Bashers. It's Shanghainese for Cricket

Lumberjack report : LEISURE vs DULWICH KNIGHTS SENIORS (Sept 25, 2011)

Hallelujah….what a game!!!

• Sunday 25 September 2011 Dulwich College
  Bashers Leisure 193/8 (6.93)
  Dulwich Knights Seniors 123/5 (2.83)

Great Teamwork…….solid performances……sharp fielding……all in all splendid work on the field.

PERFORMANCES:

• SCOOBIE: 50*(no) / 5 – 1 – 15 – 1 (definitely man of the match),
• PUBERTY: 42 / 4 overs for 30ish.
• STIFFY : 20 / 3 overs for 20ish
• WOODY : A quick fire 20ish / 5 overs for 25ish (good line/length)
• DAGS : 1 – 0 – 5ish – 1 (could be better)
• LATEX: Stinger of a catch….best of the season!!
• PUSHER (Jr) : An over for a few…..better than “PAPA”
• PUSHER (Sr): Diving stops at mid off…..adding to the pressure!!
• SHIT HOES : An over….bit rusty needs practice
• SEARS : Agile behind wickets…..except few ‘blinders’

Setting a target of 193 (highest of the season)…..were able to skittle our opponents out for a mere 120!!

Dulwich Knights Seniors: Contrary to the ‘title’…..sorry not much to say. Mediocrity at its best!! No one man put up a challenge….be it batting, bowling, fielding or chirping!! Guess the Leisure spirit was too much to handle.

So lads, a nice way to bow out of the season….with a BANG!!

Adios Amigos!!

By the way……Immaculate Captaincy!!

2011 Division Three

Pleasure Lumberjack: Pleasure v Leopards, Sept 11

On the anniversary of September 11, the Pleasure, pretty much on time at the ridiculous time of 6:37am Sunday morning, met at The Camel ready to tackle the Leopards and get some payback from our Muslim friends.

As it was a must win game for the Pleasure, the bus trip to the ground was spent;

• talking tactics – “we’re a better team when we chase”
• bowling approach – “keep the wides to a minimum, and take our catches”
• batting strategy – “if we bat out the overs, we should be right”
• rumour mill – “the circus is back in town”

None of these things would eventually happen, and we pray the last one doesn’t either. Plus, we welcomed our new English school teacher from Kenya via Taiwan, Andy to the team. Basher #183.

So, with a full team and Bugs not having to call up anyone’s ‘one night stand’ this week, (a bit of a shame), we arrived at the ground. Everyone got into their pregame rituals and warm-ups, such as Loose downing his second Pure Blonde before 8am, the Rock being late, and the most interesting and fortuitous being Tank’s circle of the oval moving all the cones back two metres (should have settled for two yards Tank). So, to the field we ventured… (more…)

Pleasure Report: Bashers vs Pudong

With the end of the season in sight and still well in the hunt, Pleasure assembled at the Camel on Sunday morning ready for the rubber match against Pudong Power. Skipper Bugs expressed his concern that one of the two debutants had failed to show up, and upon noting that the Hot Dogs – also rendezvousing at the Camel ahead of their match at Dulwich – only had three members total, proceeded to talk them out of the luxury bus, guaranteeing the Bashers a comfortable ride to the SRFC.

While en route, Bugs’ concern over the fate of the missing debutant grew to panic levels. He called his mobile, only to wake a “hot sounding” girl who confessed that she didn’t know where said debutant was; he insisted that Tank send an email with last minute directions to the SRFC; he even broached the idea of Shanghaiing a local who was walking along side the bus simply because he happened to be wearing all white. Despite this missing man, the team’s arrival at SRFC was uneventful, though looking back, perhaps the team should have taken better stock of the bus and its driver while disembarking. (more…)

Leisure’s Tale Of The Tape

After arriving early for a first time and being introduced to a “must win” match. Woodstock had his back in a bad position last night so he could play today. With two players short, the Skippy Mr. chirp-a-lot parrot started recruiting players in his very confidential and top secret techniques. After finding Filthy and Birdshit we started play in a cool and windy morning. Skipper set the field using his famous scatter technique.

