up again and as the ball was almost lost- Sinbad inquired whether that would mean a tie??? In the end Swahili swung again off the next ball looking into the same spot he had hit it earlier only to find his bails flying all over the place! OH NO!!! BOWLED!!! Longdong stayed not out on Zero….

• Sunday 15 April 2012 SRFC Far
  Bashers Pleasure 100/10 ()
  Pudong Power 160/10 (4)

DAMN!!! The Mighty Pleasure had been beaten by last yrs Champs by 60 runs! 8 Bowled and 2 caught behind! This stopped the unbeaten streak! Oh well – u cant win em all! This was obviously a bad batting day by Pleasure (the root cause for the bad batting was found to be the lack of pies in the morning as the batsmen were hungry in the second innings! DAMN SOCIAL DIRECTOR!)

2012 Division Two

Anyways as The BASHERS always do in good spirit- we shared a couple of Beers and banter at the SRFC with the opposition… Back on the bus on the way to THE CAMEL!!! Everyone on??? Captain says YESSS!!! but wait Manoj A toi was left at the ground!!! Apparently LongDong and Korean were supposed to wait for him!!!! HMMM- we had to do a turnaround as we never a man behind! DOUBLE FINES!!!

Fine session was led by Swahili as people mounted the fines onto Longdong for being “Man of The Match”! Unfortunately Longdong had already consumed so much beer that he kept up his trend of not thinking of a fine- having to drink more!!! Sinbad was also constantly fined was his NEON green undies….

With so much traffic it was looking like a good time to polish off some beers!!! Unfortunately the fine session was cut short by lack of beers on the bus (if only the Social Director has listened to the Club Captain and put in another case!! Damn Social Director! He shuda listened and known that this was a Div 2 fine session and not a Business one!!!). One man was happy though- PITSTOP!!! true to his name he stopped the bus in the middle of Xujahui as he proceeded to break the seal in the bushes by the bus. Girls passing by were not impressed!

Finally making it back to The Camel in one piece…. Jenny traded jerseys with The Cricket Coach dude who had rode the bus back with us… We Also all took a picture with him showing The Bashers are friends with all clubs and discussing a future match with his club in Oz  (Sorry at this point stuff got a lil blurry!).

Fines continued into the late hours of the night. “Swoop” was named Cock of The Walk for his performances over the past few weeks but didnt take full advantage of it! The Hawks won ( I think) and Rosberg won the F1 (WTF!!!).

All in all a great day for Cricket but unfortunate day to lose… Let’s regroup these next couple of weeks and get em the next game like we know we can!

Special Thanks to Latex, Jenny (Inky), Tiny Tim and Tara for coming out to support and all those that scored and umpired! Let’s not forget to support Div3 this coming Sunday! Special mention to THE BEAST- Khushalan who completely decimated our batting with 5-12!!!

Also sorry for the pies! I’ll make it up this saturday when yall attend the Teppenyaki and Pub Crawl!!! DO IT!!! Details to come up soon… GO BASHERS!!

Stats:-

Bowling:  LongDong 24-2 of  6 overs, Swalz 36-2 of 6 overs, Tank 39-1 of 6, Swoop 20-1 of  6, Sinbad 37-2 of 6.

Batting: Pitstop- 21, Sinbad-16, Badabing-9.

Fielding- Longdong 2 catches, Korean one catch, Hog 1 catch, 1 stumping, 1 run out.

Neither turned out to be a reality though and we went to SRFC on time, with a full team ready for the first game of the season?

With Cranky settling into the ‘Leisure’ lifestyle he was soon introducing us to a Mexican songwriter who is huge in S. Africa and making sure we had the necessary ‘warm up’ music (girlfriend) whilst we did our stretches.

Dags won the toss and decided to field first and our opening bowlers started well, Long Dong starting with a maiden and Woodstock starting well also.

The two debutants, Adam who arrived via Taxi a few overs in and Jon (now known as Post Op and Hog, explanations not to be given in this match report) made excellent contributions in the field, Hog with a diving catch at wicketkeeper and bowled well. Post op with a catch with Woodstock diving at him and a stumping when it was his turn with the gloves.

With only 9 wides and some solid fielding all round the Leisure were in a fortunate position to have a large amount of people in the bowling attack so after some heavy rotation to keep the batsmen on their toes the twenty overs past and the Daredevils were 97-7, with Kranky 3-16. Also a very tight 4 overs from Long Dong.

Confident that with a sensible batting performance this target would be reached, it went badly in the first instance. Puberty edged for the wicket keeper to catch on the first bowl and Shit Shoes was caught not long after.

Tantric and Hog were at the crease now to start the chase. Tantric made a very slow 21 with not one boundary (hint to his Basher name) and Hog made a steady 34 not out growing more confident as his innings progressed. Post op with a valuable quickly scored 14. With the wides contributing 25 to the total the Bashers were in a strong position. And it was Woodstock who sealed the win an unfieldable (is that a word??) 4!

• Sunday 8 April 2012 SRFC Near
  Daredevils CC 97/7 ()
  Bashers Leisure 100/5 (4)

So Bashers Leisure continued the clubs unbeaten start to the season across all divisions. Ending at 100-5 with 13 balls to spare.

The two newcomers were initiated in the usual fashion but only after we had to change the vessel  on health grounds due to it being pulled from Birdshits pants seconds before.

2012 Division Three