Calling all clever bastards. Everybody wake up!
Our own patron Danny Morrison has been contracted to lend his expertise and vocals to commentate in the upcoming IPL. He needs our help with some original chirps to pull out for those spectacular plays. Hardly anyone could sound more Basher-like than D-Man already does but come on ya pissheads, get amongst it, ya mongrels, herein lies the challenge to the Bashers, lets get on the underwood and come up with some gems for our little over-achieving friend. Submit away below. If your line gets used by the big little guy Loosey will buy a round.
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Sledges
This Cat needs to tango down the track in the hunt of a lucrative half a Doz
After a 6 | “That’s hot! Hotter than Vikrams Vindaloo I had last night, and sightly better on the bowels too…”!
After a screamer of a catch | “WHAT A CATCH! Oh yes, ate that up like he was murdering a half price chicken tikka after a bender on the Kingfishers…”
After a quick run | “That’s fine running there. Quick runs are always valuable, pity I can’t say the same with the runs I’ve been getting after eating at some of Deli’s finest establishments..”
After a dropped catch | “Oh no, he’s dropped a sitter! Looked like he was fumbling a hot vegetable samosa with that effort; useless!…”
After a mix up that leads to a run out | Oh chaos! Absolute chaos, no communication, a disaster! These two looked like they were playing chicken with peak hour pedicab traffic outside the Taj…”
Commentator One | “Well that’s right out of the ‘meat’ of the bat…”
D-Man | ‘Would have to be a white meat. They don’t eat beef here, after all…”
Commentator One| “Well he’s hit a slump now. No runs are coming. He was hitting the ball cleanly before…”
D-Man | ‘Cleanly? As Clean as the Ganges if you ask me! This guy is a goose!..”
Pre-game speech | It’s a pleasure to be back in India, the lifeblood of cricket. The land of Sachin Tendulkar, Hinduism and a movie industry that rates Brett Lee as an actor/singer.
Spiritual indeed…”
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Sledge away...