As Sharapova smashed in to the popping crease into the wind with pace and furious grunts, no bails seemed to be falling, just the wind taking the ball for a trip down leg side (that’s my excuse too). This went one with the next bowler and the next over. The wickets took long to come and the wides for fast to go by. Had some exceptional work in the field by all players with the few bashers missed fields and dropped catches. (more…)

Butthole’s Day – Pleasure Vs Devils Doosra

A fine day it was this Sunday past, when from various modes of transport the Pleasure lads congregated around the kiddie pool to witness Birdshit bathing in a costume that Mrs Birdshit should only have to see.

A quick pep talk from the Parrot and Latex and off we set to the Far field to meet the Doosra boys ready for battle.

After a pre toss of the kooka pie box coming up heads, Bugs confidently called the toss correctly and sent the Doosra boys in to bat.

A quick fielding drill in the cloudy and breezy afternoon and off to the middle for Growler and Tiny to start the innings off against a somewhat timid batting pair with magic bats. A few umpiring anomalies regarding wides and no ball rules and the Doosra were playing and missing, swinging and snicking until Tiny broke through to draw first blood. (more…)

Lumberjack- Pleasure v Hotdogs

It was a must win game to keep the Pleasure’s final hopes alive, facing off against the old enemy DPR Hotdogs. With half the team participating or directly assembling at the SRFC, the bus ride from the Camel proved uneventful.

Arriving at the SRFC relatively early, we had time to enjoy the SCC v Hong Kong Pirates 20/20 match… A good crowd saw a tight match, with the Pirates just missing out on bringing home the victory.

With some inspirational words from our skipper, Bugs, the bowling attack fired up for a big day. ‘Billy’ Da Silva steaming in claimed the opening Hot Dogs wicket, well caught by Pothole at deep gully. Some tight bowling continued from opening partner Growler. (more…)

Pleasure Lumberjack: Bashers “Swoop” of a Day…

Arriving at the SRFC with “Tiny” by an alternative transport than the early bus, the Pleasure boys were already at the ground and going through the usual preparation for the big game smoking, eating, scratching private areas and talking about the vague memory of the night before.

As the captain for the day “Tank” went out for the toss with the Devils Digital captain, it was left to “Tiny” to prepare the boys with the fielding warm up session.

It was quickly established that we needed an IQ of aver 200 to even understand what we were expected to doing in the warm up, running towards each other, running away from each other, alternative running towards each other, alternative running away from each other (yes there was a ball involved which made it even more complicated)!!! (more…)

Business vs Pudong Lumberjack, Aug 14th

Half the team met at the Camel with the usual late arrivals, and the other half at the ground with the usual late arrivals. All honourably fined later. The Camel was encircled in rain however hopes were high that the threatening weather would stay clear from the pitch so there was no repeat of last week’s draw. This was a game the Business boys needed to win to stay in the hunt for a semi’s birth. Considering no one really wants to know about occurrences at the Camel or cares about the usual debate and banter on the bus…. let’s get straight into the game.

Upon arrival to the SRFC, we found the 20min downpour which occurred earlier left the turf soaked. Kit-bitch Tubby left everyone’s water-wings behind, except his own, so it was sink or swim. Into the fray strolled ‘the Mut’, who thought he’d leave an early mark on the game by defining the boundaries as well as everyone’s bags. (more…)

Leisure Lumberjack.

The day started well, with everyone on time for the bus except for Puberty and Sharapova and Shears and Parrot.

We arrived at the beautifully manicured SRFC to find the only shade was next to the lawnmower that Woodstock looked very at home upon.  Sharapova arrived at the ground with friend in a delightful zebra dress and Woodstock had no hesitation in giving her his pants and she assumed her position at fine leg. This leading the leisure squad to believe that for the first time in Shanghai cricket history 2 ladies represented in a competitive game.

Despite the onset of thunderstorms off the Basher’s went to bowl. What a start it was! Off the 2^nd ball of the day, 1^st legal delivery, Sharapova snuck one through the defense of last games half-century maker and knocked the off stump over. Clungealicious was the word that everyone was thinking to themselves as they ran in to congratulate Sharapova donning the multi coloured bandanna.  From there in the Basher’s settled into a happy stint of mediocrity with the runs being contained by some very tight bowling from all involved.

(more…)