Bashers. It's Shanghainese for Cricket

Ode to CXVI

There once was a Basher called Sam
the ball there is but where i am?
he got quite rural one night
and went looking for a fight
but it finished all handbags and glam

Ode to I

There once was a Basher called Paul

First on the Bashers roll call

A heartbreaker and a loner

Until came Princess Fiona

and big little Willy and all

Ode to XIV

There once was a basher called John

who’s balls hang ’round for so long

that you can swing at them twice

and still pay the price

of coming after you’re gone

Ode to C

There once was a basher called Andrew

Who fed his roses with man poo

He fancied Ollie’s Sister

But he blinked and he missed her

You can’t wash out red hair with shampoo

Ode to LXXXVI

There once was a Basher called Hadleigh

Who swung the willow madly

Give him a burger with beetroot

And  some beer in a gumboot

He’ll finish them off quite gladly

Ode to XCV

There once was a Basher called Mat

Who carried a big red sack

What had he in there?

Lots of ice cold beer

It doesn’t get much better than that!

Ode To XCIII

There Once Was A Basher Called Thomas

Through Beer Goggles, Quite The Adonis

A Distinguished Sort Of Chap

Who Knew Much Useless Crap

Now The Credit Crunch Has Taken Him From Us

Ode To XXXIX

There Once Was A Basher Called Ollie

A Wicket Keeper By Golly

In The Nets He Bowled Well

So Earned An Opening Spell

And Went On To Bowl Nothing But Lollies

Ode To LXXXVII

There Once Was A Basher Called Dean

Who For Years Was Not To Be Seen

‘Til We Needed A Boost

And He Said “Let’s Get Loose”

And Bowled A Few Down The Beam

Happy 29 Mr Unit!