1. Filthy and Shears had not made it home to their loving wives (Fei and Squeaky contacted me about good divorce lawyers the following Monday)
2. They had paid for their lavish accommodation (floor/chair) in various ways. I personally would like a refund from Shears as his services were as good as his bowling, extremely disappointing! Sinbad & the Korean mentioned something along the same lines about Filthy.
3. Birdshit was still not happy with the hotel service and was wearing two different shoes.
4. A lot of the bashers looked in good shape and therefore had not gone rural enough the night before.
5. The Castle Bar is a real sh*thole

I can’t really remember the bus ride to the NCG, but there were stories of a Jihad being put on Filthy the night before at Castle bar and only the intercultural skills of Sinbad saved the situation escalating into a riot.

Once at the NCG, we saw the Connery shield glittering in the sun waiting for the victors of the day to raise it in triumph. The Bogans heroes were well organised and had started on the Bloody Mary’s already. Maybe they thought preparing for the game in Basher style would help them break their impressive form of never winning a game. They would soon be disappointed as they faced the might of the Camel bashers.

Bugs and the Korean batted through the innings impressively and our mighty bowling attack demolished them with ease and set up a Basher vs Basher plate final. The prize on offer, a disco ball which had been redesigned for easy transportation by getting smashed during the night.

Before the game began, there was a bit of chaos as some “cake” had been consumed by various anonymous persons. This lead to Filthys shoes being taped to the goalposts, Cranky attempting to steal the Connery Shield and Shears talking about his Nanjing glory days, AGAIN!

Filthy then tried his best to imitate a Bollywood superstar when one of the “south asian” teams won and joined in their group hug jumping up and down for joy. They seemed to accept him into their ranks and his Jihad from Castle bar was finally over.

Then it was time for the big teams to rumble! The Camel Bashers began the game with a good knock from Bugs and the Korean again and then Omega and Swahili finishing off large. The final figure to win the smashed up disco ball was 69, hell yeah!

Bugs opened the bowling by being absolutely smashed for 6 by Shrek. This held up the game for the next half hour while the ball was searched for in nearby North Korea. Bugs responded with a blinder next ball and Shrek was caught by me brilliantly on the fly. Filthy then tried his best to impersonate Shears batting form for the bashers last year and got out second ball.

Then came the defining point of the game! After I bowled a great ball, Cranky closed his eyes and swung as hard as he could, somehow he connected and the ball went flying to Omega. Knowing how much they love each other, I thought this was going to be my day of glory, but it was not to be. Omega feebly dropped a sitter and then it dribbled over the boundary for 4 runs. This then was followed by my bowling getting smacked & Cranky (C*NT) finally having to retire. The last over came and Birdshit tried his best, but Shears (also a C*NT) hit the winning runs with 2 balls to go. They celebrated like little girls and skipped off the pitch holding hands.

The fine session that followed was absolutely random and I would say that the “cake” that was going around had something to do with it. The prizes were handed out and the Bashers met up at Jimmy’s for some final beers and pizza before heading to the train.

On behalf of everyone a big thanks to Hammer and everyone else involved for organizing an awesome weekend. Also thanks to Jimmy for his hospitality and bringing the BBQ so we had something to soak up the 60 beers we each drunk.

Can’t wait for the Nanjing 6’s 2012! Let’s get RURAL (no luxury hotels next time Hammer!)

More Photos courtesy of Harbhajan from the Bogans:

The two teams fought for seats on the 7 seater bus, which amazingly arrived early for once. We then listened to stories of Loose making castles in the sandpit last weekend, Badabing & Swoop going over the AFL probable play-off scenarios and the one South African on the bus was abused about the All Blacks massive comeback and victory earlier that morning (3-0 biarchs)!

We arrived at the SRFC with only 1 hour 20 minutes and 34 seconds to spare. The sky was blue, there was a slight breeze and thermometer hitting 35 degrees Celsius; it was perfect weather for kite flying and death for the team fielding first.

Tank then proceeded to win the toss and decided to test the physical conditioning of the c*ck smokers by letting them field first. Both teams went into their extremely vigorous warm-ups with the c*ck smokers doing their best to kill themselves by warming up for an hour with Circus like fielding practice. While the mighty Bashers hydrated on water, Gatorade and most importantly beer.

With a batting order that a New Zealander would be jealous of, Tank put Pothole (8) and Pitstop (31) into open. They easily saw off the opening bowlers and established a good base for the innings with Pitstop hitting early boundaries. Rock then came in with some beautiful shots and never seen before quick singles, before being runout for 49 in the last over. Dazzler continued his great form and only just missed out on retiring with his 57. Badabing smashed a quick 32no off 16 balls. With the Pleasure seeing out the 30 overs, the c*ck smokers were feeling the heat. They now faced the daunting task of needing 200 runs to win the game against a team with the confidence of the All Blacks.

The game plan was simple, keep it tight and a Pleasure victory was certain….. or so it seemed (we never calculated extras into the plan)!

Swahili opened with some mediocre bowling that showed that duty free alcohol is not always a good thing. Loose and dazzler bowled a tight spell and the overs ticked over for minimal runs. The captain decided to bring himself on. After being dispatched for a few runs he then claimed a famous “captain on captain” wicket, with Long Dong taking a beautiful, on the run catch and then letting everyone in Waigaoqiao know that it was his first catch of the season. Loose then claimed a wicket that was assisted by the batsman playing it onto his stumps. A c*ck smoker comeback then began and some arguing with the umpire assisted their efforts as a stumping was reversed. This ended with Badabing yelling “Shut the F*CK up Eric” (The batsman who was demolishing Shears awesome bowling at the time). The bashers regained control with good fielding and communication. Loose f*cked off for a BBQ and left us with 10 men for the final overs (c*nt). Didn’t need or miss him as the bashers got  3 runouts and Swoop picked up a nice cleaned bowled in the last over.

• Sunday 22 August 2010 SRFC East
  Bashers Pleasure 199/4 (7.19)
  DPR Hot Dogs 182/6 (2.22)

A great victory against the C*CK SMOKERS our fellow CAMEL BAR sponsored team. The ride back was tame and very Business like (Gay). The fine session was attended by 5 players and was very un-business like (hard out f*cking cool).

Noted:

• Dazzler wearing his pants backwards.
• Tank for saving Shears kid from brain damage.
• Extras (50) for almost costing us the game AGAIN!
• Loose for drinking all the beers and then leaving early(c*nt).
• All Blacks for destroying South Africa.
• Tank for gaining his first victory as captain.
• Bashers for abusing the TV crew there.
• Shears for having a spew and still playing.
• Great batting by the top order for once.

One more big win against the Pudong pussies this weekend and the 2^nd Division title is there for the taking. Then we don’t need to spend next season listening to Business glory stories, we will have our own.

2010 Santa Fe Championship

GO BASHERS!!!!!!

“Woodstock” won the toss and elected to field first as the ground was wet from rain earlier in the day and the outfield would dry up later. He then opened the bowling with himself and “Long Dong”. “Woodstock took first blood and got Damon out for his “third straight duck” (quoted from his team mate who has wished to remain anonymous). They bowled consistently with extras at a minimum. A change of pace was a great tactic by the captain when he brought on “Inquisition” & “Made In”. The doggies were unaware that the “Inquisition” onslaught to come. He mixed it up well and took our best bowling figures this year of 5/15, off 5 overs. “Pusher” and “Swahili” took over the reins as the heavens opened and rain the size of golf balls came down. Credit to the batsmen as they decided to continue and play in the treacherous conditions. They would regret that decision with “Swahili” taking two and “Pusher” taking one. The Harddogs then did something that was unexpected and called “last man standing” as they had failed to get 11 players to the match. The last batsman batted the innings out, adding at least another 30 runs to their total. Notable fielding came in the way of “Walrus” dropping a catch off his “family jewels” and “Tank” juggling one before it hit the ground.

“Woodstock” and “Made In” walked on with 115 to win off a wet ground and a pitch that was better described as a swimming pool. Everything was going well at the 5th over stage when we were 30/1. “Woodstock” hitting some big boundaries and “Made In” playing some nice shots that would have done better on a dry surface. Then there was a Bashers collapse, losing 6 wickets in the next 5 overs. It was left up to the rear guard to carry us through. “Birdshit & “Pusher” troubled the bowlers, before both getting out LBW (4 LBWs during the Bashers innings). One of the Harddogs got injured and due to their short numbers requested one of our players to field for them. In the spirit of the game we gave them our best fielder “Made In” who fielded brilliantly. “Smasher” put on 19 runs before deciding to finish his day by smashing the stumps with his bat. “Inquisition” and “Walrus” pushed towards the target, but came up just short as “Inquisition” got out on 23 runs. We looked and contemplated whether to take the 30+ runs for white uniform infringements. After about 2 seconds of deliberation we decided against it and headed to watch the President at Big Bamboo, Hongmei.

Man of the Match performance by “Inquisition”. We look forward to redeeming ourselves against the Hotdogs this weekend.